The Ramen Princess
by WaterMonkey
Summary: "She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulder and made it look like a pair of wings." Daagana never had much in her life. She was content with her ramen, her Suna and her bruises, but sometimes the rescue no one asked for comes from the most unlikely places [GaaraxOC] ((COMPLETELY REWRITTEN))
1. The Girl and the Bar

**The Girl and The Bar**

"Crap," I breathed, shoving my hands deeper into the sand, fingers digging frantically. "The book said it would be just below the surface…"

The midday sun was beating down on my back from the open skylight and sweat beaded my brow. Blood dripped onto the thirsty earth, my knees skidded and chaffing from the gritty sand beneath.

When my fingers finally glanced over something prickly, I sighed in relief. "Found it!"

* * *

"Why would someone break into the herb canyon?" Temari asked, annoyed. Somehow, she had acquired an elusive grain of sand in her sandal and it was stabbing her foot with a vengeance—but even _that_ wasn't worse than this stupid mission.

"The real question is: how are they stupid enough to trip the chakra wires? Nobody ever comes out here," Kankurou responded, not caring in the least.

Gaara didn't say anything...per the usual.

Since his birth, Gaara didn't do much of anything...except kill and breathe. His existence was so singular that when Temari was bold, she considered him retarded for how simple-minded he was. _Kill. Breathe. Kill. Breathe. Staaaaaaaaare._

She glanced back at him for a moment as they trudged through the desert and shuddered.

Up ahead was the Herb Canyon, used for growing healing herbs for medicinal purposes. The few medic-nin Suna had hailed it as their sanctuary. Temari vaguely recalled Baki telling them why the herbs were grown in this specific canyon, but she hadn't really been paying attention.

None of that idle stuff mattered to her. She was trained to have all the pertinent facts and see all the moves, but that didn't involve storing useless information such as which herbs made your boo boos feel better. Her brain space was better spent mastering her new summon.

"Isn't it supposed to be guarded?" Kankurou pointed out as they got closer.

Temari nodded, eyes scanning the area for any signs of enemies.

As a hailed sanctuary, the medic-nin required someone to stand watch day and night, although it seemed pretty pointless to her.

Who was going to raid the herb canyon anyway? What nation would brave _her_ desert for some cactus blossoms?

It was just another useless thing she had deleted from her memory.

But the lack of guard _did_ pose a problem. Were they walking into some kind of hostile situation, or had he just gone off on his own to sleep away the noon heat?

* * *

I impatiently pulled up the spiny root, cutting my palms in the process, though I barely noticed the pain. It wasn't the worst I'd had.

I glanced back at the scroll with the instructions, just to make sure I wasn't missing anything. My stomach churned at the sight of bloody fingerprints marring some of the words of the text, when my ears picked up voices from the entrance.

"Oh no!" I scrambled to my feet.

It wasn't like there was anywhere for me to hide in here. The canyon was just a round outcropping in a large sandstone hill. The walls were all smooth and round, with one way in...and one way out.

 _Only one option then,_ I thought grimly. _I have to make a run for the entrance._

I jumped to my feet, scooping up the scroll and roots, but before I could even try to move, a yell stopped me in my tracks.

* * *

"Hey!" Temari yelled as she and her brothers shadowed the entrance.

She saw the intruder hovering along the back row of crops and spun wildly, looking for an escape. She couldn't have been any older than Temari, and the look on her face was complete terror. _Brown hair, tan skin, old clothes, shinobi sandals, scarred left arm…_ Expertly, Temari took in the details, making her evaluation.

 _No threat._

"What are you—" Kankurou started to shout, only to be cut off by Temari.

"Shut up," she snapped, grinding her teeth in displeasure. _She_ was team captain on this assignment, and he was to follow her lead.

The final thing Temari noticed as she made her assessment was the girl's arm. It hung limply at her side once she'd frozen in place, and it was covered...literally _coated_ in blood. The red liquid dripped into a small puddle by her feet, and swung this way and that like a streamer attached to a stick.

 _Blood and sand,_ thought Temari, shuddering inwardly. _Gaara_ …

"Who are you?" Kankurou yelled, despite Temari's direct growl.

"Kankurou, I told you to shut up," she snapped. He immediately shot her an annoyed look but acquiesced.

"Stay here," she ordered, and started towards the girl.

* * *

The only thing worse than getting caught, was getting caught by shinobi.

I could clearly see the giant fan on her back, and the Suna headband around her neck.

This was not just any Suna-nin either. I knew exactly who she was once I got a good look at her— _Temari_.

She was famous for her ability to use her _Kyodai Sensu_ , her giant fan, and for being the only sister of Gaara—the sand demon.

Everyone knew of _him_ , of course. Rumor had it that he'd killed hundreds of people over nothing.

I always doubted he could be any worse than Giia, but as I stood in the middle of a restricted area and saw his silhouette in the entrance, I wasn't so sure.

Temari stopped a few feet away from me and squinted, like she was sizing me up. Surely, there was no mistaking the fear in my eyes, or the lack of hatred and malice.

I wasn't going to strike first—surely, she saw that.

"What's your name?" The kunoichi asked.

My eyes trailed downwards, and I saw that she was standing in the Pleurisy root like she had no idea how rare they were.

Was she going to kill me?

I _was_ stealing from the village, but that wasn't punishable by death, was it? Accidentally, I glanced over her shoulder to the mouth of the canyon and caught a glimpse of her brothers.

 _He_ killed over nothing...

When I didn't answer, she barked, " _Answer me_. Name?"

"Daagana," I said thoughtlessly.

I should have given her a different name. Maybe the name of one of those girls who worked at the perfume shop by the ramen bar. Maybe the blonde one that snickered at Giia whenever she floated by.

"And why are you here, Daagana?" Temari went on, not in the least bit phased. My name sounded dull on her lips, like she was just listing off another noun on a long list of unimpressive nouns.

"...My arm…" I glanced down at the bloody mess that was still leaking from a wound on my shoulder.

In theory, it shouldn't have been bleeding this badly, unless something more precious had been nicked, such as an artery.

Temari took in my wound with a long calculating stare. It made me antsy, and a wave of dizziness gave me the vague reminder that if I didn't do something soon, Hiniku was going to be performing her first amputation before she even graduated from the academy.

"Give me the herbs," Temari ordered.

It was my turn to study her skeptically.

Was she just going to take them and banish me from the canyon, knowing I would probably die on the walk back to the village? Or would she snatch my arm when I gave her the herbs and chop it off herself? Was there even a scenario where I got to keep them?

I didn't have any other options at this point, so I reluctantly held them out to her, quickly pulling my arm back before she could draw her knife.

With a melodramatic sigh, Temari pulled on the sash that was tied around her waist, folded it up neatly and stepped forward. I stumbled backwards, hardly believing she was going to try and strangle me! There were plenty of other ways I could die that wouldn't take that long! But she was quicker than I was and firmly pressed the sash on my wound.

"Apply pressure or the bleeding won't stop," she said, and then looked down at the herbs in her hand.

I stared at the crown of her head in shock, but obeyed her command reflexively, holding the sash where she had instructed me to.

I suppose it was just in my nature to obey.

I had no spark, no spunk or, as Giia would say, no spine. If I followed directions and didn't cause a fuss, everything should work out fine...

An insidious voice, one I usually ignored, whispered in my ear, _that philosophy never rang true at home, so why should it now?_ It always pipped up when I didn't want it to, making my hands sweat and my tongue go numb. I couldn't let it get the best of me here, though. If I gave even an inch, Temari would see, and she would not be so understanding then.

Temari bent down and placed the herbs on the ground to begin sorting through them. She seemed to know a little first aid and applied it as she pulled the leaves off all the stems and discarded them.

I whimpered a little at the discarded greens like I was watching someone stomp on silk. They could still be used to make tea, she didn't need to-

"Sit down," she ordered, and I flopped to the ground with a thud, all floral comradery forgotten.

Temari made a face, but didn't comment. She spun all the stems together, and made a simple hand seal over them, then pulled back the sash from my arm and placed the twined stems right in the gash.

I winced and looked away quickly when she made the other hand seal and the stems started to glow green. They activated, leaking out a dull white foam that stretched over the wound, and pulled the two sides together again, then hardened. What was left was an organic plaster scab.

Once the procedure was done, Temari took her bloodied sash and tied it securely around the new scab.

"In case it falls off or reopens," she said under her breath.

I couldn't believe it.

Temari...the strongest kunoichi in the village was helping me! Me, of all people!

She'd applied the stems just like the diagrams in Hiniku's book, and the reaction was exactly right.

If I'd read it correctly, the scab would rejuvenate the connective tissue between my muscles and fall off after a few hours.

And on top of it all...she'd given me her sash!

I guess I couldn't help myself. I flew forward and tried to throw my arms around her, but her hand instinctively flew up and I slammed my face into it.

There was an awkward moment of realization before I pulled back and sunk into a bow, used to my affection being rejected.

"I'm so sorry! Thank you! Thank you! I'm sorry! Thank you!" I squeezed my eyes tight, hoping she wouldn't pull out a kunai and gut me right there. It wouldn't be good for the herbs.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she coughed awkwardly, nonchalantly glancing over her shoulder to see if her brothers had noticed. "Now get out of here, and don't come back!"

I jumped up and ran for the entrance, blowing past her siblings. My heart skipped a beat as I ran past Gaara, hoping he wouldn't kill me for being in his general vicinity.

Giia usually didn't need more of an excuse than that, after all.

* * *

 **Days Later**

"Temari, _I'm starving!_ I need food!" Kankurou whined as the two elder Sand Siblings made their way through the streets of the village.

Baki hadn't given them anything challenging to do during training, so they had the rest of the day to work as they wanted, but Temari was tired of babysitting her whiny brother, so she agreed.

Gaara never trained with them, and she _was_ thankful for that, but it also meant he never ate with them, and for _that_ , somewhere deep down, she felt a little guilty.

"I wish you weren't so damn annoying," she grumbled, but Kankurou was already sitting down at the closest ramen bar.

This wasn't a street they usually traveled, but it was a nice enough part of town. The building was old but well-kept and sported bright lanterns to chase away the coming evening drowse.

"How many?" the old man behind the counter asked as Temari bent past the noren and sat down beside her brother, leaning her fan against the bar.

"Three," Kankurou said immediately, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together like he was about to receive a blessing from the almighty god of food.

"Three?" Temari sneered. "Why? You think Gaara's going to magically appear and you'll be able to sate him with ramen?"

" _No_ , I'm eating two," Kankurou said happily, ignoring her quip at him.

The old man was cleaning bowls on the other side of the counter and, although he had acknowledged them, he didn't make a move to prepare their meal.

"Heeey, start on our food, old man!" Kankurou whined.

"Soon as my hired help gets here. She's late again." He shrugged at Kankurou's ire.

"So fire her," Temari said, leaning her head on her hand, bored.

"Wouldn't be right. She ain't got a good home life," the old man said with an angry sigh. "New cuts and bruises every day." He picked up another bowl and began to dry it. "That hag comes in and takes all her money too. It's a sad sight."

"But I'm hungry…" Kankurou whispered to Temari but she shoved his face away.

"I tried to stop 'er once..." The old man continued, before catching himself.

"What happened?" Temari asked, just to keep anyone but Kankurou talking.

"That darned woman hollers for everyone to hear that she can raise her daughter however she well pleases, and it ain't my place to go against the woman, especially if the daughter don't complain."

Temari cocked an eyebrow.

"You're telling me she doesn't complain?" Temari asked incredulously. "Even though her mom abuses her?"

"I told ya' it's a sad sight. The girl ain't strong enough to hate the woman. I tell 'er every day, she ain't a mother anyone should have," the old man said, the frustration in his heart prompting him to offload _somewhere_. "But she's stubborn, and won't let anyone help 'er."

The thought occurred to Temari that this wasn't exactly table talk. It couldn't be good for business to discuss child abuse with your patrons.

"Why are you saying all this, old man?" Temari asked, feeling edgy from his overshare.

"Jus' between you and me, I thought maybe ya could—"

But before he could finish, a girl came rushing out of the back room, apron flying.

"I'm sorry Ojiisan! I...tripped and...had to clean a wound," said a familiar girl with a nervous smile.

Temari's eye twitched slightly.

 _Daagana_.

* * *

I hated lying to Ojiisan, but he always took things too far.

Sure, Giia had pushed me into a pile of her shoes and one of her stilettos dug into my leg in a bad way, and cleaning it up made me late, but that was because I had rolled my eyes at her when she was picking her outfit for the day.

After I pulled the shoe from my thigh and rinsed it for her, I made a mental note to keep all eye movements in check. It was ridiculously cheeky, I don't know what had gotten into me lately…

But one glance at Ojiisan told me that he didn't believe me.

It was a good thing he never asked questions anymore. The last time he had, I didn't come to work for four entire days because of Giia's punishment.

I glanced over the bar, and saw the wonderful faces of Temari and Kankurou. Gaara was nowhere to be found, although I wasn't sure if Ojiisan would have served him if he had shown up. Sabaku no Gaara wasn't welcome at any Suna establishment, even all-accepting Ojiisan's. _'Oh great.'_ I thought to myself.

"Serve 'em three," Ojiisan said, and went back to drying bowls.

I nodded my head and quickly began to fill three bowls of ramen as ordered. It didn't take long. After two years, it was more muscle memory than cooking. I worked in this shop every day, and it was more a home than my house was.

 _That's pathetic,_ the insidious voice whispered, and I firmly suppressed it. It would not get the better of me here, either. With practiced ease, I bumped my hip into the searing stove, feeling the singe on my side. I held my breath, knowing that no one had seen, but feeling relief when the shadow in my mind simmered back to where it came from.

Without missing a beat, I placed a bowl of ramen in front of each of them, but paused with the third bowl…maybe Gaara _was_ coming, and I was suddenly self-conscious of my ramen.

I didn't want to die because my broth was too salty.

But Kankurou motioned for me to put it in front of him as he slurped up his first bowl of noodles.

When they were content, I turned my back and began to beat udon dough into noodles.

"Where's Hiniku?" I asked Ojiisan, with my back still turned.

I heard him chuckle, and quickly spun around, only to have a bottle of water dumped on my head.

My first thought was of the noodles that were now ruined, and my second thought was to take her down.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Temari looked confused, but Kankurou burst out laughing, noodles wiggling from his mouth. I quickly recovered and grabbed a loose bottle from the counter, throwing it in her face. Temari couldn't help but smirk.

"Dinner _and_ a show," she hummed as I play-fought with my friend.

Hiniku's curly blond hair was sticking to her face, my face, and _everywhere_ as we giggled and ran circles around Ojiisan, splashing water at each other. He sputtered and waved his spatula around in the air like we were little mice scampering around his kitchen.

Just when I was winning and Hiniku's waitress uniform was more sodden than mine was, the worst person had to walk in.

Giia came waltzing up to the bar and leaned over so far that her breasts rested on the menus. I only caught the flash of her golden hair before I nearly threw Hiniku to the ground to make myself presentable, knowing it was in vain.

Giia was beautiful and terrifying, and I was plain and spineless. Next to her, I was nothing.

She leaned back rigidly while I jumped to my feet, smoothing down my damp hair and straightening my rumpled skirt and apron. She looked like smoke was about to come out of her ears, she was so mad.

Hiniku jumped up in front of me protectively.

"So, is this what you do here? Make fools of yourselves in front of respectable customers?" Giia gritted through her teeth. Her eyes slid over Temari and her brother and I saw her debate her next move, realizing who they were.

My head hung in shame.

I shouldn't have let Hiniku distract me from my duties, especially not in front of customers. _Especially_ not in front of Temari and Kankurou.

Ojiisan was going to be put out because I would have to remake that batch of noodles, which I should have started on immediately. This was my fault.

"Outside," she hissed at me, gliding out of the ramen bar with a snap.

"Gana..." Hiniku murmured quietly, but I shook my head and slowly walked around the bar to follow my mother.

She spun around to face me after leading me to the back alley, and before I could even say anything, she slapped me across the face.

It wouldn't have hurt so much, but she wore a ring on her right hand, and had a habit of turning it around her finger. It was a huge, fake thing, but sharp. She'd stolen it from the night market, hidden it in her purse, and showed it off to me later, while I scrubbed the floors at home. It just so happened to be the thing that came in contact with my face.

"You're due," she hissed, palm outstretched.

My face stayed to the side, just so I could hide the tears that were building up.

" _Now_ ," she demanded.

Slowly, I pulled out my old wallet, but she was impatient. She snatched it from my hand, tore it open and took all the money, then dropped it on the ground and stepped on it with the heel that had been in my leg that morning.

She wore them out of spite, I was sure, but there was still no mistaking how good she looked in them.

"Remember Daagana, you make a fool of yourself, you make a fool of me. And you don't want your mother to look foolish, now do you?" she asked, and I quickly shook my head.

"No, mother."

"That's a good girl," she cooed, patting my bleeding cheek.

I didn't fail to notice her perfectly manicured nails, or her new purse. She wafted the smell of cheap perfume around her like a cloud as she turned on her pretty heels and sashayed down the street. I watched her enter a bar further down the road and I knew she would not come home alone tonight...and that I should not go home at all.

* * *

Temari, without even really registering it, was anxious to know what was happening out there.

She couldn't hear what they were saying, but that in itself unnerved her. From what the old man had said, Daagana's mother was not the kind to let her give an excuse.

Power was one thing. Power was respected and feared.

Cruelty was an entirely different thing.

Cruelty was her father.

Cruelty was Gaara.

And apparently, cruelty was this woman.

Temari didn't know why she cared. Maybe it was the helplessness of the girl, something innate that made Temari want to protect her. Maybe it was simply because she already knew the girl, however tenuously.

Maybe it was because something of this girl's situation echoed her own.

Maybe…

* * *

After a few minutes, I re-entered the bar bleeding, and Temari stood from her stool abruptly. There would be no hiding the shallow gash across my face, but I still averted my face from her angry eyes just the same.

"I'm gonna kill her!" Hiniku roared and charged towards the entrance, but I caught her at the end of the bar.

Her anger was expected, and wholly unnecessary. This situation played out all the time. What reason was there to get upset about this one little thing? Giia had just had a bad morning that was all.

 _Yeah, just like every morning. Admit it—you'll never be good enough to help her._

"Will you help me?" I asked disarmingly, ignoring the whispers. It was unfair of me to manipulate Hiniku like this, but I couldn't have her go after my mother.

It was a misunderstanding, end of story.

Hiniku immediately dropped her rage and threw an arm around me protectively. "Let's get you cleaned up, Gana," she said, and led me to the back where we kept the first aid kit.

I didn't deserve someone like Hiniku, but that was alright. In a few months, when she's graduated, she'd forget all about me, just like Giia always said. I wouldn't hold her back anymore.

* * *

"I hate 'dat woman," the old man said disgustedly, shaking his spatula in the air. "One of 'dees days, I'm gonna let Hiniku at 'er. That'll show 'er."

Temari glanced at her brother, who wasn't paying much attention to anything but his second bowl of ramen.

She felt foolish for reacting to the evidence of abuse on Daagana's face. It was nothing compared to what she got during simple sparring matches with her friends. Cuts, bruises, and even the occasional broken bone were all very normal.

She was a shinobi. Pain was a weapon and an occupational hazard.

But this girl…was not like them. She didn't know to use her circumstances to her advantage. Before Daagana had come in, the old man was going to ask her to do something about it, Temari was sure.

But what was there for her to do?

Quietly, Temari walked out and glanced down the road.

She couldn't see Daagana's mother, but when she looked down, she saw a ruined wallet and a few small drops of blood.

She picked the torn piece of leather up and brushed it off.

It was a cheap thing with the Suna symbol on the front. It piqued her interest as she pulled out her own wallet and saw that she had the same one. She had gotten it in the academy when she was younger, before her Genin exam.

Perhaps this girl understood her own circumstances more than Temari gave her credit for.


	2. The Question of the Day

**The Question of the Day**

Temari walked down the sandy streets alone, heading towards the ramen bar.

She had left her brother at home, feeling foolish, but unable to help it. Her curiosity had been piqued, and nothing she told herself about it not being any of her business actually worked.

Her father used to tell her, back when he had acted like a father, that curiosity killed the cat, but only if they weren't clever enough to avoid it. He had encouraged her to look at things from all angles and analyse all the outcomes, so that she could avoid the fate of the curious cat.

She had been thrilled to death with his attention and had studied and trained harder and harder, forcing her mind to become more cunning than the other stupid shinobi that hung around. In turn, her father used to call her his _'little kitten'._

...but that was a long time ago, and now she hated cats.

Temari walked into the mildly busy place, escaping the dry heatwave sweeping through the desert, and saw Daagana pounding at dough, hands quick and sure, no hesitation about set or pressure – practiced. She watched her for a moment, before breaking the brunette girl's concentration with, "Um…hey."

Daagana turned around, surprised.

"Good morning, Temari," she said, smiling. Her entire torso was dusted in flour, and there were smudges on her face, with a large one smearing the patch on her left cheek.

"How's your face?" Temari asked awkwardly, and oddly enough, Daagana's smile didn't falter.

"It's fine," Daagana reassured her. "Hiniku is a training to be a medic-nin, so it's good to have her around. She says I'm the perfect test subject."

She shrugged her shoulders to get rid of the kinks and busied her hands with preparing a bowl of ramen.

In the back of her mind, Temari didn't think that they had specialized medical classes in the academy – if they did, she definitely would have taken them; she'd been an over-achiever back then. The minute she became a genin though, she'd learned to prioritize – things like bragging rights and useless knowledge stopped being so important when you were fighting for your life.

"Why are you smiling?" Temari asked tersely.

"Why not?" Daagana replied, ladling steaming broth into a bowl.

"Being physically and emotional abused by your mother seems like a pretty good reason not to."

Temari wasted no time and put no effort into being tactful. She had come here for answers.

The only sign that she'd hit a nerve was the small pause Daagana took between dressing her dish with nori, and grabbing a handful of bonito.

"Giia isn't all bad," said the tanned girl with a practised air. "I know she loves me, even if she doesn't say it. She's overprotective, that's all – back when I was little, one of her boyfriends said I was going to be beautiful. Wouldn't you be careful with your daughter if some man did that to her?"

Temari sneered outwardly, annoyed with herself now that she recognized the signs of Stockholm syndrome. And yet, a large part of her felt more and more intrigued, seeing it in action.

There were things you read about in books and can understand from just definitions, but seeing psychological disorders in person was completely different. While she had studied torture and mind breaking, she had never actually believed that someone could 'fall in love with the person who peeled off their fingernails', as her rather sadistic sensei had put it.

Still, she didn't miss the hitch in Daagana's tone when she said the word love, as if even _she_ didn't believe what she was saying.

"And I guess…I guess Giia must have been scared that I would leave her behind if I became more beautiful than her – which doesn't make _any_ sense because she's just so _beautiful_ and I'm not even—" The tiny girl caught herself, realizing that she had gone off on a tangent.

"But either way," she said, clearing her throat self-consciously, "that's all it is. No big deal."

"You didn't answer my question," Temari said, ignoring the fury at her indifference. "How are you smiling? Why?"

Daagana placed a bowl of ramen in front of the irate kunoichi. Temari had watched the girl make it, but she hadn't realised it had been for her – she hadn't even placed an order. _Coping mechanism_ , her brain supplied solemnly.

"I guess…" Daagana wiped her palms on her apron and actually had to think about her answer now that her excuse to busy her hands was gone.

It bugged Temari to no end that this girl would continue to be beaten again and again, _knew_ that she was being hurt for no reason, and still wonder _why_ it was happening.

"I guess the answer is, what else am I supposed to do?" She smiled with a loneliness that made Temari shiver. "She's my mother."

After that, Daagana turned away to make ramen for another customer that had come in, shutting down the conversation, and Temari couldn't find her voice to say a damned thing.

* * *

Temari brought her giant fan down with a wicked _slash_ , slicing a rock clean in half.

Kankurou appeared beside her in a puff of nin-smoke, his puppet hovering behind him. "Where's your head at? You missed me by a mile," he jeered, though he kept a wary distance – when Temari got like this, she was liable to take his head off and not even bat an eyelash.

"Anything else!" Temari suddenly shouted, and he took a large step back. This had not been the answer he expected. "She could do anything else! Who the _fuck_ gets beat up _just because?_!"

With that, Temari delivered a shock wave of wind that seemed like it leveled the desert itself. Her breath came out of her in sharp ragged bursts as she threw her fan down and kicked it.

Kankurou backed away slowly.

So it was _that_ time of the month.

* * *

Giia wasn't going to be very happy when she found out that the strongest kunoichi in the village was snooping around in her business.

I was as shocked as anyone when Temari entered the shop and asked such blunt questions…but it wasn't like she was the first. People always worried when they first found out but, eventually, they left it alone.

Eventually, they realise that it isn't Giia that's the problem, it's _me_ – I'm not a very good daughter and Giia just gets frustrated with my incompetency.

A small part of me whispered, _I don't deserve this. She's horrid._

I clamped down on it, reminding myself that even if she was a bad person, she had still given birth to a worse one.

It was mid-afternoon and the lunch rush had come and gone.

There was a couple sitting together at the bar, making gooey eyes at each other. They came in quite frequently and, to my horror, I think I'd witnessed the birth of their romance. They'd come to the ramen shop on their first date, awkward and oblivious. He'd paid and she'd blushed. Then, a few weeks later, he'd been brave enough to order a drink in front of her. Lucky for him, he'd found the only woman in Suna who could drink him under the table. They'd left in each other's arms, hiccuping and blushing, and ever since, they'd been stuck like glue and occupied the corner seats on an almost regular basis.

It wasn't even a unique story.

Ojiisan's ramen bar was _blessed_ , according to local superstition – good things just happened here, for everyone.

 _Except you,_ a bitter voice whispered from inside. _Because there's something wrong with you._

I watched them from the corner of my eye and quietly sank into myself. Maybe there _was_ something wrong with me…

"You're green," Hiniku teased, breaking me out of my funk. She was dragging a sack of rice from the back, seeing as the one out here had run out.

She propped it near the cubby where we kept it and came up to me, giving me a sad look. "One of these days, Gana, somebody'll come for you too, I _promise_."

"You make it sound like I _need_ someone," I said, laughing perhaps a little too unnaturally, stirring the fish stock with more force than needed.

"If anyone deserves someone to love them, it's you."

She bumped my hip with her hip, making me drop my spoon.

"Hiniku!" I exclaimed, staring at the pot in dismay.

" _Anyway_ ," she continued on, as if nothing had happened. I gave her my best glare, but I don't think it was very effective. "Ojiisan needs you to work the morning shift tomorrow, so you have to stay over tonight."

She slapped down her bowl with triumph and grinned at me like a cat who'd found the cream, her blonde curls framing her face despite the ponytail they were tied back in, her cute nose twitching.

 _Rip all her perfect hair out,_ said the voice – it was becoming more and more prominent in my mind. _Carve her skin and see the blood flow. Red goes so well with gold…_

NO! No, I don't…Hiniku is the best thing that has happened to my life! She's even offering me a place to stay, away from Giia—

 _I thought Giia was just misunderstood? You deserve the pain, don't you? Stop being such a coward._

I shook my head fiercely, trying to get rid of the thoughts.

"I doubt Giia will let me," I said, and luckily, my voice didn't give away my…thoughts.

Are they even my thoughts?

What's…what's _wrong_ with me…?

"Who cares?" snorted Hiniku, used to my reply and knowing that I was just going through the motions of refusing. "Besides, _who_ buys her ugly shoes and nasty perfume? One would _think_ she'd let you do whatever you want, what with how much money she owes you."

Hiniku sniffed haughtily, irritably, and I knew she was trying very hard to hide her contempt towards Giia. "I expect to see you at six o'clock," Hiniku ordered playfully.

If anyone could stand up to Giia, it was Hiniku.

She took it upon herself to watch out for me, ever since the day I'd started. Even though she was a full two years younger than me, taller, and more confident, she was as protective as a mother would be...or at least, what she said a mother _should_ be.

I remember listening in fascination as she talked about her mother, and I thought she was lying at first, but then…I knew Hiniku, and I knew what she looked like when she lied, and she _wasn't_. Her mother was…was _wonderful_.

She had been a jounin, and her father had been a medic-nin, both of whom had died in the last Great War. I loved hearing stories about them, and Hiniku never got tired of telling them. I knew tonight too would be full of wonderful stories, and I was so excited.

A small part of me, though, wished _I_ had stories to tell.

Only a small part though.

* * *

The sand siblings walked behind Baki, heading towards the Kazekage's office.

It was the only place Temari saw her father nowadays - he hardly ever came home, and when he did, they barely exchanged a few curt words.

 _How tragic it must look from the outside,_ thought Temari, before mentally shrugging. They were shinobi, and this was just a consequence of their duty to Suna – family came second; it was one of the first things they taught in the academy.

Gaara didn't seem too thrilled to see their father, though Temari supposed that was a given. Gaara didn't really have a wide range of moods; deadpanned or crazed were his only settings.

 _Probably a by-product of the dozens of assassination attempts._

How and why Gaara didn't just kill their father was something she would never understand. She and Kankurou wouldn't really weep over it.

When the four entered his office, Rasa was standing, staring out the wide window at the village. Sunset was drawing close and the orange twilight blinded her.

"Lord Kazekage," Baki said, bowing. The siblings didn't follow suit.

"What's this all about?" asked Kankurou, always the most impatient one out of the three siblings.

If Rasa was upset by his son's lack of propriety, he didn't show it.

"We are planning an attack." The Kazekage's eyes flickered over them intimidatingly, until they fell on Gaara and stayed there. "On the Village Hidden in the Leaves."

* * *

I slipped down the hall, trying my hardest not to wake Giia and her latest conquest.

It was close to eleven o'clock already, but I smiled to myself. When Hiniku said six, what she really meant was _'anytime you can get past Giia'._

I never actually made it to her house when she asked me to be there, and at this point, it was more of a sarcastic tradition than an actual appointment. Tonight had taken especially long – Giia had continued the almost-too-painful-to-watch foreplay till around ten.

She usually played some sort of loud music to drown out the groaning coming from her room; our house wasn't big and the walls were thin, so the neighbors could hear everything, though Giia liked to at least _pretend_ she wasn't moaning for the entire neighborhood to hear.

As soon as the music stopped, meaning she'd thankfully fallen asleep, I slipped out of the hou—shack that we lived in.

After that, I was free and sprinting down the street.

The village was still very much alive at this time of night, between the night stalls and whore houses that were open all hours, but I veered off towards the residential neighbourhoods where Hiniku and Ojiisan lived.

In terms of location, I lived closer to the ramen shop than they did, my house being in _'Poor Side'_ and theirs in the Seijo district to the west. Sunagakure was made up of many different districts, but essentially quartered into four distinct sections, with the Shinobi Administration building at the centre.

The North Quarter was where the very well-off villagers lived, with mansions bigger than mountains with waterfalls and palm trees. The East and West Quarters were where the majority of the population lived and worked. It was an even balance between shops and middle-class family homes.

And lastly, the South Quarter, also known as _'Poor Side'_ , was the slum...where I lived. I hadn't lived there my whole life. Growing up, we moved quiet often, but there has never been a time in my life where I didn't have a roof over my head – Giia was always very good about that.

Now, there were times when I chose not to sleep under that roof, but those were of my own making. She still provided. She still loved me enough. Because, by logic, if she didn't, would she still keep me around?

The streets were dark on this side of town, with only the street lamps to cast shadows every hundred feet or so. Running as fast as I could, I could make it to Hiniku's house in fifteen minutes, as long as there were no stops along the way, or any –

A figure dropped down into the street in front of me and I skidded to a halt. It was _Gaara_.

Part of me thought this was just random coincidence, and then the other more insane part of me realized this was probably delayed punishment. He'd caught me stealing, and Temari had let me off with a warning. That probably hadn't been enough for him; not enough pain or bloodshed. I wasn't dead, and that was a problem for him.

He regarded me blankly, not like a male would look at a young girl in the dark, but like a cougar eyeing a trinket.

I wasn't a meal just yet.

Remembering my manners and hoping they would keep me alive, I bent into a shallow bow.

"Good evening, Gaara-sama."

I swallowed, and after a moment, bravely started walking again.

He didn't move as I passed, and I didn't look back the entire time I ran to Hiniku's house. Though…

He didn't seem demonic enough to be labelled _'Sand Demon'_. He had just…stared at me. At least he hadn't crushed me into dust.

 _Crush him first, before he crushes you._

That's just suicidal. Shut up.

 _Not suicidal. You know what we're capable of._

There's something _inside me, something_ – ignore it. Ignore it and it will go away.

* * *

The front door was opened before I even made it all the way there and Hiniku wasted no time in pulling me down into a pile of pillows in the living room.

"What's the story about tonight?" I asked, shaking off my unease from my earlier encounter, and my increasingly alarming thoughts.

"Hmm..." She put her finger to her chin and looked at the ceiling. "Oh!" she exclaimed happily, propping herself on a fluffy cushion. "Did I ever tell you about the time that mama and papa worked together to take down a power-hungry lord?"

I laughed, knowing for sure she had just made it up.

"No, I haven't heard that one yet," I replied, smiling indulgently.

"It's true, Gana," she insisted, twirling a blonde curl on her finger. "Mama was dispatched by the Kazekage to go and check out this evil man. Her orders were to confirm the information, but not engage."

I snuggled deeper into the pillows and readied myself for a good one.

"When she got into the compound, she saw three, no, _six_ hostages and there were nine ninja in there, ready to kill them. Mama told her superiors the situation but they told her not to engage. And what did she do?"

"What?" I gasped, feigning suspense.

"She went in anyway," said Hiniku proudly. "She went in with her kunai and shuriken and killed all the ninja, and brought all the hostages home!"

"Hey, Hiniku," I said, face deadpanned.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"You said your mama and papa took down an evil lord. Your papa wasn't in the story," I said teasingly.

"Well, well – I'm not finished with the story yet!" she sputtered.

"Fine, fine," I said, nodding placatingly. "Please continue."

" _Thank you,_ " she said huffily. "Now, mama and papa..."

* * *

Gaara sat on the roof and listened to the stories the blonde one told.

His plans for the night had not included meeting the small girl in the street, or letting her live for that matter, but it wasn't lost on him how the voices in his head went quiet when she came close.

For those few moments, Shukaku had been blissfully silent. It was the first time he'd heard himself think in a long time.

He knew the stories were fake, but, by the way they were told, it didn't really matter.

The story went on to tell how her mother and father had battled the evil lord, and her mother died a most gruesome death. Her father, who was only a medic-nin – like Yashama— _don't think about him he's bad he's evil I hate him how could he traitor liar only love myself no one else I'm a monster_ – was enraged and killed the evil lord, and brought his wife back to life.

Gaara frowned. The man should have left the bodies behind, and gone home with the glory. He didn't understand why the man stayed and tried so hard to save the woman.

"Pathetic," he said under his breath, and jumped onto another roof.

* * *

 **The Next Day**

It was a good morning.

Good, because Ojiisan gave me the early shift, and good, because that meant I didn't have to go home to Giia and whoever else was there. Mornings were always the slowest shift and for a while after we had opened, I was the only one there.

Half an hour of washing dishes, chopping bamboo shoots and mixing broth later, a boy walked in. He looked my age, and was sporting a deep blush.

"Welcome!" I said, smiling over my shoulder. "What can I get for you?"

He looked around the shop like I hadn't even spoken and, when he couldn't seem to find what he was looking for, he frowned.

"Is, uh...Hiniku here today?" he managed to say, his blush deepening.

I wiped my hands on a towel and turned to get a better look at him. A mop of curly red-orange hair, freckles more abundant than skin, strong arms, and was that a kunai pouch?

"Why are you looking for Hiniku?" I asked as I crossed my arms. He looked like someone who went to the academy with her, but what business could he have with her before class?

"I just had to ask her something," he said defensively, glancing around again like he was making sure he hadn't missed her, or that she wasn't hiding from him. It finally dawned on me what this was and my jaw slacked a bit.

"S-She'll be here in the afternoon. Come back then," I told him and offered a smile.

He returned it once he realized I'd given him what he wanted and flashed me a dimpled smile. He left a happy boy, leaving behind a very lonely girl.

So Hiniku was going to get her love before me, huh? That was…really nice. Good, expected even.

Yeah.

 _Rip her pretty hair out, and she'll be yours forever._

* * *

Temari leaned on the wooden frame outside the ramen shop and watched the ginger boy scamper out excitedly.

 _I doubt she even has a reason to live. Even_ Gaara _has a reason to live, twisted as it is_ , she thought derisively, trying to justify her inexplicable need to _fix_ the idiot girl.

She was just…irritated, that's all.

Of course! Why else should she care about some random stranger who looked too fragile and yet too brave, who defended someone who was slowly killing her on the inside, who looked so happy even then—

She _didn't_ care. She was Temari, and caring wasn't in her job description.

Or so she liked telling herself.

The blonde kunoichi that had recently taken an interest in my life walked in as I was staring at my shaking hands, mapping the calluses and cuts with a blank fascination that was becoming worryingly more common day by day.

"Daagana?" she said, and I jerked my head up.

"Huh? Oh, hello Temari," I said, recovering quickly and going back to chopping vegetables, trying to hide the fact that my hands were unsteady and my knuckles were white as they gripped the knife.

"Hn..." she answered and took a seat without another word.

It wasn't the stool she sat on yesterday or the day before. It looked like she was going down the line, trying to get a feel for each position. Third day in a row was impressive though.

"Daagana," Temari said after a little while.

"Hmm?"

I wasn't even surprised by her intro. She seemed to start all her conversations with direct statements.

"Did you go to the academy?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered honestly.

It was a harmless enough question, with a well-known answer, but I could feel her suspicion. "Is that today's question, then?" I added, just to poke a little fun at her, but when I turned around, she wasn't smiling.

"So you know how to fight then?" she pressed.

"A little, I suppose," I shrugged.

Going to the academy and working to feed Giia had been more than I could handle, and in the end, I had to choose the more practical option. Being a ninja would have paid decently, but I couldn't afford the long years it would take me to get that far.

There were things that Giia just had to have, and working as a waitress made sure I could get them for her. I still kept a few little thing to remind me of my time there: my pouch, my wallet, my transcript (just in case).

It had been so much fun, learning how to handle weapons and do projectile math, but I couldn't be a child forever, as Giia had put it. I had to grow up and be an adult, and having a stable job was the most expedient way to do it.

"Then why don't you defend yourself?" Temari snapped, a little more forcefully than I think she meant to.

She didn't even have to tack on a cause, we both knew who she meant, but I still shuddered under the weight of the question. How was I supposed to provide her with an answer she would accept when there wasn't one? I knew whatever answers let me sleep at night would not be satisfactory to Temari.

I stared at her, at the stubborn tilt of her lips, at the sharp angles of her eyebrows, at the marble set of her face, and all I saw was the intimidation that had earned her a place on the strongest team in Suna. Nothing in her features begot trust, but…

Her eyes were a deep aquamarine, glittering with honesty and…something that I'd seen in Hiniku's eyes all too many times, though I couldn't really name it. Something that felt suspiciously like a wall within dissolved at the look in her eyes.

"...I think...it's because...I don't know how," I admitted quietly.

"Then I'll train you," she said eagerly and jumped up. "Come on– "

"No, Temari, it's not like that. I know _how_...it's just...how do you fight your mother?" I asked, admittedly more pathetically than I intended.

She sighed and sat back down. Lacing her fingers together, she stared at me over them, like this was some sort of interrogation. In response, my mouth opened on its own and words flew out to try and make her stop staring.

"Besides, she doesn't mean it," I said in a rush, eyes wide in earnestness. "They're accidents most of the time, and I'm clumsy – I fall over myself—"

"She slapped you across the face in the middle of the street," Temari said steely.

"She was just embarrassed!" I exclaimed in justification, the excuses pouring out of my mouth as easily as breath. "Your family is just so important, she didn't want me to make a bad impression. I'm sure your mom scolded you for your manners once or twice too."

I chuckled nervously, seeing the unimpressed lilt of her eyebrows.

"My mom died a long time ago," she stated matter-of-factly and I blanched at my error.

"I'm so sorry...I didn't mean...how did she die?" I asked. It's like I can't do _anything_ right…

"You don't want to know," she muttered dryly. _"I wish_ I didn't know."

She turned her head and let her arms fall. She seemed a little disheartened and while I was sad for her, I was happy that she wasn't firing off questions left, right and center.

"Did you know her well?" I tried again softly.

"Of course," she said blankly, like it was a stupid question.

Because _of course_ she knew her mother well. Children are _supposed_ to know their mothers well.

 _You don't, and you never will. Your brain is defective. You're defective._

"She was the happiest person I knew," she whispered with a wistful smile on her face. "Even when my father was around, she could always get him to smile. She was the best, but..."

I stood quietly and waited for her to finish, but when she didn't, I decided that the topic was closed.

"Would you like some ramen?" I asked. Ojiisan always made me ramen when I was upset.

"Ramen sounds really good right about now," she huffed in amusement, almost like she couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.

I nodded happily and started to make her a bowl when another customer walked in. "Welcome! What can I—"

" _Daagana_."

Her voice was pitched low, and my smile faded the instant I turned and looked at her.

Today, Giia was wearing a rich blue kimono with gentle waves embroidered on the edgings, the cloth falling around her in waves, accentuating her curvaceous figure. I knew the necklace she was wearing had been nicked from the shop down the street when the store owner wasn't looking – she liked to wear the things she'd stolen and then parade them in front of the people she had taken them from.

It was a power trip for her, but the only reason she stole was because I didn't make enough money to sustain her shopping habits. If I was better, she wouldn't be bad.

Temari was not-very-subtly glaring daggers at her.

"I don't have any more," I said quietly and shot a nervous glance at Temari.

"What?" she hissed, glaring. "What did you do with it?"

Giia obviously wasn't catching my cues. I was just trying to follow what she had instructed the other day. Don't embarrass myself and I wouldn't embarrass her. But if she would just notice who else was in the bar...

"I haven't gotten paid since the last time—"

"How do you expect me to impress the Kazekage, hmm?" she demanded in clipped tones. "In these rags? _Where is the money_?"

Giia reached across the bar for me, but Temari had seen enough.

For one, Giia had mentioned her father and that was enough to get any of the siblings mad; two, she was reaching for me in public, which gave Temari the right to enforce the law, as a shinobi; third, Temari, I knew, had been itching for an excuse to manhandle Giia.

* * *

As the _disgusting_ woman reached over the counter, Temari grabbed her fan from where it was leaning on the bar and swung it down on her.

There was a loud cracking sound, and Temari quickly pulled back her fan. The look on Giia's face was horrid, like she couldn't breathe, and in fact, Temari doubted she could. She had used full force.

Temari was surprised she was still alive.

Suddenly, Daagana grabbed her hand and quickly said, "Hurry."

Temari let the younger girl, who looked torn between happiness and guilt, drag her out of the shop, flipping the sign from 'open' to 'closed' as they went past it.

She looked back and saw Giia slump off the counter, and when Temari looked at Daagana to see her reaction, she was pleased to note the beginnings of an unconscious smile on the girl's lips.

Temari, for the first time since meeting the girl, thought that maybe this wouldn't end tragically.


	3. It Can Get Awful Lonely in the Black

**It Can Get Awful Lonely in the Black**

Temari found herself unnervingly relieved that Daagana didn't seem too upset by Temari's assault on her mother. She was running and dragging Temari's hand like her life depended on it, but there was a cheerful gleam in her eye that Temari found satisfying. Finally Daagana led her to a rundown shack at the edge of ' _Poor Side_ '. Temari could only remember having come down here once in her life. It was when she was still an academy student, and one of the girls in her class had gotten really sick and missed class. Her instructor had asked Temari to deliver the girl's homework to her and report back to the academy with an update on her condition. It was her first ever mission, and she accepted it with all the seriousness an eight year old could. She followed the directions to the girl's house without looking up from the scroll, and when she arrived, she was terrified to find herself in a part of her village she'd never seen before. Crumbling walls, dirty piss ridden streets, shady characters lurking around every corner...this was not the Suna she knew. The academy wasn't exactly in the Northern Sector, but it was never as bad as this!

Bravely, she'd swallowed her fear and knocked on the door to the girl's house. Her little brother had answered and let Temari in, but all her gusto drained away once she saw the inside of the house-room. It was a single room. The girl from her class was curled on a futon in the corner, coughing quietly while her mother tended to her. Disgust at the lack of prosperity and room was not what Temari recalled from that moment. It was how the girl's mother could cry so silently that no one noticed. She wasn't going to live, and the family had no money for medicine. To top it off, the girl's late father was a deserter from the last great war, and they lived in the shadow of his shame.

Temari had run all the way home, frazzled and limp. She didn't give her report to the academy instructor or even leave the girl her homework. She wasn't going to do it anyway.

It was later on in life that Temari learned the lesson life had been trying to teach her, and it had been made plain to her that no matter what side of the village you're from, you're only as strong as you train.

"This is your house?" Temari asked carefully as she stepped inside.

"Yes, Giia always remembers to pay the rent. She's...very good about that." Daagana said amply. She led Temari to what the Kunoichi assumed was the living area and sat them down at a low table. It was old but freshly sanded and had a large gouge wound in the middle.

"What's this?" Temari fingered the jagged hole. Daagana stared at it for a moment, like she had forgotten it was there, then laughed nervously,

"Not sure. It's been there for as long as I can remember." She went about finding cups for them to drink from and offered Temari a can of juice. She accepted it with a nod.

"What was Giia saying about the Kazekage, before I hit her?" Temari asked and Daagana good naturedly rolled her eyes and sat back down. With an empty cup, Temari noticed.

"Giia has plans to woo the Kazekage into marrying her. To my knowledge nothing has come of it, but that's probably only because they've never met."

"How does she expect to do that?" Temari cocked an eyebrow.

"I have no idea…but that's why she always needs new clothes and to get her nails done. She has to look her best to be noticed by him." Temari didn't even want to touch the subject of her father falling for a woman, let alone this woman. This phenomenon was not unheard of, but she doubted that even Giia would want the riches if it meant she also had to have the man. Then again, perhaps they would complement each other; cruel on cruel.

Daagana led Temari through the house, what little there was of it. And Temari made sure to seem like the smallness didn't bother her. Daagana's shack was squished between two slightly larger shacks like an afterthought, and there were only three rooms to speak of: the kitchen, the living area, and Giia's room, where the only bathroom was. Daagana didn't have a room. She mentioned in passing that she used to when she was small, but Giia tore the wall down to make her closet bigger and house all of her clothes and shoes and men. Daagana made it seem like she didn't mind, the living area was cozy and it made it easier for her to slip in and out unnoticed. When the tour was over, Temari suddenly found herself scared to death of being asked what her house was like. There was no way in hell she was going to tell Daagana that her room was bigger than this entire house. That her closet, although not full of fancy dresses or shoes, was still _full_. So she stayed for as long as socially necessary before excusing herself with feigned training. Daagana happily waved her off, and then Temari was alone on those piss ridden streets that she loathed.

She made her way directly back home, via rooftops. It was unnecessary. She was safe in the village, there was no need to be in such a rush, but she felt dirty. She lived in the North Quarter in the most well to do neighborhood. Practically the opposite side of the village from Daagana. Life had taught her this lesson already, but even the refresher was painful.

She was the daughter of the Kazekage. She was not like Daagana, nor would Daagana ever be like her. Temari chided herself for spending so much time with one girl. She had bigger, more important things to worry about then some weak woman at a ramen shop. She should be focusing on the invasion. Konoha? She shook her head. It just didn't make sense…Why them? Why the Sound? Why the leaf…

Servants who worked in the mansion greeted Temari as 'Lady' when she entered and rushed about, doing their daily work as usual. In the main foyer of the mansion she saw her two brothers standing by the couch looking bored as ever, and waiting for her.

"What?" She snapped when Kankurou gave her a look.

"Where have you been?" He accused. "You missed training. Baki's pissed."

"Baki can go to hell." Temari retorted but before she could reach the stairs…Gaara spoke.

"Don't go up there." Temari froze at the sound. When was the last time she'd actually heard him speak? Yesterday, a week ago? She turned back to him, slowly. A gesture of habit. If you move slow enough, the sand couldn't mistake you for a threat.

"Why?"

"Because there's a woman up there." Kankurou answered and crossed his arms.

"A woman?" Temari cocked an eyebrow at him, wondering why the brother's were buddy-buddy all of the sudden.

"Yeah a woman. _With_ _dad_." Abruptly, and to everyone's extreme displeasure, there came a giggle from the balcony, and a knock on the front door. Temari ignored the knock and took another stair. Who the hell was giggling?

One of the maids answered the door and came silently into the living room.

"Lady Temari—"

"What?" Temari snapped, half way up the stairs.

"There is a visitor here for you."

"Umm…" Daagana poked her head around the maid shyly. "You forgot this." She held up a scroll that was indeed Temari's. In a fit, Temari stormed back down the stairs and snatched the scroll from her frightened hands. She was embarrassed, especially in front of her brothers. Now she would have to explain what she had been doing all day, and what she had been spending her time on. In the back of her mind, beneath the shame, there was surprise at how fast Daagana had managed to catch up to her.

Giggle.

Daagana froze. Temari gave her a once over and saw her rigid expression.

"What?" She demanded. The girl shuddered under her anger, never wanting to be the focus of it.

"I didn't mean to lie." She said quietly.

"Lie?" Temari reached for her almost before she knew she was going to, but—

"Oh pay her no mind, she lies about a lot of things." A voice over the railing said. Everyone looked up at the woman-Giia, who was leaning over the banister, her bosom resting on the railing. The Kazekage in his white robes had a casual hand on her back. Immediately, Daagana's eyes snapped to the floor. _This was not happening,_ she seemed to tremble. Giia was perched delicately, no sign that she had been assaulted by the strongest Kunoichi in the village. She didn't even have a bruise, or she would have winced when the Kazekage stroked her back like a cat. His eyes gleamed. Just an hour ago Daagana had assured Temari that nothing was happening between Giia, and the Kazekage. But...apparently something was!

" _You_." Everyone startled at the sound of Gaara's voice. He didn't understand nor care what kind of situation was going on, only that the woman was far too close to his target to be innocent. " _Get out_." Despite the death written on Gaara's face, Giia slowly, graciously lifted herself up and made for the stairs, unsubtly grabbing the Kazekage's butt as she passed.

"Now dear, I've talked with your father and he assures me the little incident at the ramen bar won't happen again." She smiled at Temari when she reached the bottom stair. Like a hurricane, Temari whipped back for her fan, but a hand grabbed her wrist and she glared at Konkurou. Giia beamed in triumph. "Now, come along Daagana, this is no place for the likes of you." She blew a kiss to the man still standing at the railing, and then dragged her daughter outside. Temari hadn't actually thought of the consequences when she smashed Giia into the bar, but now that they were before them, there was no overlooking them.

After an agonizing second, she shoved Konkurou off her and hissed,

"What the hell did your stop me for?" But she knew the answer before she asked, and he didn't bother. This woman was _something_ to their father, and they both knew not to touch his toys.

* * *

 **Next Morning**

I quietly walked down the road behind Giia. It was time for the Chuunin Exams. This year they were being held in the Village Hidden in the Leaves in the Land of Fire, and all of Suna was assembling to send off our team to compete. I was going because Giia told me I had to, she was going to see the Kazekage. I didn't really want to see Temari leave. Moreover, I couldn't bear to watch. I'd never had any other friends besides Hiniku and Ojiisan, and while I didn't know if she considered that of us, I still considered her a friend. At one time in my life, I could have been going to the exams with her. I knew how to fight and how to use Chakra. Granted I didn't know how to do it well, but if I had been allowed to stay in the academy and learn…I could have been something—better than whatever I was now.

"Are you ready?" Kankurou asked as he stood beside his sister. She sat on the balcony in her rooms that overlooked the northern village gate, with her knees pulled up to her chest, chin resting on them. She was staring at nothing. She couldn't see the expanse of desert or the mirage of an oasis miles away. Kankurou shuffled awkwardly, not sure what to do with this womanly thing before him. This was hardly his sister. She was moody sure, but never mopey. Temari broke things, she didn't cry over them.

"Did you see her face?" His sister whispered.

"Whose?" Kankurou asked.

"Who do you think, you idiot!" Temari barked and punched his leg. He skidded away before she could do any real damage and gaped at her.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" He cried and rubbed his shin.

" _Nothing_." She huffed and retreated back into the fetal position.

"Tell me!"

"We don't have time!" She snapped.

"Cut the act." Kankurou fired back as he bent down and poked her in the ear. "We're the one's risking our necks to go undercover here. I think they can stand a couple more minutes of waiting." She swatted his hand away and sighed. While Temari might have been acting differently, this was Kankurou in the flesh. Her brother was kindhearted at his core. A thug and an idiot, but kind. So, with a heave, she told him. She told him about Daagana, and her mother, and going to the ramen shop every day, and the shack and her memory. She told him that this was wrong, all of it. He agreed with her, for the most part, but didn't fail to remind her of the truth:

They were Shinobi.

And Shinobi followed orders.

* * *

We, as a village, waited at the eastern gate for the Sand-nin to come and bid their good-byes. Personally I didn't want to think about it...but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. _'What was going to happen to me now?'_ I scrunched up my face at the thought, but immediately let it relax. My face, at the moment, wasn't in the best condition, due to Giia's tantrum this morning. She couldn't find her left shoe, so she gave me a black eye. It was all very confusing at first. I thought that after we left the mansion, she would have lectured me into oblivion, but we just went home and continued on as normal. There was no anger or reprisal. And because of that, I didn't dare ask her about the Kazekage. How the hell she pulled that off, I'll never know.

I also didn't know why I bothered to ask myself the same question over and over again. What was going to happen to me? What was I going to do? The same thing I had always done. Meeting Temari didn't change anything…although this new thing with the Kazekage did. Maybe now that Giia had the man that she wanted, she would be happier? I didn't dare hope.

Suddenly the whole crowd erupted into applause, and I jerked my head up. Coming down the path the crowd had made for them, were the Sand nin chosen to participate: Temari and her brothers. I craned my neck to see her, but from where I was standing, she was blurry, especially with my swollen eye.

"Do you think she even came?" Temari whispered over to Kankurou. It felt good to have someone to complain to.

"I bet Giia made her." He responded. Gaara walked silently in front of them secretly scanning the crowd as well. He too was searching for the girl. But not because he was worried about her well being or because he wanted to wish her goodbye, but because he knew where she was, Giia was. And he planned to kill her.

"Look." Kankurou jutted his chin in the direction of the crowd and Temari's eyes followed. There, in the throng stood a very somber Daagana. Temari almost stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her black eye. Even Kankurou couldn't help but grimace. They both knew who had given it to her, and they were both filled with equal hatred.

"Can I kill her?" Kankurou said.

"Not if I get to her first." Temari smirked, but neither of them left the path the crowd had made. They knew their priorities. Destroy Konoha first, and then destroy Giia. Either way, they got to destroy things.

The trip to Konoha was long and tiring, but when they arrived, Temari wasn't disappointed. The scenery was breath taking. All the trees and vegetation. It was beautiful. But what really made Temari think ill of Konoha were the townsfolk. They weren't even there an hour, and some idiot with yellow hair showed up and started screaming at them. Then some hot guy appeared in the tree, and some stupid girl with pink hair had the nerve to tell them they have no right to be here. Seriously. Konoha people aren't very nice.

* * *

 **Three Days Later in The Hidden Sand**

Hiniku slipped quietly out of Daagana's house. It was barely three a.m. and Daagana had been gone for almost three days. Hiniku slung the bag of supplies over her shoulder. Sure, she knew were Daagana was, but she knew not to go and bother her. She had seen the determination in her eyes.

 _"Where are you going, Gana?" Hiniku asked her as she walked out the back door of the ramen shop._

 _"I'm going to train." She said, and stood up straighter. Hiniku rolled her eyes and mock laughed._

 _"Nice one." But Daagana's face didn't change. It remained sullen and serious. Hiniku's smile faded, and she looked at the ground. "Do you want to talk about it?"_

 _"No." She answered. "Just...tell Ojiisan I'm sick or something."_

 _"He's going to get suspicious one of these days, Gana. Because you're sick so often..." She frowned, but Daagana only shook her head._

Hiniku trudged to the western gate and passed through. Out side the western gate was the Suna Cemetary, where the identical sand stone place markers glided around the length of the village wall and then swirled back in endless row after row. With practiced grace, Hiniku found one of the oldest graves, that of Lady Keiro, a midwife from the warring states period. It had been Hiniku who told Daagana the story of Lady Keiro and how she delivered all the babies in Suna for a whole year and they all came out with blue eyed, a unique trait in the desert. It was on her grave that Hiniku buried the bag of supplies.

"Be safe Gana." She whispered, and started to head back.

Once she was back in the village, she shoved her hands into her apron and hummed angry to herself. Every time, she scolded herself silently. Every time she vowed it will be the last, and every time, she still took the bag anyway. It was the guilt...

Hiniku never actually wanted to be a medic nin. If anything she wanted to be the best fighter there was. She wanted to be the hero and fight the good fight! Right alongside...her best friend. If only Daagana would fight. Hiniku knew she wouldn't, she had already begged her. But Daagana was afraid...afraid that Giia would be disgusted, or that others would find out what really happened that night, seven years ago.

When Daagana was young her mother used to have a boyfriend for every day of the week. Daagana didn't really understand it, she was probably not even five, but that never stopped Giia from showing her off to all her lovers. She was like her prized jewel, something to be adorned and showed off. Her mother took care of her if only to make sure her cheeks were rosey and cute for when they would get pinched and adored over. When the faithful day came that one of the men said that Daagana would be beautiful when she got older, Giia decided that her little trophy wasn't worth anything anymore.

She brought little Daagana into her room and shut the door. No one ever found out what exactly happened in there, only that the next day when Daagana woke up and went to see her mother, Giia fell into a pit of hysteria. Apparently Daagana waking up wasn't part of her plan. There were small clues here and there: the scar on her arm, the stab mark in their table. It was a time of great confusion for the little girl. Her mother could barely look at her one moment, and then couldn't let go of her the next. Giia muttered and raved, like she lost touch with the world and little Daagana didn't know what to do.

When she was eight, Daagana found a scroll in her mother's room, written in a frighteningly scrawly hand. From her time in the academy, she knew it was a Jutsu, but when she took it to her academy teacher to inquire further, her teacher panicked. It occured to Daagana that it was the same sort of fit her mother had had years ago, on the night she couldn't remember, but she didn't say anything.

The scroll was a recreation of the 'Jun Chi Noroi', or the Obedient Blood Curse. Its side effects were simple: Death. No one had ever survived, but somehow, Daagana had. When it all came down to it, whether Giia had performed the ritual wrong or it was all a stroke of fate, the impending Charka had wrought havoc on Daagana's soul. Not long after entering the academy, things began to happen to her, things no one could explain. According to anyone who was present, it was like the girl was haunted. Chairs upped and smashed themselves against the walls when she was near, or things would go missing and be found in the strangest of places. The instructor blamed Daagana for it all and rebuked her harshly. It only fueled the fire for the beatings she would receive at home for not doing well. In the end, it was a large reason why she left the academy.

Daagana told Hiniku all this after sharing a bottle of Shoju they found in her Ojiisan's stash one night. Hiniku had been horrified, and mystified at the same time.

When Daagana first came to the ramen shop, she was shy and apologetic. She took every little correction as a mortal failure and it took a very long time for her to understand that no one was going to kick her out for not getting everything right the first time. Hiniku immediately started to think of her as her sister, or at least best friends. Ever since her parents had died and she moved in with her grandfather, she'd been lonely. Daagana seemed to be her meal ticket to happiness.

Then, one day she came to the shop and told Hiniku that she was going somewhere. When Hiniku asked if she could come, Daagana authoritatively said 'No'. It was so out of character that Hiniku just had to follow. She trailed her friend all the way out into the open desert, and to the canyons beyond. There, she watched Daagana emit _black_...there was really no other way to describe it. It was sheer darkness...shadows, and Daagana was there creator, although she was no master. They controlled her. Hiniku was frightened, and ran all the way back to the ramen shop. Daagana didn't come back for two days, and Hiniku began to worry. So, she packed a bag of food, water, and clothes and bravely went back. She couldn't bring herself to face Daagana, so she ended up just throwing the bag over the rise and booking it back to the village.

Daagana came back the following morning with a weariness in her features.

"The bag...was it from you?" She'd asked. Hiniku tried her best to play it cool, saying,

"Well yeah, dummy. Who else would it be?" and she was proud that she could hide the tremor in her voice so well.

"How did you...Did you-Did you see anything?" Daagana inquired desperately, and Hiniku made the conscious choice...to lie.

"I saw you sleeping on the rocks and being eaten alive by sand burrs. If that's how you wanna spend your weekends, Gana, that's fine by me, but you could be a little less cryptic about it next time." And before she knew what was happening, Daagana had thrown her arms around her and squeezed.

Since then Hiniku had been doing the same thing, every time.

Every damn time.

It had been years and she told herself that she had to tell Daagana the truth, but every time she went out, Hiniku couldn't find the words. Sometimes, she would go and watch Daagana train, even though she didn't know Hiniku was there. Secretly, she hoped Daagana would spot her and then there would be no avoiding the conversation, but she always ducked away out of sight.

Daagana's power was immense and she was scared of it, which was why she worked in the desert, where no one could see her, and no one could get hurt. But still, she had no proper training, and one of these days, something would happen and she would be unleashed on unsuspecting people. It was Hiniku's duty as a (soon to be) Shinobi to take charge of this matter before it escalated!

But she still took the bag every time...and she ran all the way back home.


	4. The Viper, the Flower and the Carcass

**The Viper, the Flower, and the Carcass**

"What are you looking at?" Temari snapped at Kankurou. It was day eleven in the plan to destroy Konoha and Temari was about to snap Kankurou's neck. Right in two! After Phase I and II of the exams, the siblings and their Sensei were holed up in an apartment provided for them by Konoha to wait out the month it would take for the Phase III to begin.

"Am I not allowed to look around?" Kankurou shot back snobbishly.

"That's it!" Temari stood, knocking the chair out from under her. "You and me. Right here, right now." Kankurou also stood, and met her challenged.

"Anytime, anywhere." He sniggered. Temari nearly face palmed.

"You idiot. I just said the place and time."

"Oh..." Kankurou said and looked around a bit. "I knew that." He cleared his throat.

"Stop bickering, you two. You have to be here another three weeks." Baki silenced them. Temari snorted and started to storm off, but momentarily turned back.

"When he dies in combat," She hissed at Baki. "Don't think any enemy killed him." And she slammed the door behind her.

"Sheesh." Kankurou sat back down. "What's her problem?"

"You." Baki answered as he stood, politely pushed in his chair, and retreated to the back room.

"Why is everyone walking away from me?" Kankurou asked innocently.

* * *

Hiniku snuck around the back of Daagana's house, ready to get her a new bag of supplies. She was just a hair shy of opening the door when she heard voices.

"My dear Giia," A male voice lulled. Hiniku cracked the door the tiniest bit, catching a glimpse of the back of a white robe and Giia on the other side of the room. That was weird, Giia shouldn't be at home this time of day. It was almost Happy Hour on Bar street. Surely she wasn't going to miss it. "Won't you accompany me to Konoha? Their destruction could use your...unique abilities." The man said, trailing a finger up Giia's arm. Hiniku sneered. Who in the world was feeding Giia these pathetic and untrue compliments?

"Kazekage-sama, I would be honored, but, you know it will take quite a long time to journey to Konoha, and I would be lonely. Perhaps you and I can share a-"

"Yes, of course." He answered, and advanced towards her.

Hiniku's eyes got very wide as the sight of the Kazekage's head came into view. Pitch-black hair spilled down to his middle back and that exploring hand was white as death. Hiniku stumbled back slightly and tripped over a a crumbling piece of wall. It fell over and smashed into oblivion.

"What was that?" Giia sounded from inside. The door flew open and the man in the Kazekage's dress glared at her. His skin was not white, but gray, and his eyes reminded Hiniku of a snake. His face twisted into a demented smile as he put down his guard.

"Giia, is this your daughter?" His voice...it sent shivers down Hiniku's spine. Giia appeared beside him, wearing next to nothing.

"No." She sneered. "It's that filthy ramen rat." Hiniku knew she has been caught red-handed, but that didn't mean she had to be caught for the right reason.

"Yes," She put on a fake smile. "I'm very sorry about the wall." She said and gestured towards the pieces. "I was just looking for Daagana. Her shift started ten minutes ago and she hasn't shown up." Hiniku lied. She may be just a medical ninja, but that didn't mean she wasn't as quick on her feet as a field ninja.

"So fire her for all I care. Get off my property." Giia waved her hand at her. Hiniku did so quickly, cursing Giia, before she broke out into a run at the street. In every medical textbook she had ever read, there was always a picture of the Kazekage on the back page and that man...was not the Kazekage!

Hiniku didn't know what to do. Was she supposed to report it? But who would believe her? A girl like her going against the Kazekage. And for all she knew, he could have been using a Jutsu. Who knew what kind of twisted things Giia liked?

So she didn't tell anyone...and the next day Giia and the fake Kazekage left for Konoha. Of course the fact that Giia was leaving was enough to boost anyone's spirits. Right after they left, Hiniku went to tell Daagana. She packed a bag, to make up for yesterday's miss and wrote her a short, but sweet message: _'Giia's Gone.'_

* * *

 **Next Day**

"Hiniku!" I called as I ran down the road towards her house. She popped her head out her window and smiled at me.

"You got my message?"

"Why else do you think I'm here?" I laughed. "Where did she go?" Hiniku's smile sort of turned into an apologetic grimace. "What?" I said quickly.

"Hurry and come inside." She said. I advanced towards the door, and she met me there, pulling me into the living room and down onto a pile of cushions.

"Hiniku, this is no time for a story."

"Yes. This is the perfect time," She said, completely serious. "But it's not about my mother, it's about yours." I cocked my head at her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked nervously.

"When I was going to get your clothes yesterday, Giia was at your house."

"Yeah...so?"

"She wasn't alone. The Kazekage was with her."

"I know she's with the Kazekage. I have no idea how but—"

" _Listen_ to me. I know what the Kazekage looks like, Gana. From all the books I've read. And the man who was with your mom...wasn't the Kazekage." There was a long pause before either of us spoke.

"So what are you saying?" I asked.

"…he wasn't—"

"Are you saying someone is impersonating the Kazekage?" I whispered. As if she had lost the ability to speak, she nodded her head.

"The man was...he scared me. Just by looking at him...I felt...weak."

I was startled to hear her say such a thing. Hiniku was stubborn and most of all proud. Her saying she felt weak, was like saying Gaara wanted to skip around and sing the love song. It didn't happen.

"Hiniku...didn't you do anything? Report it?"

"I was scared. I didn't think anyone would believe me." I didn't know what to say after that. I was a true Hidden Sand villager...but I didn't truly hold my allegiance to the Kazekage. I didn't know him well enough to trust him...all I knew were the rumors, of how he tried to kill his own son. But with someone impersonating the Kazekage...that person could do a lot of damage...and I didn't even know if his intentions were good or not. A better question was how long had he been in office? How long had the real Kazekage been gone? _Was_ the real Kazekage even gone?

My head began to spin with questions, and none of them I could voice. Hiniku was already in a state of panic.

"I need to go back out and-"

"No! Please, Gana. You were out there for almost a week! I can't stand it anymore." She said and grabbed my hand. Then an unlikely thought popped into my head.

"Did that boy ever come back?" She looked at me like I was crazy.

"What boy?"

"They boy who wanted to ask you out. Did he ever?" I saw her head jerk up.

"A boy...wanted to ask me out?" She asked, as if it's never happened before. Which, is because it hadn't.

"Yes," I assured her. "He was tall, and had curly red hair. He had like a zillion freckles-"

"Oh..." Her eyes got really big. "Kanman..."

"Huh?" I asked.

"His name is Aoi Kanman. He's a really strong ninja. He was almost chosen to go to the Chuunin exams!" She said, getting giddier with every word. "And he wanted to ask me out!" She cried, jumping up and hopping around. "Me!" She screamed. While she was occupied with herself, I took the chance to slip away. If the village was in danger, I needed to be ready.

* * *

 **TWO WEEKS LATER**

Hiniku convinced me to come back. Yesterday she left me nothing but a note that said _'Come home'_ and didn't bother to leave any food. Stubborn little girl. Though it would seem while I was gone she went and talked with Kanman. Wherever she was these days, he was right behind her...a bit to close behind for my taste. Today was no different. She was teaching him how to knead dough into noodles, while I sat at the bar...and sulked. I came back just to be with her, and now I was a third wheel. I sighed. I could always use more training.

"Maybe your real color is green." Ojiisan chuckled as came and sat down beside me. "Don't take it to heart, my sabaku no hana. She don't know what she doin'. Boys are a new thing." He said and put his arm around me.

"She always said that love would come and rescue me first." I blurted sadly. "I guess it forgot."

"Now you stop right there." He said sternly. "There ain't no way love could pass up such an opportunity. It's just waitn'. It may be him, or it may be him. We got no way of knowin'. But it'll come, I can guarantee dat." He said and squeezed my shoulder.

"Daagana! Will you come help him? He's a loser and can't even roll noodles." Hiniku leaned over the counter. My Ojiisan's words echoed from my mind all the way down to me heart.

"Yeah. Yeah I will." I smiled, and got up to help.

 **ONE WEEK LATER**

I rested my head on my arms. My neck was stiff from standing all day, and making noodles. There was a window seat in my room that served as my perch. It wasn't really my window or my room, but I had my own room in Hiniku's house. When I bought something that I knew for a fact Giia would take away, I kept it here. The shelves were stacked with books, and pictures. With the money Giia didn't take away, I bought things that I wanted. Not things I needed. I had made a habit of it. A lot of them were medical books Hiniku had ordered me not to buy for her, but I did anyway. I knew she didn't want to be a medical ninja, I could see it in her eyes, but she was so eager to help me, that I couldn't tell her 'no'. There was a bottle of perfume I bought for Giia but then kept for myself. It remained on the ledge, unopened. My kunai pouch was up there as well, along with the rubber shuriken they gave us in the academy. Sometimes, if I'm feeling especially nostalgic, I'll take it down and practice throwing it at a pretend intruder. I never let Hiniku catch me though, because her face always falls so dramatically.

It seems that neither of us are following our dreams. I glanced back up at the moon with a lament. It was a half-moon tonight. Not as pretty as a full or crescent, but it was still the moon.

"What are you looking at?" I accused it. The wind blew across my window and whistled the moon's response. "Do you think love is going to come for me?" The wind whipped by a little stronger and I laughed as goose bumps rose up on my arm. The wind drew back to where even the faintest breeze couldn't be felt. "But who? Who would love me?" I asked. Suddenly, the wind blew so strong that sand blew into my room. It stung at my eyes, and got into my nose and mouth, making me cough and sputter. "What was that supposed to mean?" I cried, and slammed my window door shut.

 **Next Day**

I quietly walked down the streets of my village. Secretly my ears were wide open, hoping to catch any piece of news there was to hear. I knew for a fact that today was the start of Phase III in the Chuunin exams, and I was eager to hear any updates.

* * *

Temari stood beside her two brothers. All in shock. Though Gaara didn't show it, and Kankurou didn't sound it, Temari shared their pain. He may not have been any kind of good, and he was even worse as a father...but he was _still_ their father.

Baki stood beside them, all notions of loyalty eradicated. Any Suna ninja that had survived the raid had retreated back to the safety of the desert beyond the Land of Rivers. Waiting for them there was an ambush of Oto Shinobi! Temari, her brothers, and Baki had fled from the battle, and as they ran, they happened upon the body of the real Kazekage, decaying in a small hole in the ground. Baki was disgusted that they had been fooled for so long, fooled enough to go against their allies. It tore his pride in two to think about it. He doubted that the alliance with the Hidden Leaf would ever be forged again.

"We should go." Baki said quietly. Around them, remaining Shinobi fidgeted on the perimeter, weary of an attack. Temari looked over at her Sensei with a face of stone.

"What about the body?"

"Leave it." Baki answered.

* * *

 **Next Day**

My hands felt clunky and numb as I pushed and pulled the dough. Though they were working in the now, my mind was far away; so far that I accidentally rubbed a noodle right in half. With an irritated grunt, I slapped a fresh wad of dough down on my board and started to tear off new pieces.

"Stop right der' missy." My ojiisan chided as he came around the bar and grabbed my hands. "You cain't role dem' noodles without chour' mind in it. You ain't all here, so we gonna sit and wait till you are." He pulled me over to the other side of the counter, and we sat...just sat. He would look at me from time to time, while I thought of Temari and Giia. Were they alright? Had they made the trip safely? Did Temari advance? Who was she paired up against? Will Giia have married the Kazekage by the time she got back? She did like to work fast. Then the more disturbing, was that man the actual Kazekage, or was my mother two timing with the most powerful man in the village? When a lonely costumer would come in, Ojiisan would serve them and then come and sit back down beside me. He did this often for us girls, never pushing us to talk about what was going on, but always being willing to listen if we were feeling up to it. It was sheer luck that I had him in my life. Perhaps it was his love that the sacred ramen bar had blessed me with.

Abruptly pulling me from my thoughts, someone began to shout. God knows what they were saying, but as people joined in, I heard two things clearly. _"They're back!"_

I tore out of the ramen shop and careened into the crowd of people heading towards the village entrance. As we neared the gate I could make out four silhouettes coming along the horizon. People were running, but I was fasted as I bolted straight for the blond pigtails.

Gaara walked slowly...his mind was so burnt out, it barley processed the fact that someone was running towards them. It was only when Temari shouted "Daagana!" did he look up and at me rushing to them. Firstly I flung my arms around Temari, and squeezed.

"You're finally back!" I cried happily. Then I broke away and went...for him. I grabbed his middle and hugged with all my might. "You're alright!"

No one...No one had ever said that to him before. No one had ever cared to see if he was all right or not. He felt like he couldn't breathe, as if something was gripping his heart. He came to the conclusion that the yellow-haired clown was right. Fighting for yourself could only get you so far, but when you had something to fight for...it installed a drive in you that nothing could replace. Gaara's desire to live now meant nothing to him. His new desire was that his family would live.

I don't know why I wasn't terrified that I was touching him, but I felt like something had changed. He was banged up pretty bad, same as Temari and Kankurou. He didn't hug me back and I didn't mind, but after the moment passed, I detached and flung myself at Kankurou.

"Can I hug you? I'm hugging you!" He caught me regardless and spun me around, laughing. Things would be okay now. They were back. Only a few ninja managed to scramble in behind them and a somber mood floated around. News of the real Kazekage's death followed shortly behind my sand nin, but I ignored it. Things would be okay now.

Giia was not among those who had returned. That was not okay.


	5. I Don't Wanna Set the World On Fire

**I Don't Wanna Set the World On Fire**

"I'm so glad you're all safe." I said for the hundredth as I walked with them through the village. "You have to tell me all about it." I demanded. "Every detail." Temari smirked, and Kankurou laughed.

"It didn't exactly go as planned. We lost really. Well...Temari lost." Kankurou joked. Temari swiftly punched him on the head.

"I knew I should have killed you in battle!" She cried.

"Calm down." I laughed. I wanted to ask them what exactly they had lost, but from all the rumors floating around, something substantial had happened. "It's not like-"

"Gana!" I turned around at my name as Hiniku came running up. When she reached us she put her hands on her legs and panted.

"I've been running...all over the village...looking for you." She panted.

"What is it?" I asked. She paused and stood up straight.

"Giia...came with another...group of shinobi through...the southern gate."

I let out a sigh of relief that I noticed made everyone mad, but I was glad my mother was okay. On the other hand, Giia probably wasn't the happiest camper, now that everyone knew that the Kazekage was dead. Personally, I think a punching bag had more of a choice then I did when it came to being punched. I looked at everyone, then down the road towards the southern gate. What choice did I have?

Temari was the first to notice that I was weighing my options, but when I looked back at her, ready to apologize for leaving early, she halted me.

"Oh, No. You are _not_ going to see her." Temari ordered.

"But-"

"No." Temari dismissed all choices. "You're staying with us until I can get you out of that house. I've lost enough people already..." She mumbled the last part so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

"Really?" Hiniku screamed. It startled the people around us on the street and I had to motion for her to tone it down a notch. I wasn't sure about it though. What kind of daughter would I be if I didn't go to check on her? She'd just lost the love of her life? All that pent up anger and loss, she needed somebody to talk to!

"I'm not giving you a choice, Daagana." Temari growled and grabbed my hand. "You're coming whether you want to or not."

"And I don't see why you wouldn't want to." Hiniku added, her eyes huge and sparkly at the prospect of spending the night in the North Quarter. I knew for a fact that I couldn't escape Temari's iron grip, so...I guess, in the end the only other option was...

" _Fine_." I swallowed. As much as it even pained me to think it, I didn't want to have to tend a wound tonight. I wanted to spend time with my friends, not nurse a busted lip. If I wasn't going tonight, I would go tomorrow, I decided. I could please both parties.

"Good girl." Temari patted my head playfully.

"Hiniku! Gana! Get back er'! We got customers!" Hiniku and I both jumped at the sound of our names being yelled by Ojiisan.

"Gotta go!" Hiniku said, grabbed my arm, and started to drag me away.

* * *

 **That Night**

Temari paced her living room floor, and had been for the past hour. _'Where is Daagana?'_ Hiniku sat awkwardly on the soft couch. She didn't know whether to rub the couch's expensive leather or sit passively while Temari stalked. But, she could barley sit still. Temari had eventually asked Hiniku if she wanted to stay the night as well, and Hiniku saw her life flash before her eyes. Although Temari made sure to point out the fact that it was just for one night.

"What do you think is keeping her?" Temari asked.

"Hmm, hard question." Kankurou returned, indicating that her question was a stupid one. He was sitting on the fire place, icing an elbow. After the adrenaline runs out, all the aches and pains come back. Temari could relate. But he looked so young, sitting there with no hat or make up. He looked like a normal boy, not the deadly weapon he was.

Not a boy who'd just committed treason with his siblings.

"Giia." Temari nodded. "You told her to be here at six, right?" Temari asked Hiniku and checked the clock on the wall.

"Well..." Hiniku mumbled, staring down at her hands.

"Well what?" Kankurou said menacingly.

"When Gana spends the night at my house, we say meet at six, but what we really mean is...whenever she can get away from Giia. We really don't specify a time. It's more of a sarcastic tradition than a set-" Hiniku huddled down in the soft couch as Temari's head started to spin.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THIS BEFORE!?" She screamed.

" _Fire_." The three of them stopped what they were doing and looked up to the balcony of the house where Gaara stood. He had changed and bathed, but he still had that troubled looked on his face that they had found him with in the forest.

"What?" Temari asked.

"Fire. Something's on fire...in the village." He said.

"She wouldn't!" Hiniku exclaimed.

"I bet you she did!" Kankurou said, and all four of them sprinted out of the mansion towards 'Poor Side'. Halfway there they found a water line. Villagers were passing buckets of water down the line to try and put out the fire.

"Why aren't they using water Jutsu?" Hiniku cried.

"Because it's 'Poor Side'. There's no water anywhere close." Temari informed her.

"What about your fan?" She motioned to Temari's back frantically.

"Only if you want it to spread." She bit back. The four of them raced towards the front of the line where the the fire was largest. And there, near the wall of flames, was Giia, standing beside Baki, crying her heart out. Temari heard herself hiss. Such a feral thing to escape her mouth, but she had already witnessed enough fire and blood in Konoha. The last thing she ever wanted was to come home to it!

"She's crying, but not because she's sad..." Hiniku said. "It's because she's laughing."

"You three! Get up here!" Baki shouted at them. The three sand-nin started forward and Hiniku followed.

"The woman claims her daughter is still inside."

"Of course, she is! Because you probably trapped her in there!" Hiniku roared! She charged full speed at Giia, but right before she could strangle the living day lights out of the woman, she was suddenly caught up in sand. It weighted down her arms and legs.

"Let me go! I'm going to kill her!" Hiniku screamed back at Gaara.

"Do it elsewhere. There are too many witnesses." He said and pulled her back to stand by them. Temari had never seen him use his sand in such a manner. She thought surely Hiniku had just perished. Her life-gone in an instant. But Gaara had _reasoned_ with her instead. Something had happened in the forest! Something major!

 **Half an Hour Later**

The village fought the fire almost all night. Predawn light revealed what was left of the houses, which was very little. The fire had spread all the way down the street, and almost sixteen homes were ashes. The villagers that didn't have to mourn left to tend to those who did. Giia sat across the street with some of the other women who had lost everything and wailed, while Hiniku ran through the ruins digging in the blackness...searching.

"Please, Hiniku." Temari said tiredly. "Just stop." Hiniku angrily sent a burnt shoe clattering at Temari's feet.

"You don't know anything about her! She's not gone!" She declared and kept digging. Kankurou looked over at Temari with a blank expression, one she knew he reserved for funerals and chick flicks.

"I think we should-"

"Ah!" Hiniku cried. Temari's head perked up, and Kankurou held his tongue. None of them could see Hiniku; she stood behind a half fallen wall that was once Giia's closet.

"Gaara! I need your help!" They heard, and both siblings looked over at him.

"Please..." Temari dared to say. Never in her life had she pleaded with him. Mainly because she knew it was futile, he would never sacrifice for another human life. But for some reason, she let the plea slip and he was nodding and starting forward into the ashes. Kankurou's jaw went slack as he watched his little brother accept a request for help. He wasn't sure which shocked him more, that Hiniku had asked so brazenly, or that Temari had asked at all.

"There you are." Hiniku said when Gaara had made his way to her. She didn't share village's fear of this boy. Perhaps it was because she didn't believe the rumors, or she was just too stubborn to admit she could be beaten, but either way, she looked him dead in the eyes and didn't back down from his now innocent demeanor. Gaara looked around on the ground, but didn't see anything the resembled a body.

"Where is the corpse?" He asked hauntingly.

"I told you. She's not dead." Hiniku said and walked over to the corner of the wall. "Look." She pointed. Gaara walked forward but didn't see anything...but black. Unusual Black. Chakra Black.

"What is this?" He muttered.

"It's Gana's power." Hiniku said quietly. "Can you put up a wall? I don't want anyone to see." Gaara glared down at her, but soon the sand was flowing and a wall was encircling them, blocking off the view. When they couldn't be seen, Hiniku went to work on the beam and bookcase that had wedged its self on top of Daagana's hiding place. When she got the beam off, Gaara could clearly see the outline of a body.

"She really is alive." He breathed.

"She wouldn't die this easily. After all that training, I'm surprised that she didn't just put out the fire." Gaara looked over at Hiniku, who had almost gotten the bookcase off.

"Training?" He asked.

"Duh." She said back to him. "While you guys were off at the exams, she was gone for weeks at a time." Hiniku pushed the case aside, and the smudge of black was clearly visible. It looked like a cloud of darkness had consumed the corner. Unlike the char marks and burnt edges of the house, this darkness was made of shadows.

"Daagana." Hiniku said, and with a ' _pop_ ', the miasma of darkness sizzled away, revealing Daagana's body. She had bruises and cuts, but no burns. "Of course." Hiniku smirked. "She's unconscious. I guess you didn't figure out how to ventilate your little bubble, now did you Gana?" Hiniku teased as she took her friend's limp hand and pulled her forward. Before she could load Daagana onto her back, light sand lifted her out of Hiniku's hands and placed her in Gaara's arms.

"I am stronger." Was all he said, and Hiniku didn't comment. As the wall of sand fell, a hot wind blew past them and the aftermath of the fires was evident once more.

"Daagana!" Temari cried, and ran to them.

Hiniku paid close attention to Giia's reaction when she saw that her daughter was all right. From across the street, her eyes grew large and a snarl played on her lips. They were both quickly replaced with mock relief when she sprang up and tried to get to her daughter. Kankurou stepped in her path, though, and two other Shinobi followed suit, forcing Giia back.

"We found her under a bookcase." Hiniku called to her. "She's perfectly fine. Not one scratch." She noted with pleasure that Giia's face turned bright red.

Baki was not a stupid man, and though she tried to hide it, he could see the contempt on Giia's face as she was backed away from the charred building. Tiredly, he joined the Shinobi before her and addressed her as formerly as possible.

"Ma'am, we will need you to come with us."

"Why?" Giia cracked, tearing her eyes away from her daughter.

"This is your residence, correct?" He asked.

"Y-Yes."

"Well, according to our preliminary report, this is the ignition site. We'll need to take your full statement in regards to what happened and how the fire was started." The two ninja went to stand on either side of her and proceeded to lead her away.

"I want that to be how every day ends." Hiniku grinned and Temari nodded in agreement as they, Kankurou and Gaara, who was still carrying Daagana, walked north in the morning light.

* * *

Upon entering the Kazekage mansion, Gaara broke off from the others and carried Daagana upstairs into a bedroom. Temari's eyes followed him and widened.

"Yashamaru's old room." She said surprised.

"Yashamaru?" Hiniku asked.

Gaara placed her on the unused mattress. She stirred slightly. It was like she was sleeping, something he knew very little about. But now that he had put her down...what was he supposed to do? He made himself a chair of sand and settled down to wait. He wasn't sure what he was doing…He just remembered that when Lee was in the hospital, Naruto and Shikamaru were there to watch over him, and it seemed like something that was supposed to be done.

"Oh..." Hiniku said quietly.

Temari and Kankurou retold the tale of Yashamaru and his attempted assassination of Gaara, leaving out parts here and there that were too personal to confess. Yashamaru was their uncle, their mother's brother, and the sibling's father had put him in charge of Gaara at a young age. He seemed to be the only one who could calm Gaara when the Shukaku threatened to overtake him. But, try as he might, bitterness over took him and he blamed Gaara for the death of his sister. So when the Kazekage ordered Yashamaru to kill Gaara for being too dangerous, he agreed, and Gaara ended up killing him instead. He killed the only person he had ever loved, the only one who had ever shown him any affection at all. That was why ' _love_ ' was imprinted on his forehead. Because love was so important, and so unnecessary.

"But...he loved him." Hiniku said quietly.

"He pretended he did. Worse yet, Gaara was blamed for his death even though Yashamaru clearly committed suicide." Kankurou said.

"But why does everyone hate him so much? It wasn't his choice to have Shukaku!"

"You're right. It wasn't. It was our fathers, and now he's dead." Temari looked off to the side blankly. It wasn't as hard to say out loud as she thought it was.

"They're so much a like..." Hiniku added.

"Who?" Kankurou asked.

"Gana and Gaara."

You know how, when you first fall out of dreaming, the first things you know to be real are all your edges, where you end? The first thing I felt when waking up was that my head hurt, my heart hurt, and that it hurt to breath. Perhaps that's what happens when you inhale that much smoke. I should have really learn how to filter air in and out of my bubble. Next to come were all my fingers and toes, which I was mildly supervised I still had. Hiniku once told me that when parts of the body go without oxygen for too long, they have to be amputated. I wiggled my fingers and toes and found all twenty were still attached and I was, in fact, not dead. A croak escaped my throat and my ears alerted me to a shuffle beside me. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, was another pair staring right back at me.

"Gaara?" His face was smeared with soot that matched the dark circles around his eyes. The same eyes that were staring at me. And I don't know why...it just...overwhelmed me. Someone came and rescued me. The ceiling above me was not my own, and the mattress under me was soft. Someone delivered me from the furnace I'd found myself in and they even stayed by my side to see if was all right. I couldn't help but show the emotion that was flooding through my body. Tears spilled down my face and a hiccup burned my throat. I saw him stumble back slightly, probably totally caught off guard by my sudden outburst, but the only thought that went through my head was _'please don't go'_. Painfully, I leaned up and threw my arms around him. Half falling, half hugging. I buried my face into his shoulder, and sobbed.

"Thank you..." My words sounded muffled when I voiced them in his shirt. "You saved my life." I didn't know if he could even hear me...

* * *

Oh, he could hear her. He could hear everything: Her breathing, her heartbeat, her words...But he couldn't move. The moment was too precious to spend it on moving. He had to savor it...thinking it would be his last. His arms, though, did not agree with his mind. Instead they listened to his fast-beating heart and very lightly draped themselves around her like a blanket, intending to protect her forever. Not really sure if that was what he was supposed to do or not. At first, he thought the very sight of him had scared her to tears and he wasn't sure he knew how to cope with that. Agony had filled his stomach, and the fleeting ' _what did I do to make her cry_ ' bounded in his head, but this...he was still too shocked to function that someone was embracing him—willingly.

"Don't leave me here alone..." Daagana half whispered, half begged. Gaara very carefully placed a hand on her head and nodded into her hair. And so they sat on the floor in Yashamaru's old room while he cradled her in his arms.


	6. The Fire Rabbit

**The Fire Rabbit**

I spent the month at the mansion. Partly because Temari told me Giia was the one who started the fire and I didn't know what to think, and partly because she wasn't going to let me leave anyway. I slept in a room Temari told me belonged to a Yashamaru. I knew the name. He was a relatively famous medical nin that operated when I was younger. I would go as far as to suppose he probably treated my injuries as a child, but I didn't know about his affiliation with Gaara. I woke up before the sun and stared at the picture on the bed side table. It was old and had a coat of dust, but I recognized the cheek bones and dirty blond hair. It was their mother, and she stared at me…all night long.

Not long after my sand nin came home, a delegate from the Hidden Leaf come with a platoon of Shinobi. According to Temari, the Sand village signed an unconditional surrender, claiming that the man Hiniku saw in my house, Orochimaru, had tricked them into attacking their allies. And it was true. Every time someone mentioned the failed attack, anyone in the sand village bent in shame. We had prided ourselves in being a strong independent people, braving the desert and producing some of the strongest Shinobi in the world…yet we had been fooled.

I met with Gaara often during that time, when he wasn't busy with the ambassadors or briefs or other ninja business. There was never a whole lot of talking and at first it was awkward, until I figured out he just didn't know what to say. In the meantime, Temari and Kankurou told me all the stories from the exams, about all the special and crazy Jutsu that they had witnessed. Gaara spoke especially of a Lee and a Naruto. When he told me about the blond boy, I had cracked a joke about putting extra natrutomaki in his ramen the next time he came by, but...he had no idea what I was talking about.

* * *

One evening, I was working at the ramen bar, rolling out noodles for a busier rush than usual, when all of the sudden it sounded like all the air had been sucked out of the room. It went completely dead silent and when I turned around, Gaara was standing in my dining room, his arms crossed, staring at the people who were staring at him. At first, I wanted to yell at them. Smack them all on the head with my spatula. They were still afraid of him!

"Gaara," I smiled. His eyes found mine and softened. "Would you like some ramen?" Some of the customers looked at me like I was crazy, how dare I ask Sabaku no Gaara if he wanted ramen? But Gaara just nodded and proceeded to sit on a stool at the bar. I quickly made him a bowl of BBQ pork ramen and put an extra fish cake on the side as a nice touch (hoping now he would get my joke). I placed it in front of him and handed him some chop sticks. He took them almost hesitantly and stared at the bowl like it was an opponent and was going to attack him any second. I stifled a giggle.

"Gaara," I laughed, his head shot up, "Ramen doesn't bite back. Eat it already." Quietly, he pulled the chop sticks apart and used them to grab a few noodles and eat them. The deathly silence that had encased the ramen bar before began to dissipate as people seemed satisfied that he wouldn't kill them any second. They began to talk and continue to drink and soon, no one noticed Gaara of the sand eating his BBQ pork ramen.

"Hey! He started without us!" Kankurou came rushing in and threw himself at the stool next to his brother. "Daagana! Can I get a miso ramen with extra egg?"

"Hokkido style for me." Temari ordered tiredly. I laughed as Kankurou patted his stomach in anticipation. Turning back around, I started to make their order when suddenly, there was another loud gasp through the restaurant. I spun and saw Kankurou's arm encased in sand, hovering over Gaara's ramen bowl.

"Oh come on Gaara! Just a little bite!" He squeaked, dropping a fish cake. There would be no admitting that I was afraid for Kankurou's arm, because ever since the exams, Gaara had not shown one sign of aggression towards anything, so I let out a quick breath before going over and smacking Kankurou's hand after it had been released.

"Leave his ramen alone. You'll get your own. Or did you not want to keep that arm?" I scolded. Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw Gaara completely freeze, a bitten fish cake between his chop sticks. His eyes looked so confused that I didn't know what to do. Maybe this was all too much, too soon!

"Gaara, are you—" and before I could finish the sentence, he devoured the whole thing. Kankurou burst into laughter.

"I don't think he's ever had a fish cake before!" Gaara ignored us both, like nothing had happened as we both laughed at his reaction to a food he loved.

* * *

 **ONE WEEK LATER**

It was the beginnings of the Oasis festival, the busiest time of the year for the ramen shop, and Ojiisan had ordered extras of everything to prepare. I had rolled so much dough and was covered in so much flour that I looked like a ghost. So when Temari, Kankurou and Gaara came to the shop dressed in their festival best, I felt underwhelming. The thought that hit my mind first was that I hadn't seen Giia in weeks. She hadn't come to the bar and I didn't know where she was living now that the house was burned down. I wondered if she had saved any of her clothes to wear to the festival…and I wondered if I would see her. I wondered if she looked beautiful. I didn't dare tell Temari…but I missed her.

"Oh come on Daagana! Don't tell me that old man has you working every day of the festival!" Kankurou shouted accusingly at Ojiisan who was wiping down tables. He looked up with a deadly gleam in his eye and Kankurou retreated behind Temari.

Instead of her usual 4 ponytails, her blond hair was pulled back in a high bun and her kimono was a dark purple with little eggshell fans on it. Her giant fan was still strapped to her back but she held a smaller fan in her hand. Just as deadly no doubt.

Kankurou's usual head covering was gone and his messy brown hair was sticking up everywhere. Someone must have stolen the Kabuki kit too because his face was clean and he looked like a completely different person. His robe was black with blue stripes, and he wore staunchly traditional wooden sandals.

Lastly, gone were Gaara's usual sashes and belts. He wore long black pants and a deep red long sleeve overcoat that matched the shade of his hair. On his left breast was the character for 'love' just like on his forehead, and his gourd slung on his back.

They all looked spectacular…and I was covered in flour.

I smiled nervously, and wrung my hands.

"Do you guys want some ramen before you go to the festival?" I asked and pulled out some bowls.

"Oh come on, Gana! Come with us!" Kankurou pleaded, but still sat down and broke some chop sticks. Expertly, I placed a bowl of miso ramen with extra egg in front of him and watch it get devoured.

"I can't." I answered with a smile. "I have to mind the shop. It's going to get very busy tonight." At that, Gaara seated himself beside Kankurou.

"Not you too!" Temari cried. Apparently this meant that Gaara was sitting to stay. Then from the back came a giggle and a thud, and Hiniku waltzed in with Kanman on her arm and not the other way around.

"Hey guys!" She greeted us louldy and dragged the shy red head behind the bar with us. Kanman caught sight of Gaara and paled considerably but Hiniku nipped that in the bud by introducing him to everyone.

"…and this, Kanman, is Gaara of the Desert, Gana's boyfriend."

"Hiniku!" I screeched. She looked so absolutely proud of herself before hiding behind Kanman and offering him as a sacrifice to my wrath.

And that was how I ended up going to the festival with my Sand nin and Hiniku and Kanman stayed and worked the ramen shop with Ojiisan. They let me run back to Hiniku's house and get some proper clothes first, though. I didn't have any festival clothes but Hiniku said I could borrow some of hers. Temari helped me pull my hair up into a ponytail and put a little lip gloss on my lips. In no time, I was dressed in a pink kimono with yellow swirls and a little silk bag that held my money. I wasn't used to having so much, since Giia hadn't been taking her allowance out each week. I was going to buy so many dongo balls!

Temari and Kankurou walked in front of me and Gaara. It was a relatively comfortable silence, so long as I didn't think about that embarrassing outburst Hiniku had at the bar. I shot a side glance at Gaara, who was walking with his arms crossed, his face blank as ever and I sighed. He probably hasn't noticed.

Kankurou wanted to play the ring toss and Temari spotted some friends at the tea shop, and suddenly, Gaara and I were alone, standing in the middle of the street. There were people coming from both directions but they parted as they passed us. It felt like we were an island in the middle of a river of angry stares. At least, I thought, they weren't frozen in fear. I wasn't sure if hot anger was better than paralyzing terror. Not for my sake, but for Gaara's, I searched for something to occupy our time. I doubted he would want to play any games, or drink tea with Temari's girlfriends, and we were both underage so we couldn't drink sake…Instantly, the thought of Gaara drunk pulled the giggles out of me and he eyed me like I had gone mad. Finally, I eyed an Ikayaki stand and thought, if Gaara loved fish cakes, who knows if he loves other fish as well. I smiled at him and tugged on his sleeve.

"Have you ever had squid before?" He shook his head, so I led him to the stall and ordered two fried squid on a stick from the old man behind the counter. He effectively ignored Gaara's presence and shot me glances that I ignored. Finally, we emerged with our stash and Gaara eyed his squid stick like it was something so completely foreign, even though it was a staple in Sand village cuisine. When he bit into it, his eyes grew wide and he froze like he did with the fish cake. It was apparent that Sabaku no Gaara loved seafood.

After that, Gaara steered me towards whatever stall he was curious about. Very subtly, of course. We would be walking in our pocket of space that people made for us and he would suddenly stop and stare at whatever stall was near. Apparently, this was the signal that he wanted to try it. He tended to gravitate towards seafood and fish related things until he made a grave mistake and stopped in front of a Taiyaki stand. Taiyaki is a fish shaped pasty with hot filling, usually red bean paste, custard, chocolate or cheese. Perhaps the fish shape of the dough had tricked him, but Gaara pointed to one, and the man bravely gave it to him, no questions asked. I thought nothing of it, because I love chocolate filled anything, and when Gaara bit into it he had his usual freeze reaction. But…this was not the same. The bite that he had taken was spit out and instantly, the fish in his hand was enveloped in sand and squished. Instead of blood seeping out…it was chocolate.

And I laughed so hard I cried.

Seafood-1/Chocolate-0

Later, we were sitting on a bench watching a fire breather blow dragons that swirled around the feet of happy children and made them squeal in delight. I was munching on a salted corn cob and Gaara was staring the man down, no doubt contemplating whatever jutsu he was using to conjure the animals.

* * *

The hairs on the back of Gaara's neck stood on end as he watched the man perform the simple fire transformation Jutsu. And as easy as it was, it brought such delight to the tiny humans running around it. The fire wasn't burning them, as was the Jutsus design, and they thought it was the spectacular. Little did they know what real burning felt like….and the screaming—

No.

Gaara shook his head. Not now…not with her right here. Daagana was chewing on the corn stick that he refused to put in his mouth after the pastry incident. It was apparent that even food could lie. He was watching her out of the corner of his eye when…

Something changed. Gaara tensed and scanned the horizon. Something, something, something was wrong. He felt the vibes of the Chakra before he could sense the actual bodies themselves. The first thought to pop into his head was another assassination attempt. But surely with his father dead…

The fire breather blew a rabbit that danced around the children's feet, a hop at a time.

Then…There!

* * *

Without any warning, Gaara disappeared in a rush of sand. I had to hold my arms up to shield myself or I would have been pushed off the bench. Blinking, I quickly looked around but he was nowhere to be seen. The rabbit made of fire was blown out from the whoosh of the sand and the children begged the breather for more, but he was just as confused as I was. I stood up and scanned my surroundings again, wondering why I was suddenly abandoned, when there was another whoosh and I quickly turned around to face an unknown crouched ninja. There would have been some major panicking if he had not had a sand Shinobi protector. He wore the typical ninja uniform of a Chuunin, along with a cloth covering all of his face but his eyes.

"Are you Daagana?" He said from his crouched position.

"Yes?" I said and clutched my purse in a death grip.

"Please come with me." He stood and held out his arm to me.

"Why? What's this about? Where's Gaara?" I asked and stared at his hand.

"I was instructed by Baki Sensei to get you to safety."

"Baki…sensei? Who is—" Before I could ask who Baki sensei was, the ninja leapt forward and took me into his arms. Suddenly, the ground was gone, and I felt all the air rush out of my lungs. I was being stretched and pulled in every direction, suspended in the air and vibrating, and then, just as quickly as it began, my feet slammed to the ground and the sand swooshed around us. I fell limp in the ninja's arms. We were in front of the ramen shop. He had teleported us half way across the village. I felt like I was about to throw up, as Hiniku rushed out and took me from the man, who bowed and disappeared again.

"Wai…what's happening?" I slurred as the world tilted to the side.


	7. How Old Are You?

**How Old Are You?**

At ten o'clock the next morning Temari came and shook me awake.

"I don't think you can ever be a ninja if you sleep this long." She chided. I stared blankly up at her, still half asleep. "Come on..."

"What…what happened?" I asked as I sat up and rubbed my face.

"You apparently can't stomach a teleportation Jutsu." She said as she opened the closet and began to rummage around in the things I had eventually brought with me. There wasn't much and she'd taken to filling it with her things. It was never addressed whether or not I was supposed to wear the clothes she stored in here, but I figured I wouldn't touch them just in case.

"Apparently…" I tried to remember what happened after the ninja dropped me at the ramen shop but it was a blank. "Hey Temari?" She turned and looked at me. It was then that I noticed how scuffed up she was, not bathed or rested. What in the world happened? "Who is Baki?" I asked.

"Baki? Baki is our sensei, the three of us. He's our teacher."

"Why did he order me to safety?" She smirked a little at that.

"Probably because Gaara told him to."

"Am I going to have to ask all the questions or are you going to just tell me what happened already?" I huffed. She sighed dramatically and with a flick of her wrist, the sash that held her fan to her back was pulled off and the massive thing fell to the ground with a cloud of dirt. She proceeded to flop down on the end of the bed and stare at the ceiling.

"So?" I poked her head with my big toe under the blanket, but she smacked at my foot.

"We were attacked last night."

"What!" I yelled.

She sighed. "Rain ninja came in the night, during the festival. I guess they thought it would be a good distraction. They didn't do enough recon though, because the Ambassadors from the leaf village had a convoy of extra Shinobi patrolling the walls. The fight was over before it really began." I just stared at her.

"Why?"

"Because right now…the Sand village is weak, and everyone knows it."

"Weak? We're not weak."

"You wouldn't understand." She shook her head and I frowned.

"Then make me understand." She looked at me.

"We as a nation were deceived into attacking our allies by a murderous S-Ranked rouge ninja. He murdered our Kazekage, and then attacked us in retreat. We may have saved some face with the Leaf village but because of this attack, and the treaty signed in the last great Shinobi war, our ninja are depleted and we have restrictions on how many we can train. The treaties and the feudal lord who controls the wind country have marginalized us. That was the fighting point that let Orochimaru trick us so easily. We wanted to believe that he could restore us to our former glory. What fools…And now, since we are restricted and vulnerable, other nations see it as the perfect opportunity to strike us, and take what the want."

"What _do_ they want?" I asked. She shrugged.

"Who knows, could be anything. The country of the rain is small and squished in between the wind and fire country. Maybe they thought they could carve out a little desert for themselves. But it doesn't matter. As weak as we are now, we are still stronger than them."

I smiled at Temari as she lay at my feet. She looked so tired…

"And you fought them? Last night? Did you sleep?" She chuckled softly.

"No. There were some minor repairs that had to be taken care of and it fell to me since Gaara was busy."

"Busy with what?" I asked.

"The Elders summoned him to talk to him about his succession issues." My ears twitched slightly.

"His...what?"

"Yeah...originally Gaara declined the title, being crazy and all, but he called the meeting this morning to reestablish his claim. " She said as she pushed herself up and to her feet. She started thumbing through my hanging clothes again. "He's really determined to get people to notice him for who he is, not what Shukaku can do. I mean, last night, he was the first to feel the attack coming. He sensed their feet hitting the sand. Their feet! Isn't that crazy? But his whole priority was to protect the villagers. He was kind of sloppy and it made him slower, but he had this new…drive. And I think it's all because-" She turned around. I was gone, and the door was wide open.

* * *

I ran quickly round the corner, and headed for the ramen shop.

"Hiniku!" I cried desperately. She came rushing from the back when I came rushing in the shop. We could have collided if it hadn't been for the bar.

"You're not dead I see—" She started.

"Gaara is going to become the next Kazekage!" I cried.

"And that's a bad?…Oh god!" She puzzled for a moment then, BOOM. Her face lit up light a firework. "No, no, no, no! No! Cause you! And him! No!" She cried and pounded her fists on the Bar. "This can't happen."

"And why exactly not?" Temari walked up behind me. She didn't sound too happy, although I wasn't that surprised that she kept up with me so easily.

"You don't understand." I said pitifully and turned to her. "I'm happy for Gaara that he can be the Kazekage...but-"

"But Giia!" Hiniku finished for me. Temari gave me a stupid look.

"What does Giia have to do with Gaara being the Kazekage?"

"Everything!" Hiniku cried. "Giia is obsessed with being with the Kazekage! Which means—"

"Which means she doesn't really care who the Kazekage is." I answered.

"Or how old they are for that matter." Hiniku mumbled.

I guess Temari must have gotten the message because she started to make weird faces. First she looked like she was about to throw up...then it went to looking like she was about to bite my face off.

"Um..." I said as I slowly made my way to the door. "While you stay here with her...I'm gonna go." I said and started to run.

"Wait! Gana!" Hiniku called after me...but I couldn't hear her over the pounding in my head.

"Now look what you did!" Hiniku scolded Temari, who was still fuming. "I can barely keep her here anymore!"

"I'm going to tell Gaara." Temari announced, ignoring the fact that Daagana was now gone.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Hiniku stuttered and followed as Temari stormed off.

"It's my primary course of action. And let's be real," She hissed. "For the first time in his life, Gaara finds a girl who can _more_ than tolerate his presence. A girl who actually enjoys him and then her perverted _mom_ has to go and try to steal him away!" She screamed.

"What _is_ the world coming to?" Hiniku agreed sarcastically.

"What does it even matter?" Temari snapped, stopping in the middle of the road. "Gaara will never give in to anything Giia tries, and he's likely to kill her anyway! What's actually the problem?" Hiniku awkwardly rubbed her head with a nervous laugh.

"I'm not really sure I should be the one explaining this. I won't use the right words."

"What do you mean?" Temari asked, and Hiniku grew serious.

Her eyes shone as she said, "Daagana will not fight Giia, no matter what, not even for Gaara. It's harsh but it's true. And even if she did find the courage somewhere out in the desert…Giia will kill her for trying to take something she thinks is hers. And then there's the other thing..."

"What other thing?"

"If Gaara were to kill Giia, do you really think Gana would ever be free?"

* * *

Temari threw open the doors to the mansion and screamed for Kankurou.

"You better get down here and hear this." She ordered. It took a minute or two but he came slumping down the stairs like he just crawled out of bed.

"Whoa..." Temari said and backed up a few steps as he collapsed in front of them.

"What is it?" He rasped.

"Um...Maybe we should take him to the hospital." Hiniku said and scrunched up her nose.

"Kankurou, what's wrong with you?" Temari chided.

"Stomach...pain." He said in between grunts. Hiniku cocked an eyebrow and bent down next to him.

"Roll over you big baby." She insulted. He did so with great difficulty, and she eyed him. "Now little boy," She said, like she was talking to a three year old. "Where does it hurt?"

"Shut up." He spat. He put his hand on the right part of his side, and groaned. Hiniku placed her hand there and concentrated. Her hand began to glow green, and after a moment she grunted.

"What?" Temari asked.

"His appendix has ruptured." Hiniku said blandly, like she was reading off an item from her shopping list.

Temari cocked an eyebrow. "So..."

"So," Hiniku said and her hands started to glow green again. "If the infection that caused the rupture gets into his blood stream...he'll die."

"Oh!" Temari said and stood back. "What do we do?" She asked dumbly. It was like she'd never taken care of her brother before and wasn't quite sure how to do it.

"You go and get some medical-nin. I'm not certified to heal a wound of this extent. I can keep him alive for the moment, but not for very long." Temari nodded, and ran out.

* * *

"The council has decided..." An elder stood at the end of a long table. Both sides were occupied by a line of other men, and at the end stood Gaara. "That we will accept Sabaku no Gaara to be the next Kazekage of the Village Hidden in the Sand." All the men nodded in agreement, and Gaara stood. "But," the man held up his hand, "Not until he has come of age."

"Thank you." He said and bowed to the men. On the outside we was as emotionless as always, but on the inside, he felt…he felt like he did when he first bit into that fishcake. Something so…fascinating. The council augured and he quickly left to tell his siblings and Daagana. A part of him wanted to apologize for leaving her alone last night, but she wasn't a ninja, and he couldn't have her getting in the way—

No, there's a better way to think about it. He didn't want her to get hurt. Yes…that felt more like the fascination he wanted.

What he found upon his return home was far from happy, though. He entered the mansion to find Kankurou laying on the ground and Hiniku performing some sort of a Jutsu on him. Gaara realized it was a medial jutsu when he saw her hands glowing green, but alas, Temari and Daagana were nowhere to be found.

"Temari's gone to find some medical-nin and Gana's gone to train." Hiniku said over her shoulder. "I swear I can't keep her home anymore." She muttered and turned her attention back to Kankurou.

"To train?" Gaara asked.

"Yeah. I told you about it, remember?" She asked. Gaara recalled her telling him of Daagana's power and her extensive training the day Giia burned down 'Poor Side', when she was digging her out of the wreckage.

"Why did she leave?"

"Because shit just got real." Temari's voice rang. Three medical ninja ran past Gaara to where Kankurou and Hiniku were.

"What does that mean?" He asked and Temari scoffed. Still as ignorant as a child. Then again, they were still children, depending on how you look at it.

"Look Gaara, it's Giia." She started and Gaara squinted. "She's after you." Although she hadn't been expecting that big of a reaction, some sort of acknowledgment would have been appreciated.

"She wants to be with the Kazekage so bad that she doesn't care who it is." Hiniku said as she walked up to them.

"Or how old they are, for that matter." Temari mumbled.

"That was my line!" Hiniku yelled and crossed her arms. Temari ignored her. The medical-nin walked past as they carried Kankurou away on a stretcher. Gaara followed him with his eyes, and before he could ask Hiniku said,

"His appendix ruptured. It's easy to take care of. He'll be back to normal in a few days." Temari's jaw dropped to the floor.

"YOU SAID HE COULD DIE!" She cried.

"Yeah..." Hiniku chuckled. "I only wanted to see your reaction."

" _You_..." Temari pointed her finger at Hiniku, he eyes were gleaming murder. "Are going to die." Hiniku gulped, turned on her heels and ran for her life. Temari followed with her fan, and swung it in Hiniku's direction many times. Gaara watched them for a moment, and when he found no interest he left the mansion to find Daagana.

* * *

Searching for Daagana was something Gaara never thought he would have to do. It seemed very odd, since she was usually always around with Temari or at the mansion. He went to the ramen shop and only her Ojiisan was there. He went to the burnt side of town and there were only ashes. After that he was just wandering. At about six o'clock the sun started to set in the sky and he still hadn't even found a hint of her. He re-traced his steps to the ramen shop and found Hiniku working behind the bar quietly.

"Where is Temari?" He asked and Hiniku looked up suddenly. She grabbed his hand and pulled him behind the bar, and ducked.

"Don't say her name!" She hissed. Gaara stood abruptly.

"Where is –"

"Don't say it!" Hiniku cried.

"Daagana." Gaara finished. Hiniku sighed in relief, but still hid behind the counter.

"She's training, remember?"

" _Where_?" He emphasized his question. Hiniku peeked over the side of the bar and when she saw Temari was, indeed, nowhere to be seen, she grabbed Gaara's hand and led him to the back of the shop.

He wasn't sure what to make of Hiniku when she picked up a black bag and shoved it in his arms.

"Outside of the western gate is the Suna Cemetery." Gaara slowly nodded as to say he knew what she was talking about...he'd filled a majority of its contents. "Every week I take a bag," She pointed to the one in his arms, "and I take it to Gana so she won't starve." Gaara understood what she was talking about now. Before, Hiniku had told him that Daagana could be gone weeks at a time. It made sense how she stayed out so long. "Now..." She said and crossed her arms. "Gana doesn't know I know where she trains so you can't tell her." Gaara squinted at the mischievous girl. "If you go past the cemetery due west a couples of miles, there's this huge...place." She smiled apologetically. "Its open desert but there are huge rocks everywhere, jutting out every which way. It gives Gana a little coverage." Gaara nodded. Seemed reasonable enough. "Just go to the one that looks like a horse and take a right. And another thing." Hiniku added. "You might as well not make yourself known. She runs away to train for a reason. It's not something she likes people seeing." Gaara nodded and started to leave.

At the entrance of the bar he noticed Temari run by. She stopped and ran back up to him.

"Have you seen Hiniku?" She panted.

"You've been searching for her all this time?" He squinted at her. She nodded her head and took big breaths. "She's behind the counter." Gaara said nonchalantly. Hiniku jumped up.

" _Traitor_!" She screamed and the chase resumed. Gaara again took no interest now that he knew where Daagana was. He wasn't about to waste time trying to calm down Temari. He already knew there was no hope for that.


	8. Axiom

**Axiom**

Gaara was at the cemetery in no time. The guards who manned the gate eyed him wearily as he passed through and he could honestly say, he felt like someone who needed to be watched. The cemetery had been around for as long as Suna had, and house Shinobi and civilian alike since the beginning of colonization. But there was a section in the back that was almost dedicated to the people Gaara had killed. As he stood at the edge of it now, it made his hands shake.

He'd never attended any of their funerals, he couldn't even remember all of their faces. Just mostly, a cloud of hatred. It was like none of them had faces, just a haze of fear and uselessness. Now that he was seeing them again in a totally new light, it almost made him sick. No transformation in the world was going to bring these people back, and he knew it. Having a new purpose full of life was not going to give it back to those he'd taken it from. He stumbled away before his eyes could find the grave he knew he was looking for...

 _Uncle's_...

His mind silently traced back to a time when he was a little boy, before Yashamaru...left. He had been sitting at the base of the wall near the playground when some boys came up to him. At the time he was no older than six and the boys seemed to be at least thirteen or fourteen. They said many things to him but the one that stuck in his mind was why Yashamaru even bothered to look at him. Gaara's tears had turned savage and the sand around the boys came alive. It caught them all in a bind and held them in the air. They screamed madly and Gaara just stood with tears streaming from his eyes. The only thing he said was that Yashamaru loved him...he had said so.

The rest of the story was ancient history. His uncle had not arrived in time to save the boys and Gaara figured that their graves were the ones closest to the desert; young children and the old were always buried closer to the dunes so their spirits could find their way easier. Gaara had no idea where he'd heard that, or even that he knew that at all. Perhaps all those years of ignoring Baki's lectures had sunk into him after all.

* * *

I fell to one knee and gasped for air. Apparently ventilation was not something that was easily achieved. My stupid little bubble wasn't cooperating with me and I had almost suffocated five times now.

I pounded the sand with my fists angrily.

"I'm never going to get this!" I yelled in frustration. "And what's the point? I'm not a Shinobi! I won't be the one to save the village! I can't even save-" I stopped myself. My own hand hovered over my mouth like it was poised to silence me.

 _Get rid of those thoughts,_ I told myself. _Push them down. Don't let them come up again_. If I let myself believe that they were true, I would probably crumble and blow away with the sand. Temari had told me, almost triumphantly, that Giia was the one who started the fire in 'Poor Side'. I didn't believe her, or Hiniku when she said the same thing. Or Ojiisan, or Kankurou, or anybody else when they chimed in. They were all wrong! Giia would never do something like that! At least not on purpose! Maybe she left the tea pot on the stove too long or flipped a light switch that short circuited. She'd been angry, I recalled with a grimace. I went home after work before Hiniku could stop me to check on Giia. She'd just lost the love of her life, she was bound to be a little distraught. She was only venting her sadness. She couldn't even see me. That's why she didn't try to get me out of the house when the fire broke out...she was really...confused. Yes, and heart broken. Things like that don't need excuses. She hadn't meant to leave me behind, she just...did.

Wobbly, I stood with a grunt. _That_ was the point. I needed to be stronger for her. That was why I would try again, and again, and a hundred times more. What if she had been the one trapped in the house? I could have killed her while trying to save her! I had to perfect this technique.

I formed hand seals again and concentrated, although they were technically more of a formality. In the academy, they taught us what each sign meant and which combination could be switched around to change the effect. It was my favorite study, like smoke signals or codes. Hiniku and I used to play pretend for hours after work, throwing fake Jutsus at each other and saving the world from any evil. Now, even though they were still just as fake as then, I still performed them out of habit. I still wanted to have some semblance of control, like I was the one who summoned the black and not the other way around.

Encircling where I stood, a snaking onyx ring spiraled, menacing black flames licking at my ankles as it spread. It consumed the sand where I stood until the ground was nothing more than a sheet of darkness. Clasping my hands firmly, I squeezed my eyes tight as the sickening flames grew and swirled around me, like the long arms of a nightmare. They reached up above my head and joined, trapping me in a cone. Bending to accommodate, the bubble formed around me as I focused entirely on ventilation.

Thin things, breathable things: silk, or clouds, or the sweet screen of smoke from someone's evening hookah. Ethereal, semi-corporeal things. Of the looming blackness of night that would swallow you whole, or that rush of wind that hits your back when you fall. I wanted to think of things that were lingering, if omnipresent. Things that could take your breath away...in a good way. Things that tasted like...saffron-

My eyes snapped open. There was no more air! No silk or clouds or smoke! Frantically, I made a seal to break the Jutsu. The bubble slotted obediently, unclasping above my head to slither back down to the circle at my feet before disappearing. The world went blurry as I pitched forward and my face slammed into the sand. Air rushed into my screaming lungs, and I just squatted there and panted, furious with myself.

 _I am never going to get this!_

* * *

Gaara watched with keen interest as Daagana readied herself to begin again. Her shadows where nothing new to him, although he didn't particularly think that they suited her. He would have thought her a Genjutsu user, or perhaps earth style, but shadows...they seemed a picky element. The Nara family were the only ones Gaara could think of that used this type of Jutsu, but how their technique ended up out here in his desert was beyond him. But what truly fascinated him was the fact that he could not detect a single drop of Chakra coming from her. She performed this Jutsu, and most likely many more, yet he couldn't sense any Chakra drain or usage. Something about it wasn't right. How was she performing Jutsu without using Chakra? It's like making ramen with no noodles. Without noodles, it becomes something else entirely...so what was this?

He leisurely stood from the rock he'd perched on to watch. Chakra or not, Daagana was exhausted, but he had the sense that she would try again anyway. It was what he would do, what most Shinobi would. She didn't notice his presence at first. Gaara figured she may not even know how to register Chakra. Temari had mentioned in passing that Daagana went through at least part of the academy, but he had no idea how much she'd learned. Chakra detection was usually taught after one had mastered the flow of Chakra within themselves...or at least, so he'd heard. He wasn't too proud to admit now that he used to sit on the roof sometimes and listen to the instructors teach the other kids. Although it wasn't long before he didn't care about it anymore.

Daagana was on all fours, wheezing. He could see the shape of her shoulders go up and down and there was an unfamiliar twinge in his stomach. Finally, after what felt like the longest minute of his life, Daagana shakily rose to her feet, hands on knees for support. She hadn't noticed him yet, or perhaps she just didn't care that he was there...

Or she just hadn't noticed him yet.

When she was back on her feet, swaying for a bit but seemed stable, she took a deep breath and went to make the hand seals again. As her hands were coming together to form the 'snake', Gaara cleared his throat.

"You should rest." Her eyes snapped to him, glazed from fear or asphyxiation, he wasn't sure. But she just stared at him. There was no continuing with the Jutsu but there was no loud exclamation either. She just looked at him...like she didn't quite believe he was there. Maybe she thought he was a mirage. Granted it wouldn't be impossible. The desert likes to repay the scars it receives from Shinobi training.

Tired of waiting for her to decide if he was real or not, Gaara hopped down to the expanse that she used as her dojo. The ground was solid, no doubt compact due to her years of beating it, and was secluded from any sight line of the village. Hiniku had not been mistaken when she said this place provided Daagana with privacy. Finding it had not been difficult, but if he hadn't had directions, it would have taken him considerably longer.

Finally, his name squeaked through her lips in a question. She scrunched up her eyebrows and her jaw went slack. Discovery = Accepted. "Gaara?" Like it had been an invitation, he continued up to her. Not too fast as to seem eager, but not too slow as to show annoyance. Honestly, thinking of things in this manner was so exhausting, sometimes he missed the days when he didn't have to think about them at all.

"Another attempt would be unwise." He advised when he made it to her. Abruptly, she sank to her knees and Gaara back peddled a step. Tears welled up in her eyes and Gaara nearly choked.

"I can't stop now..." She hiccuped. "If I stop now and something happens...it'll be my fault."

"If you insist on continuing, you will burn yourself out, and then you will save no one." Gaara said matter-of-factly. It was the wrong thing to say. Daagana burst into tears. Waterfalls. She could have watered all the crops in Suna. It took all of Gaara's Shinobi training to keep from sputtering out of control. "Perhaps I should...come back later." He managed to get out before trying to turn. _And run_ , the Shukaku jeered, but Gaara ignored him. Before he could make his escape though, there was a tug on his pant leg, and he turned back to Daagana's hand clutching his fatigues.

"You...promised." Was all she said, and Gaara realized there would be no running from this.

She only seemed to calm down when he ungracefully sat down beside her. The sun that had been sinking during his search was now well under the horizon, and the temperature in the desert was going to drop. He glanced around, thinking maybe she had set up a camp for herself, but...he didn't even see the bags that Hiniku used to deliver her supplies-

The bag! He'd left it behind the rock he hid behind first. He went to get up and get it, but her hand was back on his arm. Her touch was light physically, but he could feel the weight of everything it encompassed. He'd promised not to leave her. He'd given her his word. Whether or not it really applied in this situation seemed irrelevant. She wasn't going to let him leave her side. So he stayed seated and watched the sun made its way down.

The wind was starting up, but he only felt the chill on one side, while the point where his shoulder met hers was blazing. The fact that she wasn't talking now was a sign that she wasn't going to at all. He knew this silence well. The external silence and the internal voice. The Shukaku never ceased to lace Gaara's thoughts with malice, and sometime he had to physically stop and clear his head. He had to shut out the world and battle the sand demon for control of his reality. Gaara looked over at her again and wondered whom she was battling. After a little more thought, he concluded that her Jutsu could not be a Jutsu at all. Her power was like his, unconscious of them and self-perpetuating. He would not have chosen sand just as she would not have chosen the dark. But there was nothing either of them could do about it. A blond boy's face flashed in his mind and he sighed. All this time that he had thought he was alone… _unloved_.

* * *

Nothing made sense about this. He made me feel _safe_. It was poetic of sorts, that I felt most secure beside the boy possessed with a demon. But safe was rare for me and I wasn't going to question it. His face was stoic as ever and he gave no indication of what he was feeling, but my mother was bent on having him. And on top of that...he knew. Sad to say it was almost a relief to finally be discovered. Whether Hiniku knew the whole story or not was up for debate, but I liked it better this way. So that when the time came, I wouldn't have to confess it to him, I wouldn't have to reveal myself as some sort of liar or fake. In some ways, I was as deadly as him…and I wondered if he was as scared of his own hands as I was.

"Gaara." My voice sounded weak and feeble when I spoke his name. It was slightly awkward...just how I expected it. He eyed me calmly, not at all scared of what he'd witnessed. My brain froze under those pale eyes and I completely forgot what I was going to say. As I sat there, gaping like a camel, he asked,

"One day, will you tell me the story?" I suddenly wanted to yell that I'd tell him now if he would just stop staring at me like that, but I could only manage a nod. "And Daagana," He added.

"I understand your silence...better than anyone."

* * *

Sun streamed onto my face and i swatted at it like I could dispel it with a wave of my hand. Yawning, I stretched out on the comfy mattress... _Mattress_? I bolted up and looked around frantically. I was home— _Whoa now_. Not home. I was back at the mansion…but I couldn't remember walking back. All I remembered was Gaara, and I smiled. Then I smacked myself for smiling.

As I got up, I saw a note stabbed into the door with a Kunai.

 _Daagana,_

 _I hope you don't sleep too long. Gaara brought you back from the desert last night, and you were already out cold. We've gone to check on Kankurou at the hospital. We won't be long. And! Don't you dare run off again._

 _Love,_

 _Temari_

"HOSPITAL?" I cried and tore around the room, looking for my shoes, grabbing my pants, running my fingers through my hair and then downstairs, past the kitchen where someone was sitting—I pulled the reigns hard and hopped back to where Temari was sitting, enjoying a nice cup of tea.

"I just got your note!" I said leaning up against the door frame.

"I left that note like three hours ago." She held up three fingers and took a sip of tea, "You were asleep the whole time." I rubbed the back of my head apologetically, then quickly asked,

"You said Kankurou was in the hospital. Why? Is he okay?"

"Oh he's fine, just some battle injuries." She shrugged and went over to a cupboard. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving." I answered.

"Well too bad...cause its lunch time. Hiniku wants you at the shop pronto." I jumped in surprise.

"Oh no! I'm late!"

* * *

 **A Week Later**

I popped a dango ball in my mouth and nearly oozed satisfaction.

"Stop grinning like a fool!" Hiniku laughed at me. "We have to hurry up and finish and get back to work." I groaned and slid an entire stick in my mouth. Three balls in all. Hiniku tried not to laugh. She covered up her mouth with her hand but in the end it was inevitable. She burst out laughing and if it hadn't been for my Ojiisan holding her up she would have rolled around on the floor.

"Daagana. Proper dinna' manners ain't somethin' to put on yo' skill sheet." I went to laugh and swallowed hard, coughing and pounded my fist on my chest until all the dango balls were down.

"Who said I was going to write a skill sheet anytime soon?" I retorted.

"Alright you two." Hiniku said breathing hard from her laughing fit. "Let's get back to work." Ojiisan put down a couple of coins and we left the restaurant, walked across the road and entered the Ramen Shop. At least the dango shop wasn't that far away.

We went about our duties as always: I rolled noodles, Hiniku made the broth and served the bowls, and my Ojiisan went about cooking the meats. Some customers came in, ate and left. Typical day. Phff...How long would that last?

After my shift I walked back across the street to the dango shop and made an order to go. I smiled as I walked down the windy streets and made my way to the rich side of the Village.

Slipping off my shoes in the entry way, I called, "Kankurou!" There was a rustle, a thud, and then Kankurou, make-up less and in his robe, came scampering into the kitchen.

"What did you get me?" He drooled and hopped eagerly up and down. I laughed at the sight of him begging like a dog. Him in regular clothes was still something I was getting used to. That and Temari with her hair down. Gaara didn't really have any cosmetic changes, although he looked like a walking skeleton when he was soaking wet. NOT THAT I'D SEEN HIM SOAKING WET.

"Where's your hat?" I teased Kankurou. His ears perked up and he was gone in a flash. Just as quick he was back and his hat was thrown on his head.

"What did you get me?" He asked again.

"Dango Balls." I said and handed him the box. He snatched it out of my hands and was gone.

"You better say 'Thank you'!" I screamed up after him.

"Thank you!" I heard him yell quickly. I chuckled to myself and started to clean the kitchen. It made Temari so mad every time I cleaned or cooked. She said it was a maid's/cook's job. And I told her I was a maid/cook. She would just huff and take whatever I was doing away from me and send me out to do something else. Today was no different. She and Gaara came home about the usual time and she entered the kitchen with the same face as always. I thought I knew what she was about to say, so when I turned it was no surprise to me when she took the pot I was drying out of my hand. What was a surprise however, is what she replaced the pot with.

My jaw hung slack as I stared down at the article in my hand.

"But...I-I..." Was all I got out.

"Baki approved it." Was all she said, and gingerly turned on her heels and left the kitchen. Leaving just me, Gaara, and the Sand forehead protector I held in my hand.


	9. The Setting Stage

**The Setting Stage**

I immediately found his unhappy eyes and locked on.

"But...What?" I questioned.

"Do you not want it?" He asked, his face already a mask of disapproval. I looked back down at the forehead protector, felt its weight in my hands, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't have the slightest idea what to do with it. All those years of dreaming of going back to the academy were suddenly null because...I had the diploma. Was this some sort of joke, or was it a miracle? Did I even qualify? After Gaara discovered me, I promised to tell him the truth, the whole story: I was not possessed by an ancient deity or heir to a fantastic bloodline, my powers had been bestowed upon me by accident...by Giia.

After he was over the huge fit he had about it, Gaara told me it would be best if we told Baki, their sensei. I wouldn't have agreed if he hadn't insisted. The Jun Chi Noroi was a forbidden Jutsu and the last thing I wanted was to get Giia in trouble. But Gaara met my argument with his own: _because_ it was such a forbidden and rare Jutsu, incidents such as this needed to be recorded. Incidents such as it going wrong and filling me with shadows. But this prize was not what I expected when I let the medical nins examine me for what felt like hours or when I agreed to meet with Baki on a weekly basis. I was not looking for a short cut to Genin. I only did it because…well because Gaara said he understood.

"I don't know what to do..." I admitted, looking to him to tell me what direction I was supposed to run in.

"Baki made arrangements for your first assignment to be on my team." He continued, unwilling to guide me. He wanted it to be my choice, I realized.

"But Temari and Kankurou-"

"They don't know." He added quickly to quiet my concern. It wasn't like they would never find out but...the fewer people who knew about it, the better.

I carefully watched his face for a long minute. In the past couple of weeks I had become more accurate on reading his emotions. Most people would think he doesn't emote, but they would be wrong. It's all in the eyebrows. And even with my novice experience I knew...Gaara was upset by this. I sighed and stepped forward, resting my forehead on his shoulder and clutched the protector tightly in my hands.

"I'm sorry." I hiccuped. This was all my fault. I had this stupid curse and it was causing trouble for the first person who ever found out. I felt him put one hand on my back and pull me a little closer as he said,

"There is no need."

* * *

Gaara stopped himself short of pulling her to him and hiding her away where no one could ever hurt her again. It didn't matter that he knew she could defend herself, or that he always felt better when she was with him. It didn't even matter that giving her this assignment would keep her farther away from Giia...He couldn't help but worry. For her safety, for her health, for her sanity, and most of all...he worried about her image of him. Would she begin to fear him if she ever saw him fight? Would she leave him alone? Gaara didn't think he could tolerate it if she did.

But Daagana lived for her friends, just as Naruto had, and in that, Gaara could sense her strength. But at the same time, he saw her weaknesses. She did not believe in herself in the way the blonde did and it was because of that, that Gaara was troubled about this decision to give her authority. Daagana was good and honorable, but what worried him was that maybe she was just a little bit as crazy as he was.

She pulled away from him slowly and gazed up at him with those big golden eyes.

"I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." She said taking one of his hands in her own.

"It's just...the shadows—"

"I understand." He repeated. There were no other words he could offer her but this, that he knew exactly the kind of fear and confusion she was living through. The corner of her lips perked up.

"Does this mean I get to go on missions?" She asked excitedly, all traces of apology gone. He nodded somberly, not really a fan of sudden mood changes. With a shake of his head, he led Daagana out of the kitchen.

"Look's like someone's a ninja now!" Kankurou sang. He and Temari were standing in the entryway of the mansion, obviously waiting for them to emerge. He'd instructed them that he would tell Daagana alone but Temari had nearly sliced his head off in contest. So he allowed her the honor of presenting the forehead protector. Everything else would be his doing. Thankfully, they complied.

* * *

My smile only got bigger as Temari came forward, taking the headband from me and tied it around my neck.

"Isn't it supposed to go on my forehead?" I fingered the plate.

"Yeah but who wear's it on their head anymore? The only reason to wear it there is if you can't dodge." She said with a smirk and an obvious taunt thrown at Kankurou. He ground his teeth and was about to pull the string to unleash his puppet before I intervened.

"What now?" I asked quickly.

"Now for your assignments." Temari said, and handed me a scroll.

It wasn't until later that Temari realized that maybe letting the girl who had been abused all her life watch children, had not been a very good idea. The original thought was to make me a staple face with the villagers. After all, I held no fear of Gaara, and that was the goal for the village. Baki wanted people to see me interact with him and laugh at him. They wanted the village to see Gaara as the new human that he was.

My first assignment; The little boy was so cute…and so slobbery. I held him under his arms, a full arms length away from me, and we stared at each other. I didn't understand how this was a mission, but Baki said that all D ranked missions were like this: simple and easy. All Genin had to complete them, as a right of passage I supposed.

Absentmindedly, I felt a tickle in my nose and sneezed. And it somehow set him off. His tiny baby eyes got so big and brimmed with tears. I quickly put him down in his crib and crouched down to look at him through the bars.

"Oh no, please don't cry." But there was no stopping this hurricane. His tears sprang from his face like a water fountain as I covered my ears from his wails. "Stop! Please stop!" I cried, and the fact that I was shouting only made him cry louder. It was a competition apparently, to see who could cry the loudest.

"Stop stop stop stop stop!" I quickly got to my feet and ran from the room and slammed the door behind me. Panting, I leaned against the door. I couldn't do this…someone else would have to do this...

I beat the noddle dough into submission as Ojiisan took them and tossed them into the hot oil. I had left my headband, my shoes, and my pouch in the back room, not wanting to be bothered with looking at them. By chance, Temari walked by. When she saw my back, beating noodles, she quickly ran inside.

"Daagana, aren't you on a mission today? Is it over already?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said.

"Haku's mom came home from the store early then." Temari mused.

"I guess so." I said and continued to roll noodles. Temari's bow furrowed.

"You guess so?"

"Mhmm."

"Why do you guess so? Didn't you see her when she came home to relieve you?"

"Well, the baby was crying, and I didn't know what to do, so I left it to calm down." I said. Suddenly, my Ojiisan stopped what he was doing and stared at me.

"You left a baby by itself!?" He cried. Temari's face was completely shocked and I looked between the two of them in confusion.

"Uhhh, yeah? So? What's the issue?"

"You can't just leave a baby alone!" Temari screamed and ran out of the shop. I watched her go, still not understanding.

"Giia left me alone all the time. I don't understand…" I looked back to my Ojiisan whose face had darkened considerably.

"She ain't somebody you need to be taking lessons from, my desert flower." He squeezed my shoulder and took the time to explain what I had done wrong. I felt appalled at myself for not realizing my mistake and I hid in the back room when Temari came back to tell me that everything was fine, that she had fixed it.

Luckily, she'd made it to the baby before anything bad happened, and before his mother got home to see he was left unattended. After that, I was tasked with non-living things: tending the herbs in the canyon, hunting down stray cats, picking up trash in 'Poor Side'. Over the course of a few weeks, I became known as a D-rank expert, and people always seemed so happy when I would stop by to assist them. Sometimes, in a very strategic fashion, Gaara would accompany me on my missions and we would interact in front of the villagers. Most still feared Gaara, but not as much anymore when they saw him holding a basket full of vegetables while I shopped for the elderly. This was all working out for the better and things were going smoothly until…Sasuke had to go and run off.

* * *

"But...WHY?" I cried.

"You know very well why." Baki hissed down at me. I swear the man would be less scary if I could only have seen the other side of his face. Because I had disclosed my power to him, I agreed to weekly meetings with him for record keeping purposes. Usually they were awkward, and we would sit in his office in silence, but today he felt like getting actual work done and was cleaning out files in his cabinet. "Konoha needs our assistance and this gives us an opportunity to prove ourselves as the allies we should have been." He picked up a stack of papers and started to walk down a long sandy hallway of the Admin Building.

"But," I protested as I followed after him. "We attacked them! How can they ever trust us again? Sure, we were manipulated and twisted into doing the works of a freaky psychopath that thinks he's a snake but, _how can they trust us_!" I cried. It made absolutely no sense to me.

Baki stopped walking abruptly and I bumped into his back. He looked back at me clearly annoyed.

"I don't have this answer. Perhaps since you think we are so untrustworthy, you should go and inform them yourself." My jaw fell to the floor as he continued on with his work.

I flinched openly as I remembered his glare. Gaara, who was walking beside me, raised an eye ridge. I smiled weakly at him and said,

"Baki."

"How _is_ that going? That great, huh? Learning all the typical Genin stuff?" Temari asked and she trudged through the sand. I looked forward at her. The other two sand siblings didn't know about my curse or the shadows, so Gaara and I told them that my weekly meetings with Baki were for catch up purposes. I didn't graduate from the academy so he was supposedly helping me understand the duties and responsibilities of being a Suna Shinobi.

"He wouldn't be so scary if I could see his whole face!" I muttered weakly. Kankurou sputtered into a fit of laughter and Temari and I joined him. Gaara just smirked.

"I don't think I've ever seen him without his stupid little flappy mask on!" Temari cried and we all grinned like fools.

Camping in the desert was probably my very least favorite of the new experiences I was having! Temari and Kankurou went about making a makeshift tent in the side of a big sand hill. It was pretty much just two poles and a tarp, but it fared quite well. Night falls quickly in the desert so, not thirty minutes after we pitched tent, Temari and Kankurou were already asleep under the tarp. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep knowing that Gaara was sitting up against the pole outside waiting for the sun to raise. Situated in between Temari and Kankurou, and trying not to wake them, I quietly got to my feet. Kankurou's arms flopped around like a fish out of water, and the noise he was making was enough to make Gaara turn around.

When he saw me standing there his eyes softened slightly. He stretched out his hand and a small patch of sand came hovering over to where I was standing. I smiled and stepped onto it lightly. It was like stepping onto a hard surface. It didn't bounce or shift. It was completely stable as it hovered back over to where Gaara was sitting, and placed me on the ground beside him.

I looked behind me to make sure I hadn't woken up Temari or Kankurou but both lay still and I sighed in relief.

"Thanks." I said turning back to Gaara. He gave me a quizzical look but didn't say anything. "What?" I asked. He just shook his head and turned away to look at the stars. But I pressed. "What?" I asked again and tugged on his sleeve. He didn't bother to look over at me as he said,

"You should get some sleep." I gave him a good hard look until he finally met my eye.

"Is that why you're sad?" He actually scoffed like he couldn't believe I had asked that question. Even I realized the tactlessness of it, but there was no taking it back now. In an attempt to make up for it, I slipped my arm around his and rested my head on his shoulder. "If that's why, then I guess I'll have to stay out with you." His head quickly snapped to the side and stared at me.

"You...would do that...for me?" He stuttered. I lifted my head and looked at him.

"Of course I would." There was a short pause, then he said,

"But...why?" I smiled up at him and rested me head on his shoulder again.

* * *

"Why else?" It wasn't an answer, but at the same time, it was? Gaara couldn't process it, not right then, with her so close. She seemed to make his thoughts jumble in on themselves until all he could do was nod. So he did just that, he nodded to her and then turned back to the _not_ confusing stars. They had been his constant companion at least. And _they_ never caused the tips of his fingers to go numb or his tongue to feel like it was swollen. Stars never made him jealous or ecstatic or furious...although they still sometimes made him feel lonely. They also never cooked for him after a long day of training or meetings, and they never calmed him when he felt mad enough to kill again. Daagana's mumbled something into his shoulder shifted and he glanced down at her. Her head was resting comfortably and her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow.

She was asleep. There was a pang of jealousy in Gaara's eyes but it was soon conquered by the one emotion that still held any importance in his life. She mumbled again and this time it sounded more like a whimper. The overwhelming urge to fight away her nightmares surprised him and then fueled him. If he couldn't make it so she had nothing to fear, then what was the point of him? And then he could finally make out what she was whispering...

 _Giia. Giia. Mother..._

His untamable passion was suddenly squelched by a bucket of cold reality. This range of emotions was truly exhausting and he felt suddenly hollow when he looked at her. If she still loved her mother after everything she had done...how could she even understand how to love him?


	10. Taste Your Words

**Taste Your Words Before You Spit Them Out**

Hours! This was taking hours! Konoha, I learned, was a three day trek from Suna.

"Temari!" I whined as we trudged. "Are we there yet?"

"Do not make me come back there!" Temari clenched her fist and a vein popped on her forehead. It might have been the millionth time I asked.

"But I'm bored!" I whined. Kankurou was whining right along with me and by the time we met the border of the Fire Country, Temari was in a murdering mood.

"Just be glad I'm going to beat up some Orochimaru wannabe and not you!" She screamed at me as we parted. My sand nin were to meet up with the ninjas that had already been sent after Sauske. We were two days behind and they had some catching up to do. The Uchiha was heading north to the Sound village, accompanied by menacing sound Shinobi and Kankurou was anxious to go, already in the trees waiting. Temari jumped up to join him and then it was just me and Gaara on the ground. My orders were to go on to Konoha and act as an emissary, so they knew we were there to help.

I looked him over carefully, almost afraid it might be the last time I could. What was I thinking? I shook my head. This was Gaara! No one could defeat him…

"You better come back." I said quietly.

"I will." He said simply but that wasn't enough for me.

"You promise?" I took a step closer to him. He only nodded in response. "The go so you can hurry and come back." I pushed him off lightly, but before he left he said,

"Good luck on your mission." He jumped to the treetops and joined his siblings.

"From here on out...It's my assignment!" I squealed happily, and jumped up into the trees and started for the Village of Konoha. Trees were new. There weren't many trees in Suna and I liked the feel of them, sort of old and continuous. I guess my excitement got the better of me, seeing it was my first mission out of the village and all, but I was pretty sure Baki wouldn't approve of my swinging through the trees laughing loudly. At a passing glance I probably looked like a monkey drunk on sake, but I was having way too much fun to care.

I hopped off a branch and flew to the next one, when suddenly there was a figure beside me. It was a ninja with a white mask with a beak. I faltered, and threw myself to the left, to a different path, but the Shinobi followed me. And suddenly, there was another one on my other side. When I landed on the next branch, I clutched the bark in an effort to stop the inertia that was driving me forward. It sent me spinning on the branch until I stopped upside down, shadows keeping me attached to the tree. I lost the strange ninja for only a moment before they appeared on the branch I was clinging to, one right side up, and the other beside me on the trunk of the tree, sideways.

"Who are you? What do you want?" I yelled and whipped out a Kunai to have at the ready in case I needed it.

"We are ANBU." The one above me with the beak mask said.

"ANBU?"

"We've come to escort you." The one below me with a cat mask said.

"Escort me? I don't need an escort." I yelled.

"You don't have much choice. Either you come with us, or you go back."

I looked between them, nervous. Baki hadn't said anything about an escort, but then again…it was understandable. You could never be too cautious with an ally that had just betrayed you. I returned the Kunai to my pouch and nodded.

"Lead the way, ANBU."

It was strenuous. The pace I had kept with my sand nin was nothing compared to keeping up with these ANBU. They were steering me on both sides, and it took everything I had to not fall behind. They didn't speak to me, or to one another; we just jumped from branch to branch in silence. We went for so long, I started to go numb all over. I was just one big muscle memory motion, and it only gave my mind time…time to think of my sand nin. I was worried, and I fretted the entire time.

We camped in the trees. I guess it wasn't really camping, we just stopped, sat and slept. I woke up with the sun shining on my face through the tree tops. When I sat up, there was an ANBU directly in front of me. He didn't speak, just nodded and I nodded back…and we started again. We went for a couple hours before my mind went numb with nervous worried boredom. I wanted to ask their names. I wanted to know why Sasuke had fled. I wanted to know if they knew Naruto. I wanted to know if they could use senbon. I wanted to know if they had green eyes or blue eyes. I just wanted to know something besides this worry that my sand nin were not going to be okay…but they had to be. They had to—

Suddenly the tree line stopped abruptly and I was propelled forward with a SPLAT! I smacked right into a very big and very tall wall.

"Ow." I mumbled as I peeled myself off the structure and fell back down to earth with a _thud_. If I hadn't been going so fast, I wouldn't have had a problem trying to stop. And if I had been in the moment, and not worrying over my ninja, I would have seen that the trees were thinning and there was a city ahead.

"What was that?" I heard someone shriek.

"I think it came from over there." Another voice said and then there were footsteps. Those were not the voice of the ANBU. I carefully sat up and looked to see if they too had smacked into the wall, but they were nowhere to be found. Half of me wondered if I had imagined them.

And there were two girls. One with pink hair and one with blonde. They were both giving me the weirdest look...like I had just fallen from the sky. Well...I guess I sort of did.

"Who are you? State your business!" The blonde girl hissed.

"My business?" I said quickly getting to my feet to match her. What was my business? "I'm an ambassador from the Hidden Sand village."

Both girls seemed to reel at the name and I flinched. I really must have smacked my head because everything was a little blurry.

"Why did you punch the wall?" The pink haired girl accused.

"Punch the wall? Are you kidding?" I laughed. "I ran into the wall! The ANBU were leading me and they were going so fast I couldn't keep up and I didn't realize we had made it until—" Both girls looked at one another and then back at me like I had lost my mind.

"Sakura?" The blonde girl asked. Obviously the girl with the pink hair was Sakura. I guess it made since, because Sakura means Cherry Blossom...and cherry blossoms are pink...as was everything on her body.

"We should take her to see Tsunade-sama." Sakura nodded. I cocked an eyebrow. That name sounded familiar.

"Is he your Kazek—I mean, your…uhh…." I rubbed the back of my head. "What is your Kage called again?"

" _She's_ the fifth _Hokage_!" Sakura shouted.

There was a whoosh and between us suddenly sat an ANBU and a leaf ninja. I pursed my lips at him.

"I thought maybe you got lost." The leaf ninja stood and nodded to me.

"I will take you to the Hokage now." The ANBU made a hand sign and was gone again in the puff, and I silently bid him goodbye. The leaf ninja wore the typical Shinobi fashion and his forehead protector was a full bandanna around his head.

"Lead the way." I said.

"It will be faster if we use the network." He said and stepped towards me.

"The network?" I asked.

"For teleportation—"

"No way!" I jumped back and pointed at him. "I am never doing that again! I can walk on my own two feet thank you very much!"

* * *

The girl before Tsunade was tanned like leather, with nervous eyes and a set mouth. She was a total _wreck_. No body could fool the eyes of this medical Sannin, and Tsunade could see the healed breaks and scar tissue that made up this girl. She was no ninja. She was a victim. But she did not waver when she bowed, or whimper when she introduced herself as an ambassador for the hidden sand.

"Thank you, Izumo." The Hokage said, and her ninja disappeared. "Now," She laced her fingers together on the desk top. "Tell me about yourself."

"My name is Daagana." She said and Tsunade waited…and waited.

"No surname? Just Daagana?" She asked, bored. The girl nodded. Just Daagana, just Gaara. "Very well, and you do understand your point here, don't you?"

"Yes. I'm here as a symbol." Tsunade cocked an eyebrow at that answer.

"Not how I would have put it, but generally the same, yes. You are here to show the people of Konoha that the sand nin are here to help. I will assign my assistant to act as your guide through the village. Keep your paperwork on you at all times, and don't cause any trouble."

"Yes, ma'am." She bowed again and headed for the door. Before Tsunade could stop herself, she called her back.

"One more thing." Daagana turned back to her. "Whoever is doing that to you," she pointed to her, "Make them stop."

* * *

Konoha is so huge! I paused, stunned at what I saw before me. The buildings went on for miles, and I had to shield my eyes from the sun just to see the wall around the city. It had taken a while for my escort and I to reach the admin building, but I didn't realize we had walked that far! Maybe I should have let him use the teleportation Jutsu…I sighed. But I really didn't want to pass out fifteen minutes in. I stood in the street before the admin building like some sort of tourist, not knowing which way to go. What exactly was I supposed to do here?

"Should we ask her name?"

"I don't know."

"You're the one who made the big come back Sakura! Go and ask who the heck she is!"

"Shut up Ino-Pig! You go ask her! Did you see her forehead protector?"

I quickly stopped myself from laughing. Ino-Pig...that's brutal. I turned to the voices from the girls earlier, and they were pretty much at each other's necks. The Hokage said she would assign her assistant to guide me around the village, but I didn't realize it would be the same girls as before.

"Um...My name is Daagana. I'm from the Hidden Sand." That silenced them pretty quick. Sakura broke away from Ino and her face fell tremendously.

"Why would Tsunade-sama call the sand-nin if the guys couldn't do it themselves?" Ino quickly went and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Sakura...They're fine. Naruto, Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba and Neji are perfectly fine. I'm sure Tsunade-sama only called the sand for back up." I cocked my head curiously. They were just about to kill each other and now they're all buddy-buddy.

But the name Naruto did ring a bell. Gaara spoke of Naruto often. He was the first and the only to ever defeat Gaara in battle, and the boy who saved his life. If Naruto was so important to Gaara...I didn't want him to be hurt.

"Naruto? He went with the group to save the Uchiha boy?" I asked quietly. Sakura quickly looked back at me, her sea foam eyes already brimming with tears. She nodded.

"How do you know Naruto?" Ino accused harshly.

"I-I...Gaara told me about-"

"Gaara!" Ino cried. "Gaara of the Desert?" She quickly looked around in fright. "He's not here is he?" I quickly went from peaceful citizen to deadly assassin in the blink of an eye.

"So what if he is?" I snapped. She was about to say something but decided against it. All she did was push Sakura off and bolt.

They ran off so quickly I was afraid they might send some other ninja to come and take me out. The Hokage had said to stay out of trouble, but I guess I wasn't doing a very good job at it. I quietly walked over to a bench off to the side of the road in front of the Admin building and settled myself down to wait.

I missed them.

I sat...and sat...and sat. And while sat, I was bored. I sighed and closed my eyes. The breeze in Konoha was peaceful...unlike the desert wind in the Hidden Sand.

"Um..." My eyes quickly opened. Before me stood a girl with brown Bonbons on the top of her head and a leaf headband on her forehead. I have to say, I hadn't seen someone actually wear a forehead protector on the foreheads in such a long time...it almost looked weird at first. "Um...Hello. My name is TenTen." Since when did people introduce themselves anymore? I quickly got to my feet and offered a hand for her to shake. It was rare that someone would just come up and say hello to a complete stranger.

"I'm Daagana." TenTen smiled then turned and gestured to people I couldn't see. Low and behold from around the corner of a building came little Sakura and Ino. Almost pitifully they sulked up to where we were standing.

Abruptly, a very obvious fact slapped me in the face. Ino and Sakura were deathly afraid of me. One, because I scared the crap out of them before. Two, because I defended Gaara. Why do things always work out like this? I knew I had to apologize but TenTen started talking.

"Well Daagana, you see—" I cut her off anyway.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly bowed to Sakura and Ino. "I didn't mean to scare you. I promise. But you were insulting Gaara...and—"

"What?" TenTen screamed. "You told me she blew up at you for no reason at all!" She turned quickly and glared very pointy daggers at Ino and Sakura.

I quickly straightened myself and watched at TenTen chased them down the streets of Konoha...all the way out of sight.

* * *

"Sorry about that." TenTen said as she led me to the Ramen bar she offered to take me to after she decimated Ino and Sakura. "I didn't mean to blow up at you like that."

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed, "You didn't blow up at _me_! You blew THEM up!" We walked into a very crowded ramen bar and I stopped abruptly.

"Why in the world is it so crowded?" TenTen pulled me over to the counter at the far end and wrestled a couple of people for two stools. Of course she won and we sat. A young girl with brown hair handed us some menus and I looked back at TenTen.

"Is this place that popular?" I stared hard at the menu, but it didn't seem like they had anything we lacked back home. Although, I wanted to try their Miso broth, just to make sure it wasn't better than mine.

"Nope quite." She giggled and ordered her food. I did the same but I wasn't about to let her off that easy.

"So why so busy then?" I pressed. She looked over at me then put a finger to her lips like she was shushing someone.

"It's a secret."

What kind of secret? Why would a crowded ramen bar be a secret...it's not exactly the ideal place to hold a secret gathering seeing that it's the brightest thing on the street at the moment.

I ate my bowl of ramen in silence. Thinking was the hardest thing for me to do. Maybe it was because my brain had a lack of oxygen from the million times I tried to teach myself how to control that stupid little bubble. Or maybe it was because I was worried about whether or not Giia was killing Hiniku. Or maybe because their broth was a little too salty and I had to order an extra glass of water. Or perhaps it was because I had NO IDEA what was happening to Gaara at the moment...and it made my stomach churn.

"Are you alright?" I snapped out of my trance and looked over at the man who sat beside me. He had a funny little ponytail and a long scar across his nose.

"I'm fine, thank you." I said quietly.

"Well...you barely touched your ramen. And you looked very unhappy." I cocked my head at the man.

"What? No I don't." I said a little taken aback.

"Yes you do." TenTen leaned over and budded into our conversation. I pushed her back out and I sighed.

"Who were you thinking about?" The man asked.

"No one." I said and quickly turned back to my untouched bowl. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the man smile warmly.

"I was also thinking of someone close to me. Right now he's on a mission to bring back his best friend." I looked back over at the man.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Umino Iruka." He said and extended his hand for me to shake.

"Daagana." I said and shook his head. "I'm from the Hidden Sand." And guess what! He didn't flinch at the mention of the Sand Village. He didn't turn away at its name.

"The Sand Village eh? Are you familiar with Sabaku no Gaara?" He asked.

"Yes. I came with his team." I said...hoping that he didn't notice how my cheeks turned pink at the mention of Gaara.

"Why come and not fight? I'm sure they'll need all the help they can get." He said.

"I'm sure Gaara and Naruto have it under control." I smiled. Iruka-sensei sort of cocked his head and stared at me for a moment. "What is it?" I asked.

"How do you know Naruto?" He asked still staring at me. I inched away slightly as his eyes never moved and paused my answer.

"Gaara mentions him sometimes. And Temari and Kankurou say he the only one who's ever beaten Gaara. I always thought-"

"Gaara talks about Naruto?" Iruka-sensei asked...astonished.

"Yes. Is that surprising?" I asked. Iruka-sensei just sat there, looking very tired...yet he was smiling.

"Do you know why it's so crowded in the Ramen bar tonight?" He asked quietly after a few moments.

"No. TenTen won't tell me." I pouted. Iruka laughed at my little joke and then grew quiet again.

"So..." I looked around as I spoke, "Are you going to tell me?"

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry. I got caught up in my own thoughts." He waved his hand in the air. Then he gestured to everyone in the building. "We have a secret. All of us come here to cheer for Naruto."

"What?" I asked. He chuckled then called over to the old man how ran the ramen shop. He reminded me of my Ojiisan.

"Tenchi. Who is your best customer?"

"Naruto of course!" The man boomed. Iruka gestured to a woman on the other end of the bar.

"Lady Hana. Who goes out of his way to bring back your lost cat?"

"Uzumaki Naruto." The fat woman said as she hugged a cat.

"TenTen," Iruka turned to her, "Who is the craziest ninja you know?"

"Naruto." TenTen smiled and held up a peace sign. Then Iruka turned back to me, and everyone else was watching us as well.

"You see Daagana, we all have a connection to Naruto. He may be the most annoying ninja in the Fire country...but he is the most determined and the most kind hearted. You're always on the best team when you fight with Uzumaki Naruto." The bar erupted into a loud roar, and you know what? I cheered right along with them.

Uzumaki Naruto. You have done so much for Gaara, and so you have done a great deal for me. Me, standing here in this bar, cheering your name, is my way of repaying my debt to you. I understand that I will never compare to what you have given me...but I know that even though you don't know about these secret meetings, perhaps you feel the support that they offer. I only hope that one day you will see how much you village truly loves you. Because they do love you, very much. Please...I beg you. Please never change. They need you. We all need you.


	11. Retrouvailles

**Retrouvailles**

"Um…Daagana?" I turned as Sakura tapped me on the shoulder. She hadn't come back since TenTen yelled at them for throwing a fuss about Gaara. Hopefully this wasn't going to be round two.

"Oh, Sakura. How are you?" Iruka asked the girl. He still st beside me in the ramen bar, adn I was more relieved that I realized that he hadn't left. He was such a calming personality. That and their little secret meeting made me feel welcome in this village. Sakura quickly smiled at him, but kept her attention to me. She was clutching something in her hands.

"I'm fine, Iruka-sensei. Um…Daagana, Lady Tsunade asked me to give you this." She handed me a small brown jar with the hidden leaf emblem on it.

"Thank you…but what is it?" I said as I took it from her.

"It's healing medicine." Iruka said. "Tsunade-sama is the best medical ninja in the world. She probably made that specific to you, Daagana."

" _One more thing." I turned back to the Hokage. "Whoever is doing that to you," she pointed at me like she was pointing directly to every black eye, or broken arm or torn muscle, "Make them stop."_

I gripped the jar tightly and stared at it, not sure if I was appalled or encouraged. It never occurred to me that I would have to actively hide that part of myself here. No one in Konoha knew me, but she…Tsunade…she saw my every mess up, Giia's every tantrum...and she had made me a salve for it.

 _Make them stop,_ she'd said. I cleared my throat to stop the tears gathering behind my eyes.

"Ahem…please thank her for me." I told Sakura. "Sincerely." She was still regarding me with mild suspicion, but it seemed to have replaced the hatred or Suna from before. I could stand her being curious, I wouldn't stand her being cruel.

"Gents! Their back!" A random man called from the road outside. It startled me so much I almost dropped the jar.

"What? Who's back?" I asked TenTen.

"What a stupid question! Naruto's back!" She cried and the Ramen bar emptied out into the streets. Sakura was sprinting and gone before I could even stand up.

We all emptied out into the streets of Konoha, but I turned back. Iruka-sensei was still sitting at the ramen bar, sipping his tea.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked. Suddenly a raindrop fell down onto my nose. I looked up at the sky and saw that the clouds were darkening severely, and it was starting to rain. I had never seen anything like it before. Rain was sparse in the wind country and I gaped at it. The sky was crying. The sky was… _crying_.

"They shouldn't be back yet...It's only been a couple of hours." Iruka-sensei said and took another sip. Quickly the rain started to fall down and land on droplets splashed on my head like blows and I flinched. Every raindrop suddenly felt like a punch. _'They weren't supposed to be back yet_.' Did that mean... _Gaara_!

I turned my back on the ramen bar and raced after the rest of the crowd. I pushed and shoved my way to the middle of the road and found that a line had formed where numerous medical-nin were ferrying in ninja. All of them, my age, and all of them closer to death then I had ever been. Even with Giia as a mother.

First they brought in a boy who was so skinny I was afraid his skin was going to fall off his bones. His orange hair poked through a bandana and I saw a much older similar looking man race to his side.

Next came a boy with long hair and a strange mark on his forehead. He held something small and white in his hand and I squinted to see what it was but the medical-nin were quick to get him out of the rain. He had a gaping hole through his chest that didn't seem to bleed but I could still smell the rancid stench of burnt flesh.

Third to come was Kankurou. He was carrying someone on his shoulder. I broke away from the crowd and ran over to him and took the boy's other arms and we carried him together.

"Kankurou! Are you alright?" I asked frantically.

"A few scratches here and there, but I'm fine." He huffed. He was lying...I could tell. Crow's wrapping on his back was mangled and dirty, like he'd been thrown or they both had, and the boy on our shoulders was dripping wet.

"Who is this?" I asked nudging the boy we were carrying.

"This is Inuzuka Kiba. And that's Akamaru."

"Huh?" I scanned the boy quickly and saw there was an odd lump in his shirt, and a tail was sticking out.

"A dog?" I looked back over at Kankurou.

"Yeah," He said as some medical-nin came to take Kiba from our arms. As I watched, one girl had the same markings on her face as Kiba had on his, long red triangles. "Kiba and his family all have K-9 companions. And just between you and me," Kankurou said and pulled me closer, "They're pretty damn strong." He said and started in the direction of the hospital.

"Daagana!" I quickly turned around to see Temari walking up. Joyfully, I ran to her, nearly throwing myself at her. "You okay?" She asked when I hugged her.

"Am I okay? Why are you asking about me? What about you! Are you okay?" I cried.

"I'm alright. The girl I fought was already pretty weak. And Shika toned her down a little before I got there," She huffed, "But only a little." I cocked my head and stared at her.

"Who's Shika?" I asked.

She quickly cleared her throat. "I said Shikamaru."

"No you didn't." I corrected her.

"Yes, of course I did. Why would I call him anything different than his name?" She cried.

"I mean, I could think of a few reasons?" I jeered and her face burned tomato red.

"Shut Up!" She cried and stormed off.

"Wait Temari! Don't leave me here alone!" I cried and followed her.

* * *

My panic was almost gone. Kankurou and Temari were fine...but where was Gaara? Also...where was Naruto? I strained my eyes through the rain to see if I could spot his red hair. But by the time I caught a glimpse of his head, the crowd had dwindled. Only those...faithful enough I guess, were waiting for Naruto. Iruka-sensei had come out of the ramen bar and was standing beside me. The rain had cried itself out and all that was left were the gray clouds that put us all in a gloomy mood. Not that any other mood would have been better for the occasion. Someone had already gone and told the Hokage that the mission was a failure. Somebody told us that she was already at the hospital helping the boys that had already been brought in. I gripped my jaw of salve so tightly I was afraid I'd break the glass. The Hokage was the best medical nin in the world, Iruka had said. _Please_ , let her heal them!

I always wondered why things work out the way they do. Like...why did that idiot Orochimaru have to go and kill the Kazekage? Or, why did the Uchiha boy have to be so selfish and go off and get all these Genin hurt? But I knew the answers to both. Greed, selfishness, hate, deceit, carelessness, and just plain heartless people who wanted everything and wouldn't give anything back.

But of course, if Orochimaru hadn't killed the Kazekage; I never would have had the opportunity to meet Temari, Kankurou, or Gaara. And then, if Uchiha hadn't run away I would have never met TenTen or Iruka-sensei, and I would have never known about Naruto like I do. It was because of their selfishness that I had the opportunities I did, but somehow, my gratitude felt sour. At the same time, it also felt familiar, and it sat in the bottom of my stomach like a lead weight, making me nauseous.

"Daagana, look." Iruka said. I shook my head slightly and looked on ahead to see a bright red head coming up the road.

"Gaara?" I muttered, feeling that lead weight sink even lower. I ignored it. "Gaara!" I cried and ran from the place I was standing. He was safe. However indebited I felt to those who carved my path, I forgot it in the face of him walking back to me. He kept his promise after all!

* * *

Gaara trudged slowly beside Lee. Lee wasn't as tired as he was...not even close. Half the time he fought Kimimaru, he had been drunk, and it barely affected him. After the battle he was perfectly preppy as always. He even offered to carry Gaara. Despite the fact that the thought of riding on Lee's back was unnerving, Gaara could honestly say didn't mind the kind gesture. He denied it of course, but the thought it what counts, so they say. And in the back of Gaara's mind, he remembered shattering Lee's legs. He was not going to let himself be carried by those legs for as long as he lived.

What was really running through his mind at the moment was if Naruto had gotten back with Uchiha Sasuke. He hadn't been able to catch up with him. Each member of the Sand team had taken their respective targets once the Chakra signatures had been identified, and while Gaara had been aiming for Naruto's, Lee had been closer.

And Gaara owed him.

"Gaara-kun? Are you alright? Are you sure you do not want me to carry you? I can assure you it is no trouble." Lee asked again, but Gaara shook his head.

As the duo came upon the gates, Gaara saw that a line had formed. Obviously for the other Genin who had fallen behind. But Gaara knew it was unlikely for these Leaf Genin to fail a mission, and it disturbed him that so many of them had greeted death for the chance at success. It was nothing he had not been taught as a Shinobi, and while he would be perfectly fine laying down his life...he would never allow his friend's to perish!

"Gaara!" Someone yelled from the crowd.

"Gaara-kun did you hear that? Someone is calling your name." Lee asked. Suddenly Gaara stopped walking. He had been so busy with the battles that he had completely forgot about her! He hadn't given one thought to her safety, or her feelings in this strange, new village. How could he do that? Can you do that to someone you love? Gaara wondered. Can you forget about them but still love them?

But it didn't matter so much when she ran full speed into his arms and knocked him off his feet.

* * *

I couldn't get to him fast enough. Perhaps I should have taken more care, when you think how his sand could have squashed me for coming at him too quickly but, I didn't care!

"You scared me half to death!" I chided and squeezed the living daylights out of him. "I thought you had died! I thought the stupid Shukaku had gone all stupid and...and...thank the winds you're safe!" I cried and buried my face in his chest. I guess it was a bit much to take in at the moment. I had knocked him off his feet, and we were sitting on the ground under the gates of Konoha, and I was all over him. He was Gaara of the Desert, he literally just destroyed their village a few months ago. Public displays of affection for this man might have been called taboo.

I loosened my grip and looked up at him to see if he was glowering under the stares, but to my complete surprise-he was smiling! Sabaku no Gaara was genuinely smiling. It was small and I might have been the only one to see it but it was wonderful. Emotions completely change the composition of the face. I know when Hiniku is mad, she'll get this little wrinkle between her eyes and the angrier she gets, the longer it grows. With Temari, her eye twitches when she's annoyed. And now, with Gaara, I knew that his whole face opens up when he smiles. The little boy that he hides from the whole world beams when he smiles. And he let me see it.

"Ahem." We both looked up to a boy who was staring at us. I scanned him over and came to the conclusion that he was Rock Lee, the boy Gaara had fought in the Chuunin preliminaries. The green spandex confirmed it, but just in case, I leaned over and whispered in Gaara's ear.

"Is that Lee?" Gaara nodded, the smile gone with the wind. So I smiled in his place. I could be it's place holder for awhile. "It's nice to meet you Lee." I said up to him. He seemed taken aback by the fact that I knew his name, and seemed almost crestfallen that I'd ruined his introduction. But from the look I was getting from Gaara as we stood, I probably didn't want to see it anyway.

"It is nice to meet you...um..." He stumbled and I realized he had asked for my name.

"Oh! I'm sorry. My name is Daagana." I said and we shook hands.

"It is nice to meet you Daagana." He said and grinned at me with the whitest teeth I'd ever seen. His teeth sparkled and I had to blink a couple of times before I could see again.

"Come on," I said and grabbed Gaara's arm, "Temari is waiting, and Kankurou is already at the hospital." I began to pull him towards the gates, but he stopped.

"Where is Naruto?" I had asked the same question myself, but as I looked around now, I realized that he still hadn't arrived.

"I thought he would be with you?"

* * *

There was no more smiling after that. We caught up with Temari, who was waiting further into the village and walked in the direction of the hospital. I looked around for Iruka sensei, but he was gone, and I didn't want to make everyone stop so I could go check the ramen bar. The streets that had been crowded before were eerily quiet, like everyone, civilians and Shinobi alike had gone indoors to collectively hold their breath.

"Daagana!" Abruptly cut through the silence and I turned around to TenTen running up to us.

"TenTen?" I asked innocently. Gaara tensed as I went forward to meet her.

"Have you seen Neji? Is he okay? Is he alright?" She grabbed my shoulders roughly and started to shake. Each syllable emphasized by the bob of my head.

"I...don't...know who...Neji...is." I said between her shakes.

"TenTen," Lee said and practically tore her off me, "You are hurting her." Temari placed her hand on my shoulder to steady me, but it didn't really help.

"I'm sorry." TenTen said quietly. Lee spoke softly to her then nodded to Gaara and the rest of us, before quietly leading her away.

Temari was holding me up and saying something to Gaara...but my eyes were scanning the sky. Hadn't it just been raining? Wasn't the sky just crying? Then...why were the clouds so big and beautiful?

"Temari?" I lulled as the world continued to tilt. She looked down at me with that look she always had when she was worried about my sanity.

"What?"

"Why doesn't it rain in Suna?" I asked.

"Because it's a desert? Sheesh, you sound like Shikamaru." She lectured while she shifted me from one arm to the other, and then suddenly dropped me like a rock. "Speak of the devil!" She sputtered. Another person walked up and began to speak with Temari, but I just laid on the ground with a lump on my spinning head.

Gaara squatted down beside my head and squinted at me.

"Why are you looking at the sky?" He asked.

"Because it was crying." I said. I brought the jar of salve up and clutched it to my chest. "Do you think maybe the sky over Suna is just cried out, and that's why it's a desert?" Because that's certainly what I felt like. I heard Temari turn around quickly and I knew she was staring at me. I lifted my head up and saw a boy was standing by her. He wore a Konoha vest and his hair in a ponytail.

I propped up on my elbows and stared at him.

"Did TenTen shake you enough to damage your brain?" Temari said and bent down and pulled me to my feet.

"I think so." I sniffed.

"Take her to see Sakura. She's Tsunade's apprentice. Maybe she can smack her back into shape." The boy said. I looked him over again and then stared at Temari.

"That's Shikamaru?" I pointed at him.

"In all his glory." She nodded. His face held a permanent frown and it didn't suit him very well.

"Why do you like _him_?" I asked. Temari's face turned one hundred different shades of red and she smacked her hand over my mouth before I could say anything else.


	12. So She Sent Them All Away

**She Didn't Know Who Would Go or Stay, So She Pushed Them All Away**

"I'm _sorry_. It just came out! I didn't mean to!" I apologized to Temari later. We sat outside a medical emergency room. The light above the door was lit and I had been told that the color meant that the person inside was being treated. "Who's in there, Temari?" I asked and nodded towards the door.

"Akimichi Choji, I think." She answered, not at all sated by my hundred apologies. She was lazily seated on one of the benches that sat outside the room.

"Akimichi Choji? Who's he?" I asked and sat down beside her.

"He's on the same team as Shikamaru." She answered. "Who now thinks I'm a freak, by the way." She added and turned up her nose.

"I said I was sorry!" I pouted and crossed my arms. "TenTen messed up my brain!" I whined.

"Pff. That's a lame excuse."

I slumped over, hungry, bored, and cold. Kankurou was in Kiba's room, and Gaara had gone to meet with the Hokage. I asked him if I could go too, not sure if I was a glutton for punishment for wanting to see her again, but he said I should stay behind here. I guess it was better than him just telling me _'no'._

"I'm gonna go check on Kankurou and Kiba. Will you be okay here?" I asked Temari and stood.

"Sure..." Temari waved me off. She made such a fuss about pretending to not like Shikamaru, but she was still sitting outside his friend's emergency room. I didn't want to tell her that it was too obvious, but at the same time, I wasn't really one to talk. As I continued to walk down the hall, I saw Shikamaru walking opposite me. As we passed each other, he acknowledged my presence with the slight nod of this head then was gone around the corner.

I asked a couple of nurses where Kiba's room was and I still somehow ended up in the wrong hall. When I opened the sliding door I thought would take my to my other Sand nin and saw a girl sitting at the bedside of a Leaf Genin instead, I sputtered. He was the boy with the long hair, the one with the hole through his heart. His forehead was neatly bandaged and he seemed still as death under the sterile white sheet.

"Oh!" I whispered. "I'm so sorry." Spinning around, I tried to retreat, but the girl at his side turned, her big white eyes rimmed with tears.

"It's alright," She murmured, "please come in." In my head, I told myself to run, get out of this room, didn't I hate hospitals? But my feet righted themselves despite my protest. She was crying, I couldn't just leave her here while she sobbed.

"Uh...my name is Daagana, I'm the ambassador from Suna. I was just looking for Inuzuka Kiba's room." I trailed off.

"It's the next room on the right." She squeaked turning back to the boy in the bed. I felt like I was intruding on something private, but she'd told me to come in, so I couldn't really just leave now.

"May I ask your name?" I stepped hesitantly to stand beside her and study her better. Her frame was small and fragile and it didn't help that her eyes were white as snow. You can tell so much about a person from their eyes. But not hers.

"Oh, I'm s-sorry." It was almost like she came to life as she stood and offered me a formal bow. "I a-am Hyuuga H-Hinata." Then, like the effort was too much for her, she sank back down into the chair and went back to staring at the boy.

"And who is this?" I motioned towards the boy.

"H-Hyuuga Neji." She answered quietly. Her stutter was strong and I wasn't sure if it was because she was upset about her friend or something else. A very small horrible part of me was just waiting for her white eyes to change color or something, like a mood ring you get in a crane game. Something that would give away her emotion. But they didn't. How lucky she must be, to be able to hide her emotions so easily, unlike myself. Everybody always knows what I'm thinking: Temari, Hiniku, Giia...it doesn't matter how hard I try to hide it, they see right through me. No Daagana, you can't go home to your mother; Yes Daagana, you do deserve that second bowl of ramen; No Daagana, no one will ever love you...

To the right of Neji's bed was a small bowl with three flowers in it, each a different color and type. It was not a vase, but a wide mouth bowl. Two of the three flowers' stems had been cut short to accommodate while the last had no stem at all. It was an off balance assortment.

"Those are beautiful flowers. Do they mean anything?" I asked, trying to take her attention off her sorrow.

"Y-Yes." She squeaked and reached over to touch one of the petals.

"What does this one mean?" I asked and pointed to the pink flower that had many pedals.

"That's a Carnation," She said stroking the flower. "It's the flower that represents the month of January."

"What about that one." I pointed to a white and yellow flower. "What month does that one represent?"

"December. They're called Narcissus." She answered. With each answer, her stutter quieted and she seemed thankfully distracted from Neji. I eyed the last flower, which I knew: a Water Lily.

"Why these specific flowers?" I asked curiously.

"I was b-born in December, hence t-the Narcissus. Neji was born i-in J-July, hence the Water Lily..." She paused.

"What about the last one?" I pressed. She took a deep breath.

"The Carnation for January...His father's birthday." She said and it seemed to have been too much. Her eyes went dull again and she turned back to her sadness. I didn't want her to look so pained, so I tried to get her talking again.

"Where's his fa—"

"He's dead." She said. Her words felt so detached, like when she was told this truth there had been no emotion conveyed with it, therefore that's how she knows it. The sky is blue, the sand is beige, he is dead. Innocuous things that are just fact. It was a mistake on my part to ask a question like that and I slunk quietly back to the door with my tail tucked between my legs, but her small voice halted my step.

"He went after Sasuke-kun and came back...like this." I didn't have to see her face to know that those white eyes were crying now. She'd been so strong for as long as she could, but her strength was spent on a tactless girl who asks too many questions. And it'd be a lie to say I could relate.

"I'm sure he fought bravely." I said over my shoulder.

"How do you know?" She said and turned to me. I chided myself for opening my stupid mouth. How was I supposed to know whether or not he was brave?

"Because...because he completed his mission, no matter the cost." I answered simply. Baki had said to me once that this was the purpose of a Shinobi: to follow orders, and be the tools used by their village.

I glanced back to see if I had caused her tears to fall but she was looking back down at Neji with a small smile on her face. It may have come out of my mouth but I didn't like the answer, and it sat uneasily in my gut when I left and continued to churn as I sat beside Kankurou in Kiba's room a few minutes later. He was resting at the moment and Kankurou was just sitting there...staring at him. My conversation with Hinata still bothered me, and I squirmed under the heavy silence that filled the room.

"Kankurou." I half whispered.

"Hmm?" He grunted. His hazy eyes seemed to open a little more, like I'd pulled him out of a trance.

"Why did you become a Shinobi?"

He turned his head and studied me. When he saw I was serious he turned his gaze over to Kiba's heart monitor. He scratched his cheek and rubbed his head, contemplating his answer.

"It's simple really. Because my dad was. And it was what I was expected to be."

"But don't you get tired of being…well…oh just forget about it." I pulled my knees up into the chair and hugged them.

"Tired of being what?" He asked sincerely.

"Nothing." I muttered. Kankurou sat back in his chair and crossed his arms again.

"You want to know if it's worth it, being a Shinobi." He stated. He propped a foot up on the edge of Kiba's bed and tiled his chair back to balance on the back two legs again. It was unnerving how they could all read me so easily, but I pressed my lips together and nodded. "The fact that you're asking is a good sign. It means you're taking this seriously, and not like the typical Genin."

"Of course I am!" I snapped.

"Most people don't understand so soon, but it makes sense that you're asking now." His gaze faltered and scanned over to the bed on the floor where Akamaru was laying wrapped up just as tight as his master. "Power will always be a natural component of our world, no matter what we do, and with power comes both the good and the bad of society. Bad men want the power to corrupt, good men want the power to save. All very black and white…but…there is grey area. A middle ground where there is no right or wrong, and the lines are all blurred…that's what Shinobi are for. We keep the peace, maintain the balance. Without us, the world would fall to chaos. And I know Baki calls us 'tools' and you may think that harsh, but it's the truth. Ninja were made to be used, to draw the lines again when they get too blurred and paint the world again in black and white."

"And what if I don't want to be used and then blatantly tossed aside! What if I don't want _you_ to be used like that?" I argued.

"You're still looking at it wrong," He shook his head, then added, "and you can't stop anyone else from following their destiny just because you don't like how it's worded." He said, not fazed at all by my outburst. He dropped his chair back to all four legs. It wasn't a reprimand, yet somehow it stung just as much. My affection for these siblings already outweighed my feelings towards the village. Didn't it make sense to him that they were precious to me? I considered them family! No where in Hiniku's big long definition of family did it mention being okay with exploitation! Angrily, I jumped up and fled the room with a huff, and he let me go.

Down the hall I noticed Shikamaru standing in the middle of the hallway, crying. There was no one else around, no mentor or Temari. He was alone. He'd gone on this mission, hadn't he? How did he make it out unscathed when Neji was dying? My breath caught in my throat and I flew back down the hall and out of the hospital. The bright sun greeted me and I glared up at it.

"It was just raining!" I cried. This was too frustrating. Was I a ninja, a tool or a person? Was I all three? Right then, all I felt like was an afterthought. I couldn't be counted on in a fight so they sent me on to the village to wait for the real ninja to come back with the glory. So I wasn't a ninja. And since my powers were so unreliable and untested, I wasn't an adequate tool either. Lastly, I knew I wasn't a person. Giia had made sure of that. I was nothing…I was no one.

 _Make them stop_.

I quickly grabbed the jar of salve and clutched it to my chest. Perhaps…I wouldn't give up on being a person just yet…

"Hey! Get out of the road!" Someone yelled at me. I turned around and- "Get out of the road!" A man bellowed in my face. There was a massive wooden cart he was pulling behind him and I was obviously in his path.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said and retreated to the side of the road. It was a relatively busy street, lined with stalls and vendors, like the left overs from a market. An old woman sitting behind a rug littered with trinkets looked up at me. Her eyes darted to the Suna symbol at my throat and she immediately glared daggers.

"I won't take business from sand bitches." She spat. It was like I didn't hear her correctly at first, because surely she didn't just call me a bitch. My jaw went slack when I realized that she meant exactly what she said.

"What?" I stuttered defensively.

"What? You think just because you weaseled your way back into the our good graces, that we will trust your filthy people blindly like we did last time? Did you really think we would believe you again? After what you did to us?" The woman's face was turning red and her voice only got louder and louder as she insulted my home. She was screaming so hoarsely at me that the people on the street stopped to watch. Those who shared her opinions started to come out of the woodwork and give their two cents. In a matter of seconds, I was surrounded by angry villagers. Scared and confused, I backed myself away, but the continued to follow and surround me. I shouldn't have left the hospital!

"We're just here to help! _Your_ ninja is the one who went rouge!" I tried, as the crowd started shouting insults and curses at me.

"You're ' _help_ ' killed my son!" A man shouted.

"My shop is ruined thanks to your ' _help_ '!" Another woman shouted.

"I have permanent scars from your ' _help_ '!" A ninja shouted.

"You're ' _help_ ' destroyed my family!" A mother shouted and clutched her child. I stared at the little girl in her arms. Her eyes were as big and frightened as mine were. She was holding on to her mother for dear life, and it crossed my mind that I wish I could hold mine.

Suddenly a hand reached out, grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. A man wearing an apron reared his fist back and threw it towards me. I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself that this was just another typical night at home. I would go to the place I always went when Giia had a fit like this. It would be okay, it would be over soon...

Then there was a _whoosh_ , and no pain. When I opened my eyes, I was a hairs breath away from the Konoha flak jacket of Izumo.

"Stop this immediately! By order of the Hokage!" Noble gesture, but there was no stopping now, and even Izumo couldn't stop a mob of angry villagers alone. He was swarmed but he made a hand sign and suddenly copies of him popped up everywhere and began to detain the angry men and women. Shadow Clones. There weren't enough of them though, and as I was pushed back up against a fence, a man broke through Izumo's protection and delivered a bone shattering punch in my direction. Right as his fist would have connected with my face a wall of sand stopped him cold.

"What!" He man shouted and tried to scrape off the sand with his other hand, but it only started to swirl up his arm, going for his face.

"Gaara! _No_!"

* * *

The Hokage eyed Gaara, not severely, but cautiously. She had read all the reports from the raid and all the literature on the hidden sand village, but this _boy_ was no what she was expecting. He may have been even younger than Naruto, but Tsunade was done underestimating this generation. It seemed they would rule the world sooner rather than later, seeing as this _boy_ was the future Kazekage. They stood in the operating room she had just been using.

"Naruto will be fine. The nine tails will keep him alive, no matter what."

"Kyuubi…" Gaara muttered to himself. All along he had known that Naruto was like him, but he hadn't actually given thought to what he possessed.

"Thank you, Gaara…sama." Tsunade got out. He bowed to her, and made a move to leave, but before Tsunade could stop herself, she called him back. She should really find some more self-control. But then Shizune would be out of a job.

"I don't think it's you who's doing that to that girl…" Gaara's eyebrows furrowed dangerously, "But whoever it is," Tsunade wiped her hands on her apron, "You need to end them."

While Daagana sat with Temari outside Akimichi Choji's operation room, Gaara went to find Lee in his room. According to the doctors, his room was not among the emergency suites, because he had been there so long, it room was on a different floor. Gaara was told that after the preliminaries, Lee was damaged almost beyond repair and it was only after Tsunade performed a challenging and life threatening procedure, did Lee even have a chance of becoming a ninja again…and it was all Gaara's fault. It made his stomach do flips when he first faced Lee after hearing the news but Lee of course, didn't care, didn't bother to accept his apology. A lesson was learned and he only gave Gaara his blinding smile in return.

"So..." Lee said as a medical-nin tended to his minor cuts and bruises. "Daagana seems... _nice_." Gaara leaned against the wall and stared out the large window beside Lee's bed. He grunted in response. Lee, being the determined, youthful, spandex-wearing ninja that he was, wouldn't stand for Gaara's meaningless grunt. "When did you meet her?" Lee asked as the medical-nin finished up.

"Before." Gaara answered shortly. He didn't know why but he didn't like all these questions.

"Where did you meet her?" Lee asked as the medical-nin left and closed the door behind him.

"Suna."

"Why did she come if not to fight?" Another annoying question. This one, however, was delicate. Gaara's mind fought between telling the truth, which was that he didn't _want_ Daagana to fight, or lie and make up some random story that he knew Lee wouldn't buy. It was obvious which Gaara should have chosen, but instead he chose the latter.

"She was scared." Gaara lied. It only took a couple of moments for Gaara to see that Lee didn't believe him.

"Gaara-kun, do not be ashamed but," Lee stood to face his friend, "From what I saw, if she does not fear even you, I do not believe it was because she was afraid."

Gaara's first reaction was to be angry, but he simmered and sorted through his thoughts. Lee was insinuating that Gaara was frightening, and that if Daagana was brave enough to throw herself at him in public without a second thought, she was brave enough to face anything. Gaara supposed it was mostly true, but Daagana had never seen the Shukaku, and he was hoping to keep it that way for the rest of forever.

"Gaara-kun?" Lee placed his hand on Gaara's shoulder. "We can leave now." Gaara nodded and followed his bushy browed friend out the door. They parted ways at the entrance. Lee was going to do five hundred laps around the village to atone for not defeating Kimmimaru. Not interested, Gaara went back into the hospital and rounded the corner to Choji's operating room but stopped abruptly. Standing in front of him was Nara Shikamaru, crying. Gaara stared at him in utter confusion. Shikamaru was pessimistic but Gaara always thought that he was able to control his emotions. Temari was behind him sitting on a bench. A man who looked identical to Shikamaru was leaning on the wall opposite Gaara, and last...The 5th Hokage was sitting on the other bench in the hallway. The sign above Choji's room was dark. He was going to be fine.


	13. You Just Need to Breathe

**Sometimes You Just Need to Breathe**

Temari caught Gaara looking around the waiting room with a hapless look on his face, and she stood up and started in his direction. She stopped behind Shikamaru and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"It a failing success." She whispered in his ear, and then continued on to Gaara.

"They brought in Naruto," Temari's eyes sparkled, "He's alive." Despite already having been assured by the Hokage, hearing it himself was a relief.

"What room?" He asked.

"I don't know. Shika...maru," She coughed the rest of his name out, "You know where it is. Take Gaara to see Naruto." Shikamaru sniffed and wiped his face.

"Whatever." He said quietly, and started down the hall. Gaara looked at Temari who was staring him down, and concluded that Daagana was right about the two of them. He had been expecting to see Daagana on Temaris' coat tails but she was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Daagana?" Gaara hissed at Temari.

"She went to check up on Kankurou and Kiba a while ago." Temari shrugged. Gaara retreated down the hallway in the direction of Kiba's hospital room. Shikamaru gave Gaara Naruto's room number and then disappeared. While a guide would have been helpful, Gaara figured he'd find it himself eventually. And anyway, he wanted Daagana to meet him.

"Nope. She left a while ago." Kankurou told Gaara, relaxing back in his chair.

"Who did?" Kiba asked from his bed. He'd woken up a little while ago and immediately asked for Akamaru. The little puppy was mewling softly in his lap as he pet his ears and any other patch that wasn't bandaged.

"Gaara's girlfriend." Kankurou teased, but Gaara didn't have time to argue with them. Not that he would anyway, but he was starting to...become concerned. Future Kazekages do not panic...they simply become concerned.

"Where did she go?" Gaara growled at his big brother.

"No idea. She did leave in an uproar, though. And," Kankurou paused, "she asked me something out of character for her."

"What?" Kiba asked, interested.

"She wanted to know if it was worth it, being a Shinobi." Kankurou shrugged.

"Worth it?" Kiba's ears perked up.

"Gana's not like us. She's from 'Poor Side'. No clan or anything. We thought making her a Shinobi would be the best thing for her, but I guess now I'm no so sure..."

Standing at the window in the room, Gaara wanted to ridicule his brother for sharing their private matters with anyone so flippantly, but he didn't have time. All he knew was that people were running down the street with angry looks on their faces.

With as much poise as he could, he left Kiba's room without another word and fast walked to the hospital entrance. But it wasn't fast enough! In the middle of the hallway, between some very bewildered nurses, Gaara exploded into a ball of sand and flew out of the hospital on the wind. There, just down the road was a very angry mob. And smack-dab in the middle was Daagana. Gaara completely threw the whole non-panicking thing out the window and blew down the street like a summer sand storm. By the time he conjured a protective wall and flung it her way, all he could see was red. How dare they? _How dare they_! His sand stopped a fist that was about to hit her face, and then wrapped around the wrist of the villager who owned it. The sand twisted up his arm and squeezed. Gaara was about to sand coffin the life out of the old man, but he heard—

 _"Gaara! No!"_

Yashamaru's face lit up before Gaara's eyes, and then…the oddest disconnecting sensation, like fingers through matted hair. His sand was being sloughed off the man's arm by lacy fingers of darkness. It was Daagana. Daagana sent her shadow through his sand and dispersed it. It was quick, and he wasn't sure anyone else saw, but as soon as the man was free, he fell back in horror and Daagana flung herself in Gaara's general direction.

She had the ability to get through Gaara's sand. He caught her in his arms in a stupor. She was crying and mumbling his name but he was too shocked to realize that he may have scared her. She could get through his sand _effortlessly_.

Gaara's eyes found the villagers once more. They were just normal everyday people. No hidden threat from Shinobi or political disaster. The Hokage's guard was there, panting, but his shadow clones were detaining people. It didn't stop them from glaring, so Gaara stood and stepped forward, facing their angry glares with one of his own. They glowered but none advanced, and then slowly, they began to scatter. Some unknown Suna girl was one thing, but Sabaku no Gaara was a completely different matter. No one wanted to take him on. As a woman turned to stomp a way, a little girl looked back over her shoulder. The child innocently stared him right in the eye. No hatred, no fear. No, those things had to be cultivated. No one was born with anger in their heart. Dreadfully, Gaara wondered if he ever saw that little girl again, would she hate him then?

* * *

I dropped my head when Gaara turned back to me. My tears dropped down into the dirt and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make them stop. Gently, his hand come towards me and brushed the hand I had clutched to my chest. I flinched just the slightest bit, but he saw it and drew his hand back.

"Gaara—" I tried to say but he was stepping back and away.

I didn't mean to shudder. It was a combination of fear and adrenaline. The jar Tsunade-sama had given me must have been made of unbreakable glass because I was gripping it to death, and I didn't want Gaara to see it. Childish of me but, I didn't want him to know that I needed it. I didn't want to admit to him that I had wounds that had yet to heal. Wounds that I was still discovering for myself. There were so many...

And the other part...he was going to kill that man. It was in my defense and would have been completely justified but, I don't know. It was the first time I'd ever seen the Gaara everyone else feared. His reputation preceded him, but I'd never met that demon. After so long, I hardly believed he was real. Yes, it scared me, but not necessarily from Gaara. I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of the power he had...just like I was afraid of my own.

A couple feet away Gaara turned back and motioned for me to follow him. The crowd was gone, Izumo had most of the still unruly villagers detained, so I did so reluctantly. I got up and dusted myself off and walked behind Gaara all the way back to the hospital.

When we arrived he still didn't address me, instead he led me forward into the building and weaved his way through the hallways until he stood in front of a door. We may have taken a wrong turn here or there and made a u-turn more than once, but he never looked back at more or told me where we were going. It was like he didn't know where it was, but he wasn't going to admit that to me.

I kept my head bent when he finally opened the right door, my eyes red but no longer crying. I saw him gesture for me to go in, and I did so obediently. The room was small and had two beds, one of which was empty and the other occupied by a mummy. I could plainly see the yellow hair sticking out on top, but the rest of the body as wrapped up in linens. Gaara lightly pushed on my shoulder, which meant ' _go on_ '. I walked up to the end of the bed and stared at the boy. Gaara closed the door and walk up beside me, but he felt as solid as a pillar of sand. I'd really upset him.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Gaara stated. The boy in the bed snapped open his eyes beamed them right at me. They were big and bright blue and he was grinning at me with a smile that rivaled Lee's.

"Daagana!" The boy cried. He popped right up on the bed like he wasn't injured at all, despite all his bandages. He looked like he was wrapped so tight he could be paralyzed, but he was fine! "It's nice to meet you! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The future Hokage! Believe it!"

I blinked rapidly, hardly believing what I was seeing. _This_ was Naruto? Everything about him was goofy. Spiky yellow hair and those bright blue eyes. After I managed to introduce myself properly he sat staring out the big window beside his bed while Gaara murmured about mission success. I followed the boy's gaze to the clouds, wondering what exactly he was looking at. There was nothing there. The clouds were large and bouncy, having just dumped all their tears on my head, and the sky beyond was as brilliant a blue as his eyes.

"Temari and Shikamaru just left," He said a minute later, "so I got a full debrief already." His eyes never leaving the clouds. "Shikamaru always stares at the clouds." He whispered. That's when I saw it. It confused me for a moment, but a small smile sat on his lips. A secret smile, like he had a hush-hush pact with the clouds he was staring at. I really, _really_ wanted to ask him why he was smiling, but something told me that this was defiantly Naruto. The one and only. Believe it.

* * *

I didn't get much sleep that night, and woke with the sun. Temari and I shared a room in a flat provided to us by the village. The bed felt huge and squishy, and I think I was almost swallowed by it. Part of me wanted to sleep on the floor because that was what I was used to, but that same part knew that if Temari woke up and found me down there, she'd lecture my ear off.

My forehead protector was laying on the bedside table, abandoned there after the long day I had. I poked at it, picked it up, examined it, turned it over in my hands-but it gave me no answers.

The four of us set out around 8 o'clock, the village already alive around us. As we neared the gate, I took my time and glanced at each shop and sign. One sign off to my left caught my eye. _Yamanaka Flowers_. Yamanaka! I groaned suddenly and slapped my forehead.

"What's up?" Temari asked.

* * *

 _Naruto and I burst out laughing. I was giggling so hard my side was starting to hurt._

 _"Ino Pig!" I cried and tried to breathe._

 _"Ino and Sakura have been enemies ever since the academy!" Naruto's whole body shook with laughter._

 _"Haruno Sakura, right?" I asked and he shook his head._

 _"Yep! And Yamanaka Ino. Her family owns a flower shop, I think." Naruto said and rubbed the back of his head._

 _"A flower shop?" I asked curiously._

 _"Yeah! With all kinds of flowers! Even Shinobi Flowers!"_

 _"What's a Shinobi Flower?" I asked. I had never in all my years living with Hiniku heard of a Shinobi Flower. She was an avid flower person seeing as they were used in a lot of medical Jutsus._

 _"Um..." Naruto chucked and I smiled to myself. He had no clue._

* * *

Temari shook my shoulder lightly. "You okay?"

"I forgot to do something!" I said suddenly and bolted for the flower shop.

"Ino! Ino! Ino-!" I called out her name until I ran into the counter. The blonde girl was standing there in an apron, flower in one hand, sheers in the other. She stared at me wide-eyed, and froze mid cut.

"Ino! What flower represents the month of September?" I asked quickly.

"Don't hurt me..." She cowered.

"I'm not gonna hurt—"

"Not you! Him!" She cried and ducked under the counter.

I looked over my shoulder at Gaara, who stood in the entrance. He wasn't in a very happy mood this morning and I knew that he didn't want to be kept waiting. Ino had every right to be scared.

"Come on Ino. He's not gonna hurt you. Now," I said as I leaned over to counter and smiled at her, "Which flower for September?"

I rushed back into the hospital and around the corner. I had to be quick about this because Gaara was getting more annoyed by the second. I charged into Neji's room and found Hinata right where I had left her the day before.

* * *

 _"I'm glad I met you Naruto." I said as I stood in his doorway._

 _"Me too Daagana. Do me a favor...Two actually." I smirked at him and folded my arms._

 _"What are they?"_

 _"One," He held up one finger, "Go and check on Hinata for me. Sakura told me she hasn't left Neji's room since he got out of surgery."_

 _"Okay, and the second one?"_

 _"Take care of Gaara." That one caught me off guard and I cocked my head at him. Gaara had left early on. I knew he wasn't too keen on showing emotion and the only thing Naruto and I were doing goofing off. Laughing, crying, sighing, and being happy. Those things were new to Gaara, too new._

 _"Why do you care about him so much?" I asked a little curious. "He was so intent on killing you. Why aren't you afraid like everyone else?"_

 _"I've been there before. I knew exactly how he was feeling. And now he finally is free from that hell."_

 _"What do you mean?" I stepped forward slightly. "That's how you saved him?"_

 _"Me?" Naruto shook his head. "It wasn't me. It was you," He pointed at me, "You saved him."_

* * *

Quietly as I could, I tiptoed over to the bedside table where the bowl of flowers sat. From my bag I took out the flower I had gotten from Ino. A yellow and purple Aster. I slipped the flower in the vase with the others, but topped it off with a little note I had written.

Hinata woke with a start. The slight ' _click_ ' of a closing door roused her from her dreamless sleep. Her white eyes scanned the room, almost fearful of what she might find. They landed heavily on the vase of flowers and saw that one more had been added. She rose from her chair slowly and approached the flower as if it were her opponent. She took it in her hand carefully and studied it. It was just a flower...and a note. She pulled the note off the flower and placed it back in the water with the others. Carefully she opened the note and her eyes scanned the messy and rushed writing.

 _"Dear Hinata,"_

I ran back down the stairs and back to my group.

"You done yet?" Kankurou whined. I nodded quickly and looked back up at the hospital.

"Let's go then." Temari said and the 4 of us walked back towards the entrance.

 _"I wanted to go back and fix what I said yesterday about Neji. I don't know if Neji was brave or not, because I don't know Neji like you do. But I do know that Neji is a true Shinobi. He is a ninja, a tool and a person."_

Finally we passed under the large gate and entered the forest. I turned back often, wondering if it would be the last time I saw this beautiful village.

"Come on Daagana. You're going the speed of a snail." Temari cried. She was already getting small and I ran to catch up with them.

 _"And because of Neji, I learned that I shouldn't be afraid to face the struggles of this path, because that's what makes it worthwhile. That's why fighting for a cause gives someone so much passion. Because they know that the people who care about you are there to back you up. Even through the hard times. Hard times being those like these. Yes, Neji could have died, but as a Shinobi, we understand that sometimes that's the sacrifice we have to make for the people that we care about—"_

Hinata didn't have to read any further to know whom this note was from. She leapt from her chair and out the door as fast as she could. She hopped down the steps two at a time as she exited the hospital and tore through the streets until the village gate came into view. Off in the distance, she could make out the silhouette of four figures. She silently prayed for their safety as she held the note close to her chest.

"That is my way nindo." She whispered to herself. This would be her way.

I looked back just once more, and saw what I was hoping to see. A lone figure stood at the gates entrance. Just standing...and watching. I turned and waved my arms in the air in one final good-bye. 'It's not forever.' I told myself as I turned back to my group. 'I'll see them again.'

And that was the last time I looked back.

* * *

My good fortune didn't last as long as I would have hoped. By the time we reached the edge of the forest it was already sun down and Gaara hadn't even looked at me. While we walked Temari had tried to start conversations with me, but my short, open ended answers soon discouraged her. My main emotion at the time was confusion. I just couldn't wrap my mind around why Gaara was so mad at me. Upset that I cowered away from him, sure, but mad? I didn't start the fight...I didn't end it either. What puzzled me to no end was why he bothered to save me at all, if he was going to act this way. I was his teammate, his companion, his friend, his lov-

I stopped myself from going that far. No way on earth was I going to get my hopes up for something like that. Something that would never happen.

I brought up the rear as we all walked in single file. Gaara led us and behind him was a very concerned Temari. She would glance back at me from time to time with that worried expression of hers. Behind her was Kankurou who, like always, didn't have a clue as to what was going on. He just waltzed on with his hands behind his head without a care in the world...Maybe not. Kiba was in the hospital, so maybe he gait was a little heavy and his fingers laced too tightly. He was worried too. And of course, I was behind him, wallowing in my own self-pity.


	14. The Gone Girl

**The Gone Girl**

By the time the four of us pitched our makeshift tent and set up camp, the sun, that I didn't have time to watch set, had already set. We camped at the very edge of the wood, the desert on one side, and the forest on the other. Same with my heart. And that was surely going to be my fate when we arrived home. I just couldn't wait to see what Giia thought. Of course Giia. I had spent so much time around Temari and Hiniku that I actually forgot about her. Forgot about her for pete's sake! I had forgot about my mother, my only family...and it was the best time of my life. I went on missions! I had a purpose! I met new people! I met Naruto...

I curled up in a little ball beside Temari as we settled in for the night. The thin blanket that covered me wasn't doing its job very well and I shivered.

"Here." Temari leaned over and spread another blanket over me. "Packed an extra just in case." It helped but my shivering wasn't necessarily due to the cold, and I think we both knew that. She laid a hand on my shoulder and sighed, like she wanted to ask but knew she shouldn't. I wanted her to, I wanted to confess to her that I didn't know what I did to make him so mad at me, and I wanted her to tell me how to fix it. But reluctantly, she said,

"Good night Daagana." And laid back down.

"Night Gana." Kankurou waved from the other side of Temari.

"...night..." I whispered.

When I closed my eyes, all I could see was the darkness looming in every corner of my mind. It loomed on my life, on my feelings, on my thoughts, on my situation and...on my faith in myself. From my own experience, looming darkness was never a good sign. Because you can't see in the dark, it blinds you. I never understood those who enjoyed the dark. Those like Orochimaru or Uchiha Sasuke. How could they live like that? So far away from the light and warmth of anything. Of course, when I thought about it...Gaara once lived in darkness. I cracked open my eyes and looked out to where he had been sitting, only to find he had vanished. I sighed and laid my head back down. Perhaps...he was still in that darkness...

 _'YOU AND YOUR FILTHY PEOPLE-'_

I shot up from my roll. My head was spinning and my eyes wouldn't focus. The darkness felt as if it was tumbling around me like a fog, shifting and wheezing.

"What the..." I whispered and cradled my head in my hands until the night went still. When I looked up again and scanned my surroundings, a strange feeling hit me. Something was out there in the darkness...and it was watching me. The little hairs on the back on my neck tickled as I felt eyes roam over me. By the black sky I could safely say I had fallen asleep. But for a ninja, sleep wasn't really safe. It only meant that you were vulnerable and easy for picking.

We had attached the tarp to three trees that had grown close together. It stretched over me, shrouding me in shadows. Temari was still laying beside me asleep, clearly unaware of any danger, but I could feel that something was wrong. Kankurou moaned a bit, but he was the same. Neither of them ever had to wonder who would protect them at night, they always had someone on duty.

I stood slowly, trying not to make a sound as I stepped easily over our camp and out from under the cover of the tarp. Milky moonlight shot down at me through the branches of the tall trees. They stood huge and forbidding as I wandered farther and farther from the safety of the camp. A hazy thought occurred to me when I lost sight of the tarp completely. This odd feeling, those eyes...it could be Gaara. I stopped short and swallowed the lump in my throat. But if it was, why did I have such a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach? He was upset with me sure, but this was not the feeling the forest was amplifying. Leafs seemed to hang lopsided, like they were pretending to be hanging bodies. The roots were large and formless, like a monster waiting in the dark.

Malice! The whole world was screaming in anger. My blood was going cold and my heart was beating like a drum, but I forced myself to keep going. One foot after another in any direction they wished to go. Tree after tree, shadow after shadow until eventually they all looked the same. They all looked like death.

* * *

She should have been used to it by now, but sleeping on her side always made Temari's hip hurt. She shifted on her mat with a grunt. She usually knew better, but she'd had to put whatever was going on with her family to her back. Sometimes you just have to sleep through it. They could go to bed angry if they wished, she just wanted sleep! She'd fix it in the morning...but the night was colder than she expected.

"Daagana, can you share?" Temari mumbled as she turned to the middle. No answer. "Gana-" Temari's eyes tiredly slipped open, tumbling over to the empty bed roll beside her. This didn't compute at first. At first, she only saw the blanket she wanted, but then wondered why there were two extra blankets. "Daagana?" Temari sat up with a snap. Nighttime made her words feel hollow, and no one answered. Alarmed, Temari got up and walked around camp. She checked behind trees, down by the little creek they'd spotted earlier, their latrine...but Daagana was no where to be found. By the time she got back to the tarp, she was panicking. She didn't even bother to be delicate as she kicked her brother awake.

"Wake up! She's missing!" Kankurou was up and in attack mode in an instant, bewildered and grunting.

"What the hell is going on?" He hissed, rubbing his ribs when he saw that they weren't under attack.

"Look around, don't you see anything wrong?" Temari gestured snobbishly. Sensing this test would either lead to or prevent violence, Kankurou scanned the area. When he looked back at his sister, he shrugged.

"So? Gaara's probably up in a tree somewhere waiting it out. Why are you so freaked?" Temari was going to yell at him, but he'd managed to point out something even she had missed: Gaara was missing as well. She truthfully hadn't noticed his absence.

"This is bad!" She started muttering to herself and bit her thumbnail.

"Aw! Come on, Temari," Kankurou said and laid back down, "They're probably off making out somewhere." At least he noticed that Daagana was missing. She had to give him credit for that.

"They haven't even held hands!" Temari cried and stomped her foot. She was throwing a right tantrum. "What if she's in danger?"

"If she's in danger, Gaara will destroy the forest. Seriously, what's your problem?" He gave her an accusing look.

"We don't know that they're together." She argued.

"And we don't know that they're not?" He threw back.

"I don't think they are..." Temari said quietly, and Kankurou didn't respond to that. It wasn't like he'd missed whatever was going on between those two, but well...he figured it would work itself out. Love was fickle and ridiculous like that.

With a heaving sigh, he stood. Of all the times he had to be the big brother, it had to be at like five in the morning. The second he grabbed his shoe, Temari was already tearing down camp. By the time he had the second one on, they were packed and ready to go.

"When we find them together, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind. And you-" He pointed hotly at Temari. "are going to carry me back to Suna."

* * *

Out in the desert, there are still people who don't wish to convert to the Shinobi way. Ojiisan used to call them the ' _Old Ones_ '. He took Hiniku and I out to one of their bonfires one night. We took a wagon pulled by a camel that was bumpy and uncomfortable. Hiniku and I huddled under a blanket for warmth as the cold desert night fell around us. The sands and dunes turned a palette of cool blues, and the stars came out into a purple grey sky. And we sat in the back of that wagon for what felt like hours, bumping and jostling. I'd wanted to invite Giia but Hiniku said no and I was still a little cross with her. So when a flicker of fire light danced around the railing of the wagon, I missed it through my brooding. But then Ojiisan poked us both and made us turn around.

It was the biggest fire I had ever seen. Orange flames flew into the sky with purpose, while smaller blue flames lulled at the bottom and swayed sensually. I remember having the overwhelming urge to throw myself in it. Not to die, but to be apart. I wanted to be ignited and brilliant. Hiniku and I looked at each other, both seeing the awe in the other's face. We made up instantly in a fit of excited giggles.

Around the fire, a chain of people danced, arms linked together, kicking and twirling. It was like the harder they danced, the more the fire burned. It was a ritual of sorts, as if they were summoning the blaze. Behind them another circle of people sat on wooden stumps, clapping their hands and singing happily. Bowls of fruit and sweet meat were being passed around with jugs of hot sake and water. Ojiisan took part in the sake as he sat with some old friends. Hiniku and I had tried to join in the dancing, but there was no way either of us could follow the rhythm of their stomping feet, so we danced and chased each other around the stumps and pretended we were made of fire.

I could still feel the cadence of the fire song, like a heart beat. And I could hear it now, in the darkness of the forest. The night seemed to swirl like the blue fire at the bottom of the pyre, sensual and lethargic. Formless, shapeless shadows seemed to dance through my path and then disappear as quickly as they were born. They laughed at me and taunted me. I was wandering through their world, what was I thinking? The ground beneath my feet felt like sand instead of earth, all shifty and loose. Even when I heard the crunch of leaves, it felt like my foot sank into them.

I tripped. Throwing my arms out blindly, I grabbed a tree to save myself. It was rough under my hands and I pressed my face to it in solidarity. It felt real. It must be real. The darkness couldn't play tricks with what I felt. But it was a lie, because the moment I felt safe, a prickling cold slithered over my shoulder and up my arm, like someone was grabbing the back of my neck. I tried to pull back, but it held me fast, face now smashed against the bark. I let out a muffled scream before the wood gave way and started to pull me in. I kicked and punched as it absorbed me, but more shadow hands lassoed my arms and legs. In a moment, I was nothing more than a fingertip sticking out of a tree knot.

It had swallowed me whole.

* * *

Gaara had found his peace on the lowest hanging branch of a massive weeping willow. It's roots crawled up against the bank of a small pond that was still and quiet in the night. It wouldn't be long before the sun would rise and he'd have to torture himself all over again. He grimaced as he tore off a leaf and shredded it, throwing bits and pieces down to cause ripples in the water. What was he even doing this for? When his sister was conflicted (and a child) she used to pull the petals off of desert flowers and mumble to herself; yes or no, yes or no. So Gaara mumbled to himself: "Stop or go. Stop or go." The leaf was gone before he realized and the last crumb was a 'Go'. He pulled another leaf and tried again. "Stop or go. Stop or-"

"Daagana's Gone!"

Gaara nearly fell off his branch as Temari and Kankurou came sprinting up out of the darkness. The whole leaf was in the water now as he looked between his siblings.

"What do you mean she's gone?" He hissed and stood.

"I woke up and she was gone! So were you! You were gone too and...and-" Temari stammered.

"Bottom line, why isn't she with you?" Kankurou asked and crossed his arms, agitated.

"I left her in your care." Gaara fired back, dousing his panic. _He_ was not the one who let her wander off!

"She's not a freaking pet, Gaara!" Temari yelled and he was shocked to see a glimmer in the corner of her eye. "You made it very clear that you weren't interested in even breathing the same air as her! What the hell happened?" Both boys stared at their sister. She was breathing hard and her knuckles were going white. She was so upset that Kankurou took the smallest step back, just for good measure of course. She wouldn't really attack him...maybe.

But there was nowhere for Gaara to retreat to. He looked to Temari and knew she expected an explanation, even though he understood that she was not going to like his answer. She had been for the idea. Finally, with a sigh, Gaara admitted, "Villagers attacked her."

"Wait, what?" Kankurou balked.

"When she left the hospital, she was confronted by citizens who were still upset about the raid. They swarmed her."

"The Hokage assured us that she would be-" Temari tried to argue.

"The Hokage's assigned guard was with her, but he did not have the situation under control." Gaara crossed his arms and tried his best not to think about how his vision had clouded over and he'd nearly killed that man.

"So, what? You think Daagana ruined the mission? Hurt the relations between the Sand and Leaf even more?" Kankurou asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"No," Gaara shook his head, "But I…"

"You what?" Temari asked.

"I tried to protect her. It got out of hand—"

"You didn't!" Kankurou cried.

"No I _didn't_ …because she stopped me." There was a slight pause as the siblings all looked at each other.

"You mean you stopped yourself for her?" Temari asked, hopefully. That couldn't be too far from the truth, could it?

"No." Gaara snapped. " _She_ _stopped me_."

"How exactly did she stop you?" Kankurou asked. When he didn't answer, Kankurou dropped it. Perhaps it wasn't the right time, but he was frankly sure as hell that they double checked Daagana's academy transcript. She shouldn't be able to perform any sort of high level Jutsu. And there was no such skill that could cut through Gaara's sand!

"But what was the point of making us all think you were mad at her?" Temari asked, but Kankurou was the one who figured it out first.

"It's an excuse." Kankurou realized and Gaara grimaced. "You want to use it as a reason to take away her Shinobi status." It wasn't like Gaara hadn't expected them to figure it out, but he had to hand it to his brother for spelling it out so evenly. His sister on the other hand-

"But that's why we made her a ninja!" Temari cried. "If she's not a ninja she has to stay in the village with Giia! And I can't protect her if I'm not there!" Gaara didn't even want to touch the subject of Temari claiming protective rights over Daagana, but he sent her a pointed look, as if to say 'later'. He had a plan for Giia, in fact he had this all played out in his head. Not this particular bit, but their arrival in Suna would be step by step to his timing: they would make it back, he would take the error to Baki, Baki would heed his word and revoke Daagana's status, Gaara would then proceed to wherever Giia was hiding in the city and...make her disappear. He promised himself that he would not kill her-at first. If she put up a fight, well then there was really nothing he could do. It was fair game at that point. After that, Daagana could return to making ramen with fish cakes and Temari wouldn't have sole rights to her protection. It was a well thought out plan of attack. But this whole debacle was only managing to screw it all up.

"We will sort this out later. Right now we have to find her." Gaara ordered. He put as much authority into his voice as he could and his siblings responded stoically.

"Fine." Temari growled. "But once we find her, we _will_ discuss this." With a communal nod, the three jumped away in opposite directions, leaving just the crumbled pieces of leaves to float across the pond.

' _Go_.'

* * *

"This is ridiculous. Where did she go?" Kankurou slumped down at the base of a tree at the edge of the forest.

"I don't understand either. I know she thinks you're mad at her," Temari said to Gaara, "But she wouldn't just run away. She's not like that." The three ninja searched all night and still couldn't find a trace of Daagana anywhere. "It's been hours. She could be miles away by now, and we still have a mission to complete." Temari sighed.

"No." Gaara snapped. "We're not leaving until we find her." Both siblings looked at him wistfully.

"But we have to. We still have to report the mission to Baki, and check on the village. You're gonna be Kazekage remember? You need to think about the village's safety as well as Daagana's—"

"Don't tell me what I already know!" Gaara barked at his sister. "I know my place as the Kazekage of the sand, but I also know that—"

"We get it, Gaara. This is what your heart is telling you to do, but your brain is telling you to take up your responsibilities." Kankurou shrugged. Gaara glared over at him, half for interrupting him and half for stating it so plainly. He reached up and gripped the chest above his heart, remembering for once, the advice Yashamaru had given him as a child. Sometimes, a wound of the heart can never heal…

"Come on Gaara. We all know you like her." Kankurou stood and gestured towards his brother. "You can't be ashamed of it."

"I am not." Gaara said and straightened.

"Gaara, we get that emotions are still new to you." Temari said and placed a hand on Gaara's shoulder. "I understand that you want to find her, fall to your knees before her and apologize..." Temari imagined the sight and almost laughed. Gaara was eyeing her like an idiot.

"But," She quickly recovered, "we are Shinobi. We have orders. I promise you the second we report and give our update, we will be back in this damn wood looking for her." Gaara's head swirled with the decision. He knew that his siblings expected him to decide, but his heart and mind were battling. He hated this feeling, like his stomach was tearing itself in two.

"And if it helps..." Kankurou said, "We'll follow you no matter what you decide."

That struck home for Gaara as he looked back and forth between his brother and sister. Never had he acknowledged their devotion to him until now. They were always with him. In the beginning it had been out of requirement, but lately, they _hung out_ with him because they wanted to. Kankurou teased him, Temari lectured him, Baki grumbled at him. It was like they saw him as the person he'd wanted to be for years.

He made his decision.

"We go back to the village. We account for the mission, then come back and find her." Temari and Kankurou nodded in agreement. Gaara was coming around. He'd make a fine leader yet.


	15. The Stars Can't Shine

**Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness**

Sand. It was all this damn sand. The grains of the desert rose up in Temari's face as she and her brothers walked along the top edge of a dune.

"Just over that crest." She yelled behind her. Just over the crest was home.

Temari never used to consider it home. Sure, it was where she was born, where she grew up. But after her mother died, it wasn't home. Things started to change when they added all these new people: Gana, Hiniku, Baki, this new Gaara. Never had her village's hateful looking walls seemed so...welcoming.

She caught herself making plans for when she returned: She'd get a bowl of ramen after the debrief and chide Hiniku for something or other. She'd hit the hot springs for a bath before they set out again. Seriously, if she wasn't still so worried, she would kick Daagana's butt for this. Temari shot a glance back at Gaara as he trudged between them. His face was a bit slack and the black bags under his eyes only seemed bigger. Temari was going to kick Daagana's ass for sure.

Kankurou pulled up the rear of the line as they braved the final dune. He and Temari had smartly placed Gaara between them, in case he got to ambitious and went ahead or wallowed in his depression and fell behind. So far he had attempted both more than once, and more than once Kankurou had to face his fading fear of his little brother. Gaara was a human being, Kankurou could see that now. All those years of not being able to look him in the eyes must have done some real damage and Kankurou was only beginning to see the dent he made in Gaara's armor. It was a deep hole that Kankurou had embedded in Gaara's heart when...when his own brother wouldn't look at him out of shame. Kankurou tightened his fingers on the back of his head as they approached home. The same thoughts had been running through his mind the whole time and he couldn't help but wonder...was it too late to apologize? Was it even something he could apologize for?

Gaara's mind was frozen. Half because he was afraid of the things he would think of, and half because he was afraid of the things he wouldn't think about, such as: The safety of the village. He knew that if his siblings hadn't been a step ahead of him he would be back in that forest right now, looking for something that obviously wasn't there. He knew by the way Temari held herself that she was eager to get home. Also when he looked back at Kankurou, Gaara could tell by the way his head was bent that he was having some issues of his own. None of the three were paying attention when they passed through the gates of their own home.

"Gaara!" Baki slammed his fists on the table in the admin building. His brown robes only made his red face seem more ruddy, only the half you could see of course. "You are a day late. What is the meaning of this?" But Gaara wasn't in the mood to answer. As his brother and sister had promised, they'd gone straight to the mission HQ for debrief.

"We have our reports." Temari said stiffly as she laid out three scrolls on the desk."The Hokage will deliver her's by falcon in the coming week."

"Very well. Now, to the other matter." Baki laced his fingers, hardly sparing a glance for the scrolls.

"Other matter?" Kankurou asked.

"I'll have you know, Daagana arrived yesterday at midnight and reported directly to me per your order, although she gave me no explanation for your late arrival." He eyed each of them curiously.

* * *

 _He shouldn't have still been at the office in the middle of the night, but time flies when you're trying to bury the past. There was a knock on his office door, and when Baki opened it, he found Daagana. She was freshly bathed and the scent of Jasmine nearly assaulted him._

 _"Report." She said and handed him a scroll. Baki took it angrily, mad that she had interrupted him, when she could have just handed it in to the ninja assigned to the mission desk._

 _"Where are the others?" He said as he untied the scroll and began to read the first lines._

 _"They sent me ahead." She answered. Then she handed him another bundle, bowed, and left._

* * *

"What was in the package?" Kankurou asked, hoping he didn't know the answer.

"Her headband and exit papers. She cited a riot as the reason-" Baki went on fluidly, testing the waters. Something seemed off here but he couldn't be sure.

"She quit?" Kankurou's gaped.

"On her own?" Temari echoed. They both turned to look at Gaara, whose face was still slack, eyes still dark, but there was no trace of the torture from before. Now his whole self was thrumming with _regret_. What the hell had he done? He shouldn't have played this game! Emotions were still too new, too foreign. How stupid of him to think he could manipulate them just as he did anything else on the battlefield.

But this had been what he wanted, wasn't it? This was why he'd pretended to be mad, so she would submit to his decision. But now the whole thing just made him feel like he was going to throw up. She'd up and left without his explanation, without hearing why he'd done it. He might never see her again, and her last thoughts of him would be...fear!

"Where is she?" Temari asked quickly, turning back to Baki.

"I do not keep track of her." Baki snorted.

"Where is she?" Temari shouted. She knew full well that like Kankurou and her, Baki had taken extra care to keep track of Giia and Daagana.

Baki sighed in defeat. Perhaps his attempts to block this girl were over whelmed by pride. He knew something was wrong when Daagana checked in by herself. He knew there was no way that they would send her on ahead unless the need was dire. During their weekly sessions, he had grown more attached than he anticipated. She was not a normal pre-teen child. She was meek and easily swayed. She did everything he asked of her in reference to her power and their data was thick. So yes, he knew where she was. He made it a point to always know where she was.

"After her check in, she returned to her place of employment." Baki said.

"Was there anything else?" Gaara hissed and his siblings looked at each other in alarm. They knew that voice.

"No, you are dismissed." Baki said, and the three disappeared from his office.

* * *

"We have to hurry." Temari said as the three rushed down the streets of the Sand Village.

"There it is!" Kankurou cried and pointed to the ramen shop that was quickly approaching.

"Daaga-...Hiniku?" Temari stopped mid-cry as she saw Hiniku sitting on a bar stool. She was clutching something...

"Is that a spatula?" Kankurou pointed out. Hiniku's only response was a soft sob and a loud gulp.

"Where is Daagana?" Gaara approached Hiniku without much thought for her situation. "Where is-"

"Will you please just shut up!" Hiniku suddenly cried. Gaara reeled back quickly at the sudden outburst. "Why would I be here if I knew where she was?" Hiniku sobbed. Watery streaks fell down her cheeks in streams. She clutched the metal spatula with all her might and held it close to her. "Do you think I would just sit here and let her go, like that?" Temari quickly advanced forward and placed an arm around Hiniku.

"Like how? What happened?" She whispered.

"Her eyes… _her eyes_." Hiniku said and simply broke. Her spirit and perhaps her mind, snapped, and the siblings knew that she couldn't say anymore on the subject.

Kankurou watched as Temari hugged Hiniku, letting the girl sob into her shirt.

"Gaara," he turned to see his brother studying the girls with a detached expression, "She's not here. We need to check ' _Poor Side_ '. Giia could be—"

"I am well aware." Gaara replied with a snap. But still his feet didn't move.

"Well come on!" Kankurou cried and grabbed his brother's arm. "You made this mess now it's your job to fix it."

"If she had wanted to be found, than why-" Gaara tried to reason but Kankurou dragged him forward.

"Will you shut up? You can ask her when we find her."

* * *

The ground was cold and welcoming to my burning face. I pressed my eye as close to the floor as I could and curled into a tight little ball. The world still spun and churned, like those hands in the forest had followed me here. No, they brought me here. Even resting on the ground my insides felt like I was tossing and turning, spinning in circles. My eyes swam between the bleary images around me and the fuzzy thoughts in my head.

 _"This is not working." A voice said. "That bitch must have been lying about the curse."_

 _"No, her Chakra network is a mess. Perhaps it's just time for a different approach."_

The voices…they were so loud!

"Pitiful, pitiful Daagana." Giia's voice taunted me as it circled me like a buzzard. "Don't you realize that you can't beat me?"

"Don't you realize," I struggled to say due to my bloody lip, "That I haven't been trying to?" That was the only fact that I couldn't seem to put through her head. I wasn't fighting back. I didn't deserve to be punished! Giia sent her foot down into my face with a nice solid kick.

"Not fighting back?" Giia growled as she smeared my face around with her toes. "Where have you been this last week? How about the last couple of months?" She spat. "You call frolicking around with the Kazekage not fighting back? You stupid, stupid girl!" Her foot collided with my stomach and I rolled over on my back. I choked as blood bubbled in the back of my throat, making me gag.

"Whatever you think of him is pointless." Giia switched, humming innocently as she bent down beside me. Her long blond hair looked like a streak of lightning against the rotating darkness. She grabbed hold of a fistful of my hair and yanked up so I was looking at her. She was still so beautiful, even as she killed me, so so beautiful.

"You will not be around long enough to see how little he actually thought of you." She grinned. I bit down on a scream as she pulled my head up then slammed it back into the wood floor. Blood pooled around the hole that was now present in my skull. "Be quiet, Daagana!"

 _"Now, we're getting somewhere!" The voices! Hazy sickening colors started to pop in my vision like I was having a heat stroke. She must have given me a concussion, because Giia evaporated like the swirling shadows and another shapeless figure took her place. "You're quite the resilient one, aren't you?"_

* * *

"When will you learn?" Giia roared as I collided with the wall after her kick, then fell back to the ground with a thud. She was back. I tried to blink, to shake my head, to clear away the confusion. She'd disappeared. She'd reappeared. The voices came and went. They kept saying 'Keep going, why won't she learn, how much more can she take?'

"What did you think was going to happen?" Giia asked as she advanced towards me again. I scooted away as best I could but she caught me by my bloody hair once more. "What? Did you honestly think he liked you? That any of them did?" She laughed. It was a triumphant snort, one that said she had claimed her victory. "Believe me honey! Nobody cares about you!" I gasped for air. It felt like my throat was closing and no air was getting through. She continued to say things like that:

'They pitied you.' Or 'Why would they look twice at you? You're nothing.' And 'They lost interest in you already, wasn't that right?' And last 'Why else would he have been so mad?'

"Stop!" I screamed. Even to my own ears I heard my voice crack with anguish. A fresh wave of tears burned at the back of my eyes as I screamed. "You can have him! Just please stop!"

Slowly her fingers slipped out of my bloody hair and she took a step back. I could feel her stare on me as I recoiled and curled up into a little ball.

"Now that's what I wanted to hear." Giia chuckled and then I heard her walk away.

 _"I think that was too much. Quick, we're almost out of time! Seal it!"_

* * *

"How much further?" Gaara asked uneasily. He and Kankurou tore through 'Poor Side' looking for anything that could give them an indication of where Daagana went. Temari stayed back to take Hiniku to the hospital and was going to meet them later.

"We're never going to find her blind. We need a tracker, or a seeker Jutsu of some kind." Kankurou groaned.

Gaara rounded a corner and slowed. He let out an irritated sigh. They had been at this corner already. Suddenly to his left he heard a loud crash.

"What was that?" Kankurou called from behind him. Gaara was already on his way to the hut where the noise came from. It was obviously one roomed and had one window that was covered with a drape. The door was simply made of a cheap piece of wood and as Gaara advanced, the wood stood no chance. He punched right through the door and flung the scrap away for him to see inside. Needless to say it wasn't what he was expecting.

Kankurou came up behind his brother quickly and looked over his shoulder.

"Shit!" He cried. Before them was a naked man and woman who had just obviously been interrupted during a passionate round of love making. His brotherly instincts kicked in and he covered Gaara's eyes with his hand. Come on! He was only 13! "Sorry!" He said to the couple, who were trying to cover themselves as the two Shinobi quickly backed out.

Back on the road, Kankurou rubbed his face with his hands. That was an image he was never going to get out of his head.

"What were they doing?" Gaara asked and Kankurou fell to the ground with a twitch. There was no way _he_ was going to be the one to tell his little brother about the birds and the bees.

* * *

"We need to move her now." The medical ninja informed the sand nin. After Gaara and Kankurou's little sex-ed adventure, they summoned a tracker ninja who led them to a shack behind a brothel. There had been a burst of Chakra as the Sand Shinobi descended upon the hut, and three figures escaped. Kankurou and Baki were still in pursuit.

"She's not going to make it." One medic murmured to another, and Gaara couldn't look at them anymore.

Temari, who had followed the medics, rummaged through some of the broken walls and cracked floorboards, but found no trace of Giia. Just blood, lots and lots of blood. And the unmistakable foul stench of Fuuinjutsu. It was a smell she'd never forget. Her mother's hospital room after Gaara was born, her blank laggard face staring at the screaming baby no one would hold. She hated everything about this place. She could barely stand to be there. All Temari could think of was how much _she_ wanted to set fire to it. This was unholy, other worldly. Whatever happened here was akin to what happened to Gaara, and Temari thought she would be sick.

Medics carried the pieces of Daagana out on a stretcher and then transported her via the network to the hospital. Gaara, who seemed like he was in a daze, followed after, one slumping foot at a time.

Temari stepped out, suffocating in that air. The last of the Shinobi went about cataloging the evidence; taking swabs from the blood pools, collecting pictures of the dents in the walls, trapping a sample of the wretched air in a seal for further testing. She knew her people were good at this, but still she asked them over and over when they would be done.

After they finally cleared the scene, Temari lingered, and when they were no longer around, she took a big gulp of air and went back in the hut. On each of the walls, she taped a note and then fled.

When she was out of 'Poor Side' she gave the signal and the hut exploded into a million bloody pieces. There was little else Temari could do but destroy everything.


	16. Something to Be Admired From A Distance

**Something to Be Admired From A Distance**

Temari hated hospitals. Not only had she just sat through Choji's surgery in Konoha only a few days before, but now she was sitting in the Suna hospital twisting a miniature version of her _Kyodai Sensu_ around in her hands. Gaara was standing beside her, his arms crossed and head bent. He hadn't said a word, she hardly thought he was breathing. Baki sent a bird to Konoha requesting whatever advise Tsunade-sama could give on extensive skeletal reconstruction. It'd worked on Lee's legs, surely it could work On Daagana's...everything. They'd been this way since Temari had banished Kankurou.

It was well after sundown by the time her older brother had entered the hospital. The figures fleeing from the hut where they found Daagana had escaped and were lost to the desert, and Kankurou wore the failure like a weight around his neck. Temari had been trying to get Daagana's boss from the ramen shop to settle down in the hallway. He'd followed them when they brought Hiniku from the shop.

"Excuse me for a moment." She said to Daagana's Ojiisan and hurried over to her brother.

"Any news?" He asked hopefully, she shook her head. He let out a grunt to mask whatever feeling he didn't want to reveal, but she grabbed his arm before he could go over and sit by Gaara.

"We may have another problem." Temari whispered.

"What else could go wrong?" He groaned. Temari shot a nervous glance back at Ojiisan and Gaara, who were looking through each other from opposite sides of the waiting room.

"Hiniku was under a Genjutsu." Temari answered. "The minute we brought in Daagana, she started to puke."

"That's not genjutsu," Kankurou corrected, "That's a weak stomach."

"Don't be an idiot." Temari hissed. "Shock is one thing, but she started convulsing and vomiting. It was definitely induced by something."

"Convulsing?" Kankurou cocked an eyebrow.

"Shake uncontrollably?" Temari answered like he was stupid.

"Huh." Was all he said and Temari nearly punched him.

"You're still missing the point."

"It seems like you're setting more fires than we have buckets." He grumbled and pulled his arm from her grasp.

"You are so stu-Ugh!" She gave in. She punched him. And when he was on the ground under her foot she continued to seethed down at him where he couldn't retort.

"Someone did this to her. And supposedly the only person she saw before we got to her was Gana."

"Wait, does that mean—" Kankurou said from under foot but she squashed him some more.

"It means there's something else going on here that we don't know about yet." Temari said. "A fire much too large for my bucket." She growled his analogy back at him.

"Why's the ramen man here?" Kankurou asked when Temari finally released him.

"He's Hiniku's grandfather. Daagana and Hiniku are his only employees. He can't run his shop alone so he has to close until...they get better." Temari looked over at the old man she had left further up the hallway. He was sitting on a padded bench outside his granddaughter's room. He looked very old, and very tired. Those two girls were his only family in the world, and it made sense that he would want to be with them right now. But at the same time, Temari couldn't risk him getting involved with whatever was going on. She looked over her brother once more, remembering how those ramen noodles had wiggled out of his mouth like worms, and smiled devilishly.

"Oi, sir!" She chimed and grabbed Kankurou by the ear. He squealed as she dragged him down the hall to the old man and hatched her plan.

* * *

Gaara, having reverted back to survival mode, saw the tactical advantage Temari had gained from dismissing Kankurou and the grandfather. Should they be attacked at this vulnerable time, their brother would act as back up, while they simultaneously removed all non shinobi from the situation. A very calculated and correct decision. Although he expected no less from his sister...

His sister who was somehow sending mixed signals like a pro. Her face told Gaara she was bored, but she was gripping her fan so tight that it was about to snap in half. Her upper body was rigid and uncomfortable, but her legs were crossed like she'd stopped for a midnight snack at the ramen bar and just somehow ended up here instead. It was this sort of lying that Gaara didn't think he would ever be able to comprehend, and right then, all he cared about was whether this talent could be useful.

"It's quiet, huh?" Temari's voice cut through the hall like a slice to his composure. "With Kankurou gone..." Her realization barely made sense to him. Yes, their brother was loud. What the hell did that matter?

"Do you remember when Kankurou had his appendix out and had to stay in the hospital for a few days?" She asked. Gaara couldn't figure out if this was some extra facet of her elaborate physical lies, or if she was just reminiscing. "You spent that whole week teaching Daagana how to throw a shuriken like she had to fight him when he got back." Temari's face unexpectedly cracked into a smile, and for some reason Gaara felt like it was going to make him cry.

"My intent was never for them to do battle-" He snapped, but his sister turned to him, tears sparkling in the corners of both her eyes.

"You put so much time and effort into making her stronger. You trained her like a Shinobi because that's how you know to love, and it makes sense."

"What is your point?" Gaara pushed off from the wall. Her eyes were making him so uneasy, he wanted to make sure he could run at a moments notice.

"Surely anyone trained by Sabaku no Gaara is strong enough to survive this...right?" Temari grabbed his sleeve like she did when he was a little boy. On one of those rare occasions when father was away and it was just the three of them, playing in the sand pit. She would grab his arm and squeal when he made sand copies of whatever they asked; a castle, grilled squid on a stick, ramen, cherries, a lobster, a flower...He'd forgotten all about that. He forgot that she had ever reached out to him, but here she was, doing it again. Survival mode aside, Gaara knew what she wanted from him: assurance. Or, what had Naruto called it?

Hope.

Gently, he took her fingers in his own and squeezed. Rationally, he could not guarantee Daagana's survival. There were too many variables for him to make such a statement, but he could do this. He could give his sister hope. And if that meant he had to stake his reputation on it, so be it. Naruto would never hesitate if it were his friends in need of encouragement, and Temari was not only Gaara's sister, she was his friend. So he sat beside her and held her hand, and let her believe that he had trained Daagana enough in one week to survive injuries he never could have endured himself.

* * *

"Lord Kazekage, Lady Temari." Temari's eyes snapped open. Her head had been resting on Gaara's shoulder. When had she fallen asleep? How in the hell had she relaxed enough to do so? A medical-nin stood before them. He was a plump man, wearing the normal medical robe and cap. "I apologize for disturbing you." He bowed as Temari slapped her cheeks.

"It's alright, please continue." Gaara said, standing to meet the man.

"The patient's condition has stabilized." As he said it, the light above the operating room switched off, signaling that the surgery was over. Temari couldn't help but think of Shikamaru, and she instantly hated the fact that he would forever make her think of hospitals.

"That's...good news." She spit out, trying to remain as professional as possible. Now was not the time to throw herself to the floor in pure joy.

"Yes, well...We reconstructed her skull and healed the damage done to her skeletal system. The scrolls flown in from Konoha were very helpful."

"I'm sure the Lady Hokage will be pleased to hear that." She said tightly, wanting him to step aside so they could see Daagana...But the fat man shifted his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. He reached up and pulled at the collar of his lab coat and a sheen of sweat covered his forehead.

"There is...something else that concerns us." He admitted hesitantly.

"What?" Temari growled, eyes roaming all over him for a clue as to why he was hiding something. He was a lower ranking nin, a Chuunin she guessed. Why hadn't they sent the surgeon to talk to the Kazekage? Off behind the man came a loud bump on the door and a shush from someone inside, like there were people listening in. Temari looked at the man again and he jumped when their eyes locked.

He was scared of her. Then again it wasn't exactly unheard of. If there had been some sort of complication during surgery, they knew she would freak. They may have even drawn straws to choose the one who would relay the bad news. So Temari tried very hard to reign in her suspicion and fury as she asked again,

"What is it that concerns you?"

"All of the medical records we received from the Ministry of Personnel were blacked out. We did the best that we could with the information we had."

Blacked out? Temari cocked her head. When a Shinobi is assigned an undercover assignment or transferred to ANBU, their medical records are blacked out for security purposes. First they are copied, and then filed under false names to protect the medical histories, but the originals are left as deterrence. It's standard espionage protocol. Regardless of this, Daagana's would not be blacked out. None of her missions had surpassed 'C' rank.

"It's perhaps a mistake made by the records department. We'll have the discrepancy investigated and make sure no one else has been incorrectly hidden. Was there anything else?" She asked, hoping that maybe this man just wasn't used to the laws of being a Shinobi...even though he was one.

"Yes, ma'am. The patient has a-" The medic began but was suddenly cut off by Gaara.

"That's enough." Temari and the Fat Man both looked at Gaara like they had forgotten he was there.

"But, My Lord. She-" He tried again, but Gaara refused to let him finish.

"The situation has been thoroughly documented. You are dismissed." The man's face went sheet white as he quickly bowed and scrambled away, prepared to tell his friends he survived talking back to the Kazekage.

"What the hell, Gaara?" Temari growled. "He had something else to say, why didn't you let him tell us? I get that you might not want to hear it but sometimes you just have-"

"I didn't want you to hear it from him." Gaara answered. He took a few steps away with his back turned to her.

"Hear what?"

"What he had to tell you had nothing to do with Daagana's injuries. Her condition is stable and she will survive. What she needs now is you to be there for her." Gaara crossed his arms and nodded to himself, like his diagnosis was so sound and sincere. Temari wanted to throw something at him. She taught him this, hadn't she? Roused him to be more diplomatic, more Kage like?

"And will knowing this other information make me any less likely to do that?" She said through her teeth.

"Perhaps..." He turned to look at her for a moment before deciding the conversation was over. Gaara started out of the hall, but Temari couldn't keep her snob in check.

"I didn't think you were going to start keeping things from me so soon." She muttered under her breath, but he heard it, and he stopped. It had been a gamble, acting this childishly, but Temari knew that he didn't understand things like acting out just yet, and she could use it to her advantage.

"As Kazekage, I am obligated-" He started to spew her own rhetoric at her, but she jumped up and nearly down his throat.

"Kazekage, my ass! Why are you protecting her from me? Me!"

"I am not protecting _her_ from _you_." He emphasized 'her' and 'you' like it was supposed to make a difference.

"I was the one who found her. I was the one who brought her into our lives. I was the one who couldn't protect her! I was the one who wasn't there for her when she needed me!" Salty tears stung the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them surface. This was a strategic discussion. Crying right now would have the opposite effect on Gaara that it would have on everyone else. Most people would feel bad or back down from a hormonal woman, but Gaara would take it as a sign of weakness. Kunoichi aren't supposed to cry, and Gaara was still learning that not all girls were Kunoichi, and that not all Kunoichi could turn off being a girl.

So they glared at each other, mentally streaming through what had been said, looking for answers the other had left open unknowingly. But Gaara held all the cards in this instance, and they both knew it. He wasn't going to tell her something he didn't want to, so she had decided to make him.

Instead, he surprised her.

"Neither of us were there when she needed us most." He began, disarming her. "But as a man with a past, I can inform you that regretting those from before your time is useless." Then his words landed the blow.

"What does that even mean?!" Temari cried.

* * *

"Daagana..." Her name rolled off Gaara's tongue before he realized it, and he knew that he'd given Temari what she wanted. Frustrated, Gaara stomped back over to the bench and dropped to it.

Their father used to praise Temari for being like this. He'd say she was the best of both worlds: ruthless on the battle field and impenetrable in Shogi. She could think twelve steps ahead of all of them, make you feel like you were winning, only to tear you in half by surprise. It was what made her so valuable as an adviser, and apparently as a sister.

Why hadn't he told her in the first place? It depended on who you asked, Gaara or the Kage. The Kazekage would tell you that, as a matter of state, the less people who knew, the better. Gaara would say that he didn't want Temari to know because he liked having a secret with Daagana. He liked that they shared something no one else knew about. It was thrilling, slightly intoxicating. But what excuse did he have not to reveal the truth now? Now when Temari was half way there already, and if left alone, would figure it out eventually. Would he rather keep his drunk love, or his life?

Bowing his head, Gaara let their secret slip. "Giia cursed her. An incantation known as the _Jun Chi Noroi_."

"Wait...wait, wha-" Temari seemed completely taken aback, and Gaara assumed that he'd fallen for her bluff. Oh well, there was nothing he could do about it now.

"It's a killing curse. Since we have known her, Giia has tried to kill Daagana twice. Did we really think that she had not tried before we came along?" He asked out loud what he'd been asking himself for weeks. It made him feel so insignificant to think that his whole life, while he fought off the assassins sent by his father, Daagana was fending for herself against those sent by her mother. At least Gaara knew that he could never be killed, that no one could ever touch him. Daagana...

She must have been so scared. She must have been out of her mind constantly. How had she found solace? How did she develop a smile that could light up the world?

"But..." Temari whispered and Gaara sank back into his story.

"But she survived. Giia did it wrong, or the incantation was somehow incomplete. Either way, it changed her, and not for the better." He hoped that he wouldn't have to explain it to her in exact words. He didn't want to admit it. If he told Temari that he was protecting _her_ from _Daagana_ , and not the other way around, how could he ever look at that shining smile ever again?

It took a long few moments for her to respond, but she came and sank down next to him on the bench. "How do you know all this?" She asked, and he knew she understood at least enough to take her line of questioning elsewhere.

* * *

"I caught her in the desert." Gaara answered. Temari leaned back against the wall, ignoring the coldness on her hot neck. Her face must be burning red. Embarrassment, anger, shame. It took her a long time to hide her face under her mask of perpetual boredom, but there were still some things that broke through.

Gaara had known this whole time and never told anyone, not even her. But then…it suddenly made sense. He _had_ told someone: Baki. Weekly meetings? Temari chided herself for being so foolish. Daagana didn't go to see the Sensei for catch up, she went to see Baki so that they could keep record of whatever this was. She was a lab rat! She could see it now, Gana being poked and prodded, nodding and wincing politely, letting the medics do whatever they wanted to her to get answers. She was such a people pleaser anyway, how could she have said no?

And then, the shameful side of Temari kicked in. That morbid analytical side of her that she only allowed out when there were puzzles worth solving or spirits worth breaking. She wondered if maybe Daagana was mutated in some way that Temari hadn't recognized, or maybe she was destined to die young. Or maybe she couldn't die at all and that was Giia's frustration this whole time. Or maybe—

Temari's mind fixated itself on a single phrase: ' _She stopped me._ '

Daagana wasn't malformed or immortal, no…Daagana was powerful. _That_ was why she was able to stop Gaara's attack. _That_ was why she had weekly meetings with Baki and his medic crew. It was to assess her threat level.

 _I should have flinched away from her…_

* * *

Meanwhile at the ramen shop, Kankurou had involuntarily donned an apron and was misusing a spatula. Ojiisan peeked over his shoulder at his new help and saw that he was performing his duties incorrectly, so with the speed of a ninja, he stalked over to the puppeteer and smacked Kankurou's hand with his frying chopsticks.

"Ouch!" Kankurou yelped and yanked his hand back.

"You ain't doin' it right! The evenen' rush's comen' in and they gonna complain about the service." Ojiisan accused and paced back over to the fryer to pull out the tempura.

"Maybe it was this guy who abused Daagana and not Giia." Kankurou mumbled to himself and rubbed his sore knuckles.

* * *

After what felt like hours, Temari couldn't stand sitting on that stupid bench anymore. With a fake sigh, she slapped her hands on her legs and stood.

"Come on, let's go." Gaara didn't stand to follow, and even though Temari was angry, when she looked back at him, all she saw was her tired little brother. A little brother who didn't know how to cope with loss, and couldn't sleep things off. Her little brother who had lied to her, and tried to protect her. She stared at his red hair and couldn't decide whether she wanted to pet it or tear it out. He sure was advancing fast to make her feel like this. The Gaara from before never would have been able to create such a complex situation.

"I said let's go." She repeated, wishing she had pockets because she'd shove her hands into them like Kankurou did when he was stubbornly mad.

"I'm staying." Was all he said, elbows on knees, fingers covering his mouth. Such a submissive, _'don't-look-at-me'_ face. Perhaps he hadn't progressed as far as she thought. There was only one way to find out...

"Don't you think you should have told us? Me and Kankurou? We were around her all the time too. You could have told us we were nurturing a time bomb." Temari whined in her best impression of Hiniku.

"She never would have hurt you!" Gaara suddenly roared, and Temari saw that raw nerve she'd hit. He was putting up such a brave front, but there was no way for her to not call out his BS.

"Then why you do you think she would have hurt you?"

* * *

Despite what Ojiisan said, Kankurou couldn't help but feel a small sense of accomplishment as the evening crowd dwindled. He had only received a few smacks from the master spatula and none of the customers had seen, so it was all good. As the last person left, Kankurou tore off his apron and cheered. He had ultimately survived.

"All hail the busboy..." Ojiisan rolled his eyes as Kankurou pranced around the bar.

"So..." Kankurou asked cockily, "What else do you want me to do?"

Ojiisan just shook his head. "Nothin'."

"Come on old man! Do you want me to close up for you? You must be so tiiiiiiiired." Ojiisan held up the spatula quick as a flash and Kankurou was cowering the instant later.

"I still gotta anotha customer da serve, puppet boy. He's a regular." Kankurou cocked an eyebrow, but before he could ask,

"Kankurou!" Temari called as she and Gaara walked into the ramen shop. That was all the proof Kankurou needed.

Gaara had midnight ramen munchies!

Ojiisan burst into laughter when he saw the look on Kankurou's face.

"That's right!" He bellowed and ran around the counter to Gaara. "He come in here most every night!" But Gaara just sighed.

"The usual." He ordered and seated himself at the bar.

'The usual'? Kankurou thought. Gaara had a usual? How weird is that! Ojiisan quickly went about preparing the ramen while Temari and Kankurou just stared at Gaara.

"First it's Daagana's curse seal, and now you're a regular at a ramen shop!" Temari cried and waved her arms in the air. "What else could you possibly keep from me?"

"You don't want to know." Gaara answered as Ojiisan handed him a bowl of ramen, extra fish cakes.

"That's understandable." Kankurou said as Temari planted herself on a stool and pouted. "I can see why you wouldn't tell _her_ Gaara," Kankurou said smoothly. Temari glared daggers at him, and Gaara just blew on his ramen. They both knew what was coming next.

"But why wouldn't you tell _me_?"

Temari groaned. "Why do you think? I'm the oldest! If he was gonna tell anybody, it would have been me!"

The argument had begun and Gaara knew what would follow. Fighting: First verbal then physical, and who knows who'd win this time. But he was pretty sure he didn't care. His ramen was so much more interesting than his siblings' scrimmages.

"Wait!" Kankurou cried. Temari had his shirtfront and was rearing back for the punch. "Hold up!" Kankurou pleaded. Temari sighed, she had been itching to punch him all day. "Did I hear something about a curse seal?" Kankurou panted. "Daagana's curse seal?"


	17. But If I Don't Go

**If I Don't Go, Where Will I End Up?**

The next day was hot, the sky was deep blue, the wind was blowing hard from the southeast, and Daagana's hospital bed was empty.

Temari glared at the sheets like it was their fault they hadn't held their patient more securely. The head surgeon had sent for her at dawn using an unidentified messenger. She had thought it was odd, yes, but at the time figured it was because of the nature of Daagana's medical records. The hospital had their own protocols for this sort of thing. So she had not been prepared to enter the wildly chaotic hospital and realize it was partially her problem.

"Lady Temari." A Chuunin hovered in the doorway.

"Skip the formalities. Update." She barked without bothering to look at him.

"No joy, ma'am." He scrambled into a salute. Poor kid had probably drawn the short straw, just like that orderly from yesterday. Although she had more pressing things to worry about, Temari made a mental note to try and change her comrade's perception of her, since it was apparently abysmal.

"And the secondary target?" She massaged her forehead.

"No change." He said hesitantly."Target has not left the ramen bar since last night."

"That's better than the alternative." Temari sighed. "Keep searching. And soldier," She added and the boy snapped back into attention. "Don't you dare let the Kazekage know about this."

* * *

Two years is a long time for Shinobi. At any given moment, one could be killed during a mission, or even during eras of peace. Time went a little quicker when there was less life to live. For twelve years, Hiniku had trained everyday for one singular purpose: to be a Shinobi. She wanted to follow in her parent's footsteps, and make her Ojiisan proud, even though she knew he worried. Twelve long years.

But now, not a second of that time felt worth it. Her feet found their path automatically, just as they always did in Suna. She knew this village like the back of her hand. Even though she lived on the northern side of her sector, it didn't mean she never saw 'Poor Side' for what it was: a prison. It devoured people, consumed them, until they never left it's familiar nightmare. Someone once said that people choose the Hell they create for themselves. If Hiniku had to guess, her Hell was the ramen shop entrance, that threshold where she'd stood and watch her best friend in the world get beaten again an again. Like there were iron bars keeping her back like teeth. A Hell where she never did anything to stop it, never tried to save her. Why did she never do anything! Why hadn't she stopped Giia when she had the chance? She was a Shinobi! She should just-

 _Kill her._

She should just kill Giia.

Her kunai felt like weights tied to her leg, and her hands began to sweat beneath her gloves. It would just be fair, right? Giia had done so much bad. Killing her wouldn't be considered bad too, right?

Hiniku stopped short of the street Daagana used to live on, the husk that it was. It had been months since the fire, yet here was the carnage, like it had happened yesterday. This was 'Poor Side'. They didn't have money to repair these types of things, and even then, nobody cared. A well worn path of dusty footprints trekked by in the soot, evidence that people still lived there, despite it being more charcoal than neighborhood. She told her feet to follow them, to take her to the Hell she'd been imagining. Every door frame, every threshold. Those unbreakable barriers she could never seemed to master. Her friend was on the other side, crying out.

"Listen." Hiniku placed her hand on the charred black of a wall front. Her knees gave even before she told them to, as she sank into a squat. "Someone is screaming in agony." She put her forehead to the wall and closed her eyes. "Fortunately, I'm fluent."

There was suddenly a choked off sob and a rustle from inside the burned hovel. "This is a competition, ya hear?" She continued, ignoring anyone on the street who thought she was talking to a wall. "Like those rich women in the Northern Quarter who order calorie free ramen to impress each other. That's us...just with misery instead."

A sandal peaked out from the gaping hole of a door, and the whimper came again. Hiniku looked up to see Daagana standing there, staring at her with dirty tear stains covering her face. Somehow, she was still beautiful.

"Look at you," Hiniku joked dryly as she stood, "popping out like a genie from a bottle." Daagana's bottom lip trembled, those big golden eyes streaming a never ending supply of tears. "You could water the whole desert going on like that." Hiniku willed her face to smile, but she only managed to grimace. She wanted to wipe her friend's tears away, but for some reason couldn't find it in herself to move her hand. She felt strangely unworthy to comfort her.

"I don't..." Daagana's voice cracked and Hiniku had her arms around her neck in a second. They clutched each other like life depended on it. This was the Hell her friend created for herself. The Hell she chose; the burnt down remains of her home. The memories of a mother who used to love her, the life she could have had if she had been someone else.

Hiniku hugged her tighter. "You don't have to. Whatever it is, let me do it. I'll do it. I'll finish it for you."

* * *

I stared at my toes.

It felt like so long since I had tried to put my thoughts in order. I was groggy from left over pain and medication, and my body felt foreign in the spots they had replaced. My whole head was still numb, and it must have been why I didn't realize I had been crying for so long. Thinking you're holding it together is always a lie.

Hiniku and I sat side by side in the ruins of my home, beside the door, underneath the only window. She was still holding my hand and staring hard at the floor. It was so unlike her to not know what to say. Then again, where would I find the words to answer her? What was I going to say to everyone? I didn't even know what to tell myself. What was I supposed to do with this moment of clarity? The calm didn't suit me, the vision was too haughty. How was I supposed to go on with this massive truth? Not knowing-denying had always made the burden easy to bear. Now I felt like I was being crushed, and every breath was hard to take. It was going to drown me, bury me alive. How was this fate better than the last? I wasn't strong enough for this. I wasn't prepared for this.

Why did this have to happen?

Why couldn't Giia have just succeeded-

"Ladies."

Hiniku and I both jumped, looking up to the half face of Baki as he took up the entire entrance to the house.

"No, no, no, no! You leave her alone!" Hiniku scrambled to her feet and stepped in between us.

"Please, I need to speak with her." He asked, backing away from her advance.

"You people have done enough!" She yelled and jabbed her finger into his vest. "I'm sick of sitting on the sidelines, thinking someone else would be able to do a better job than me! You don't understand her! And you never will! So just get the hell out."

"You're right, I don't understand." He said gently...well as gently as Baki was able. "I could never understand why someone would want to protect a person who continuously hurt them, over and over. But please believe me...that I'm willing to try." He held his hands out, palms up, that willing, submissive gesture. Although he was asking permission from Hiniku, he kept his eye on me, boring down until I had to look away. It seemed a little unfair that while Hiniku and I were in the midst of a collective emotional break down, the rest of the village was running right along, just fine without us. Baki being the prime example.

"I said-" Hiniku sucked in a big breath to cuss the sensei all the way back to the admin building but,

"Wait." I croaked like a toad.

She spun on her heels and gaped at me. "But...Gana..."

"For the record," I injected as much smoothness into my voice as possible, praying that it wouldn't waver, "no one could have ever done a better job than you." Her response was to throw herself at me in another hug. I let out a grunt of pain and she clambered back. "You know me better than anyone. I don't have to make you understand. But them," I nodded to Baki, using him as an analogy for everyone else, "They don't know me like you do. I have to spell it out for them."

"You never spelled it out for me." She pouted.

"Because I never had to."

* * *

Baki quietly seated himself on the floor beside me, either pretending or actually not minding the black soot he'd never get out of his uniform. I didn't think Hiniku was too far away, but she seemed willing to give us our privacy.

"How did you find me?" I grumbled, pulling my knees up to my chest. I already knew that Baki was not the type to go first. There were times in our weekly meetings that he wouldn't talk at all. I had asked him about it at one point, unsure if I was uncomfortable with the silence or not. He'd said, 'you come here to report to me, not to have a conversation'. Which was entirely true, but never the less, it had apparently formed a habit in me to start all discussions.

"I followed the person who knows you best." Was his answer, and I coughed a laugh.

"She won't be very happy to hear that."

"Would it be a relief to know that it was far more difficult than anticipated?" He offered, and I caught a shy smile peaking from behind his flap.

"I guess so. Hiniku is a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to training. Makes sense." I once asked her to teach me to throw Shuriken and regretted it for days.

"When I first took Hiniku under advisement, she informed me that she wanted to be a close range expert, but her ideals changed when you two became friends. Why is that?" He asked, and thus began his interview.

"You're dancing around the question." I returned, not entirely prepared for the actual amount of dancing we were about to do.

"No, I think I asked it plainly enough." He said, nodding to me slightly. Cut the crap, essentially. Even though my social circle had significantly grown in the past year, there was always one person who never bothered with my excuses or long avoiding justifications: Baki. A sensei who was perpetually fed up. A man who didn't have the patience nor time of day for my bull shit, just like now. Although his posture was relaxed, he made it seem like he was on a tight schedule and I wasn't keeping pace with his time line.

"Hiniku switched to medical jutsu because I was always in need of healing." I threw it out into the room, a confession I had never been shy of.

"And you didn't think that, perhaps, you should have changed your situation? For Hiniku's sake?" He lead.

"No matter what I said to her, she refused to switch back." I told him. "I tried to hide it from her for a time, but she always ended up finding out. I even quit the shop for awhile to see if things could go back to the way they were before."

"And?" He asked.

"She hunted me down and dragged me back." I huffed at the memory of her trying to kick down my door, but being really disappointed when she found out that I didn't have one.

"Seems you tried every option but one." He shrugged, looking away from me like I was still avoiding his question.

"What you're talking about isn't an option." I shrugged back, making sure to emphasize my use of 'isn't' as opposed to 'wasn't'. Although our tones were cordial, there was tension beneath us, just as there always was. I knew Baki had been itching to ask me these things since Gaara had first taken me to him. It was science, after all. A sort of psychological eval for a patient who was clearly delusional. That's what Hiniku called me anyway, delusional.

"Why not?" He pressed, and I turned back to look at him. He was on the edge of his answer, the great cliff he'd been pacing for months. He seemed like such a creature of curiosity that he would chase me all the way out here to find what he was looking for. That had to be the case. Why else would he be here, sitting in the ashes of my only fond memories?

"Why do you care anyway?" I asked instead of answering. In the back of my mind, I knew it would probably make him mad, but I wanted to know how far he was willing to go for his science. How far he was willing to press...for me.

"Because no one should ever go through what you have." He answered easily, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Some people don't deserve your brand of redemption." I muttered and turned away from him. For a long time, Hiniku had told me the exact same thing, that nobody should ever have to go through what I went through. She was so adamant about it that, I started to think she was right. No one should ever have to go through what I had. Which meant that I didn't count. I wasn't a someone. Me, who had seen the face of death like it was a monthly rent collector, wasn't considered human, because humans did not endure things like that. It was the only way to make her statement true, and I wanted her to be right. When I told her that, She got so mad. The maddest I'd ever seen her. She wouldn't talk to me for a week, saying if I felt so inhuman, that she couldn't talk to me since I wasn't real. I never understood why my conclusion had been so wrong. If people weren't supposed to go through things like this, then it stood to reason that I wasn't a person because I had. In the end, we just never spoke of it again, and I accepted the fact. It came as a part of my identity, just as being a Shinobi had. They were just name tags I wore sometimes: Girl, Kunoichi, Chef, Lover...

"You can't possibly believe that you are not worth saving." He gave me a sharp look that I avoided.

"What's there to save? I'm a freak of nature with no family, a really screwed up brain, and a broken body." I summed up all my good qualities. There was a teeny tiny part of me that was joking, but when I looked back at him for the credit, his eye had gone wide.

"No family?" He muttered, whispering it like he'd seen a ghost.

"I figured you wouldn't count Giia, so-" I tried to explain, but he suddenly pounded his fist against the wall, causing the whole structure to shake off all the loose soot. A cloud of dust filled my nose and I sputtered. Baki though, he let me have it regardless.

"You have a large family!"

"What?" I wheezed. Partly from silt and partly because that was obviously untrue.

"Your family is this village. Your family is that of the Kazekage line, the three most pigheaded children in the entire world. They wanted you to be their family. You can't possibly see yourself the way we see you, or you would know that you are not just another girl, you are special, Daagana."

"How could you possibly say that?" I choked. "I cause so much trouble. For you, for Gaara...for Giia." His eye literally rolled at the mention of her name, and I cowered back from his repulsion. To me, my mother and I were one and the same. If he hated her so much, surely he hated me as well.

"Why must you worry what she thinks? She never valued your opinion, why do you waste your time with hers?" He snorted, brushing off the soot that had fallen onto his shoulder pads.

"She's my mother!" I responded obviously. We seemed to have very different definitions of recognizable fact.

"You think just because she gave birth to you, she becomes a mother and is irrefutable?" He asked, pointing that snobbish look at me again.

"I mean..." I shrank under his gaze. Hiniku used to go on and on about her mother and how she was so wonderful and perfect. Maybe there was some sort of class Giia had missed or gene she lacked. The mother gene. But just because she wasn't good at it now didn't mean she couldn't learn. We were learning together, why couldn't anyone understand that? It was my job as her daughter to stick by her and see she grows into a proper mother!

"Then what of Gaara?" Baki asked shortly, pulling my rising confidence out from under me.

"What about him?" I asked, trying to wipe away his face as it came bleeding through my thoughts. I'd given up on him...I gave him to Giia. He was never mine to begin with, but still...I-

"Should he have just let his father kill him as well, since all father's know best?" Baki challenged.

"No!" I shouted automatically. The former Kazekage had been a savage, sending assassins after his own son! Using Gaara's uncle to try to kill him! How much hatred had been in his heart to see Gaara only as the monster he created and not the son or brother he was?

"So why is everyone else allowed to live freely, but you?" Baki rounded out his point. I opened my mouth to slap him with something snippy, but shut it with a click when I realized that he'd made his appeal, and it had been precise. I argued that Giia was a mother and couldn't be wrong, but he argued that Rasa had been a father and was undoubtedly wrong. It was my own contradiction, and I'd fallen right into his trap. But despite that, I didn't believe that they could be the same. So I reverted to the only excuse I had left:

"I lived as freely as I wanted. She never kept me from doing anything. That was the problem; I wasn't good at anything. I was never good enough for her..." An obvious truth I'd told myself my whole life, yet somehow saying it now hurt so much more than any time before.

"You've wasted your whole live thus far changing yourself for Giia. Don't you think it's time that you chose who you wanted to be, instead of deforming yourself for someone who refuses to love you?"

"I had to recreate myself!" I cried, grabbing his arm. "She has a hard time loving someone so pathetic! I have to be better!" I needed him to believe me. He had to see my sincerity.

"Daagana," He said gently, pulling my hand from his arm, one gripping finger at a time, "what will you do if you change everything you can change, and she still doesn't love you when there's nothing left?"

"I don't..." My words fell flat as I stared at him, like his words hung in the air before my eyes. What if...she never loved me...

The tears seared down my face before I even realized I had misted up.

Seriously though, Daagana. What if...she never came around? What if the beatings never stopped? What if I was never able to make her happy? What was I supposed to do then? How was I supposed to go on?

"You deserve a love that has no conditions, a life that leads you to peace." Baki hushed tenderly, wiping away the treacherous tears as they fell. "It's waiting for you...most likely at the ramen shop two clicks south of here." He threw that tidbit in under his breath, but I was too overwrought to not ignore it. "You could have that easy life and so much more, should you want it. If you are willing. You don't have to stay a fool forever."

"You're asking too much of me...wait, did you just call me a fool?" His abrupt antic cut through all the ardent haze, like the tears washing away something that had been clouding my eyes.

"Don't you know how much Gaara changed for you?" He continued smoothly. I got the distinct impression that he'd rehearsed this and I was following along just as he predicted.

"He didn't change at all." I tried to throw a wrench into his script, throw the brake on this runaway train of fervor, but he gave me a creeping smile, and I knew then and there...that I had lost.

"Gaara was considered a monster by everyone. Including his father. Did he ever tell you about Yashamaru?" Baki's eyebrow peaked almost mischievously.

"Yes, but—" I tried to regain some control, but he went right on through me.

"Yashamaru was Gaara's savior. He was the only vision of acceptance Gaara had to cling to. But it was all a facade. Yashamaru was Gaara's uncle, Gaara's mother's brother. And naturally, he held a grudge against Gaara for killing his sister in childbirth. So, in his anger, Yashamaru tried to kill Gaara. Of course his attempt failed, and Gaara ended up killing Yashamaru in his inexperienced defense. You know the scar on his forehead?"

"Yes, I—" I tried again...same effect.

"He got it that night. He gave it to himself. 'Love', he was convinced, was what had caused all his problems. It was 'Love' that killed his mother and his uncle, and he knew then and there that what the villagers said was true. He was a monster. Seem familiar?" I gave him an bitter look, pretending with all my might that I hadn't been comparing the two of us.

"But," Baki went on, that infuriating grin still on half his face, "he lived his life in the dark until someone walked in with the light...or maybe," He gave me a long look, "maybe it's the other way around."

He sighed when he saw I was confused. "You, Daagana."

"Me?"

"Yes you."

"No; no, no, no, no. It wasn't me, it was all Naruto." I waved my hands in front of my face, like I could block the credit coming my way.

"Naruto merely gave him the example to follow...You gave him the life to live."


	18. Underground

Even among the familiar decor of the outdated Suna hospital, small things still stood out. For example: the waiting area was still the usual spectrum of pale browns and sick people, covered in fake plants to make it seem like things could grow in this climate. An analogy for healing, I supposed. I mean, if they covered it with cacti, patients might think the doctors were prickly by association; their words, not mine. But a new detail that I picked up on when Baki and I entered the hospital at dusk, was the fact that the nursing staff took one look at us and immediately started to whisper to each other behind their hands. It was like some weird saltatory of tangled gossip and nervous glances. Although I knew most of their faces from all the times I'd been admitted, it was odd to have them look at me so intently. Usually it was a mixture of disinterest but pity, today it seemed that I was the talk of the town.

Then again, after what Baki had just told me, how could I not? The sensei said that, although they tried their best to cover it up, word had gotten around that I quit the Shinobi way.

"What do you mean quit? I didn't quit." I contended earlier as we left 'Poor Side' behind. Despite my defiance, he still managed to convince me to go back to civilization with him. I had wanted to hide in that ruin forever, content to bury myself in the soot of my terrible childhood, but he seemed to know exactly what to say to drag me back to my senses. Although, if this was how my new debut in society was going to go, I didn't think I was going to be able to keep it straight.

"You handed me your papers rather boldly. I don't see how I could have misinterpreted-"

"But I didn't hand you anything." I pressed, but he only shrugged. I stopped walking with him, hoping that he would take me seriously. Even though I had just bore my soul to him, it still seemed as if he was treating me like a child. If I said I didn't do something, I really didn't do it!

To my relief he did stop, but then turned to me with a scrutinizing look, still with that stupid air of posturing.

"Tell me...do you ever wear perfume?" He asked out of the blue.

"What?" I hiccuped.

"Perfume. Do you ever wear it?" He strode back towards me, giving his random question a sense of urgency.

"No...?"

"Not even the girly scents? Lavender, Rose, or Jasmine?" I gave him an annoyed look, and he took it as my answer. "Very well."

He never stopped to explain his question, or why it mattered. Why had he gone on about my handing in my resignation, when I clearly hadn't? Whether or not it was the truth was irrelevant though. The village had come to the conclusion that I was a loser, and the nurse's judgmental stares only proved it. Baki dutifully walked with me all the way back to the room I'd escaped from the day before, almost as if he was making sure I actually went back like I said I would. I snickered at him out of the corner of my eye. Honestly, at this point in my shattered life, where did he expect me to go? When we entered the room, we were surprised by the sight of Hiniku sitting on the second bed, a scroll linen wrapped around her forehead, and a medic nin pressing two fingers to the middle of her brow, hand glowing green.

"Hiniku!" I cried and rushed over to her.

"It's fine, I'm fine." She waved me off nonchalantly. "He's just finishing up...right?" She directed as much venom as she could at the young medic, who seemed like his knees went weak from her glare.

"But, are you okay? What happened?" I asked as the nin quickly finished and scampered out of the room. Hiniku gave me a somewhat perplexed look, glancing between my face and my hands as they squeezed hers.

"It's just the side effects from what happened at the shop."

"What happened at the shop?" I grilled her.

"What do you mean, 'what happened'? You happened." She said, pulling her hands from mine and getting off the bed. She still looked the same as she had earlier in the day, but I couldn't shake the feeling that although she had come to my rescue yet again, she was holding something back now.

"Huh?" I managed and turned around to Baki, hoping he could explain, but he seemed more interested in Hiniku's casualness, than my panic.

"You believe Daagana was the one who placed you under that Genjutsu?" He asked, tucking his hands behind him and began to circle into the room, a posture he like to assume when he was deep in thought. To me it usually meant only answer 'yes' or 'no', but it wasn't me he was quizzing.

"I mean yeah, but not by her own choice." Hiniku shot back, moving around the bed so she was between Baki and me again. She seemed really distrustful of him whenever he got like this: like I was just a science experiment.

"Wait, I did what?" I interrupted, thrown by her sudden accusation.

"It's no big deal, Gana. I know Giia made you do it. I'm not mad." She said over her shoulder, keeping her eyes on the sensei.

"But I didn't!" I tried, and Baki stopped his slow march.

"Around what time would you say this happened?" He asked Hiniku, and I saw her tense.

"Around midnight?"

"So the same time she appeared to me, she was with you?" He said slowly, trying to get us to follow along his train of thought. Hiniku didn't answer, although I figure I knew what was going through her head. It wasn't unheard of to make it from one side of the city to another in a short period of time. I couldn't use the teleportation network but I'd grown light on my feet. Then I realized I was making excuses for myself and I threw all of those thoughts on the back burner. Baki continued. "Can you tell me what the Daagana you encountered smelled like?"

"What kind of idiotic nonsense-" Hiniku reared up. I could tell just by looking at her back that she was rolling her eyes as far back as they could go. She was done with this ambiguous line of questioning, done with all the insinuations. Even though she was a talented Shinobi, Hiniku didn't have a large reserve of patience for tact. Just say what you mean to say, she used to yell at me. I wondered if maybe it was because she couldn't keep up, but soon learned that she just didn't care to.

"Answer the question, Kunoichi." Baki snapped and we both clicked our heels together instinctively, back in the moment.

"She smelled like she hadn't bathed in awhile." Hiniku said straight, and then she turned to me with an apologetic grin. "But I knew you'd just returned from a mission so it wasn't like I gagged when you weren't looking." She laughed nervously...Which means that's exactly what happened.

"Curious..." Baki gripped his chin and stared at our feet for a long moment, a lot longer than socially acceptable.

In the mean time, I untied the scroll linen from Hiniku's head and helped her fix her hair. We were just contemplating sticking a mirror under Baki's nose to see if he was still alive, when the sliding door flew open with a gust of wind, and the tornado that was Temari came storming in, Kankurou hot on her heels.

"What the living hell, Daagana?" She yelled, scaring some nurses as they passed by.

"Uhh...I can explain. Can I explain?" I fumbled over myself, rushing over and jabbing Baki in the arm. He'd been as still as a statue for forever, surely he'd figured out whatever was going on. Temari looked like she was about to beat the ever loving crap out of me, and I didn't even know why! Baki indicated I'd hit his 'on' button, and he came alive, looking around like he didn't understand where all these new people came from. "Some help would be appreciated." I murmured as Temari stomped up, not waiting to hear reason. Her footsteps sounded like she was trying to go through the floor.

"You look at me." She scolded. "Hurt. I am hurt. And don't act like you care, because if you did, you wouldn't have done what you did!" We were literally nose to nose, bent over backwards. I only managed to let out a squeak of fear and put my hands up in surrender. Despite the fact that her statement made little sense, I wouldn't make it out alive if I mentioned it.

"Hey, Gusty. Back the hell up." Hiniku wormed her way in between us and pushed Temari as far as she was able...which wasn't really that far. Kankurou came up on his sister's other side and tried to gently calm her down, but Temari and Hiniku started to argue anyway, despite his intervention. The situation morphed into Kankurou protecting me while the girls duked it out. Pressed to the wall behind him, I grabbed for anything within arms reach. The bedpan on the side table was the closest, and I wasted no time in lobbing it at Baki.

His head sounded like a giant gong bell, and the room fell silent. The great Jounin Baki, assaulted by a bedpan. In the years to follow, when we told the story, I was sure it would be hilarious...that was, of course, only if I lived.

Instead of acknowledging the fact that he'd been hit with something meant to pee in, Baki gracefully straightened his vest and coughed, like he was getting ready to teach a lecture at the academy.

"I can explain."

"YES!" I cheered from behind Kankurou. Temari only seemed more annoyed, while Hiniku looked like she had been enjoying their tussle a little too much.

When the five of us were situated and placid, Baki began:

"Before I can conclusively explain what happened, I need one final piece of information." He stood between the two beds where Hiniku and I sat on one, while the siblings sat on the other.

"What's that?" Hiniku asked attentively. She seemed all innocent now, but I knew she was shooting Temari hostile glances when no one else was looking. Seriously, she was having way too much fun goading the strongest Kunoichi in the village.

"Daagana," the sensei turned to me, "what's the last thing you remember?"

"Oh...well..." the question caught me off guard even though it shouldn't have. Of course they wanted to know what happened. Not only was I going to be asked over and over again by the people who cared about me, Baki was going to have to submit a formal inquiry. The story needed to be told, but I was still so hazy on those details myself, that I wasn't sure what I could say. After waking up from surgery, I pretended that I was still unconscious so the team of Jounin outside my room wouldn't be allowed to interview me.

I didn't want to tell them. I had no idea who they were or what they actually wanted from me. But now Baki was the one asking, and I didn't have an excuse anymore.

"Just tell us anything that comes to mind, no matter how confusing." Baki offered, and I gulped. Fuzzy images came to mind like broken film on a movie player. Fragments of tipsy umbra, dark violent swirls of color, the all consuming embrace of chakra, searing pain-

"Well...we made camp between the forest and the beginning of the dunes in the land of wind." I started out factually. "I slept between Temari and Kankurou, and Temari even gave me a spare blanket because I was...cold." The two of us shared a glance that said we both knew that wasn't why, but it was better left unsaid. "I guess I had a nightmare, because I woke up in the middle of the night. But everything was...blurry." I tried to explain how the world had tilted and unfocused, every shade of purple, blue, and black snaking around me like tired, old, clouds.

"Blurry?" Kankurou asked and I shrugged apologetically.

"It was like my head was spinning and I couldn't make anything out clearly."

"Why did you leave camp then?" Temari asked, staking her tone as business casual as opposed to seething homicidal. Her face was betraying her though. I could tell by the little line between her eyes that she was more scared than pissed. She was just trying to put up a bold front because she was...hurt.

"I don't really know." I whispered guiltily, avoiding her eye.

"Keep going, Gana. It's okay." Hiniku put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and I shot her a grimace/smile.

"All I remember thinking was that...something was out there, and I had to find it." I offered ultimately.

"Continue." Baki nodded more to himself than to me.

"I was walking through the wood and..." Flashes of dead bodies hanging from trees, and horrifying beasts crowding my feet, flooded my memory. I tried to shake them away, but they lingered there, like when someone holds something in front of your face that you didn't want to look at, but they leave you no choice.

"Gana?" Hiniku muttered, squeezing my shoulder again.

"I was walking, and-" I tried again, sucking in as much air and confidence as I could. But the demons wouldn't go away. The shadows that had plagued me that night seemed to come alive in the back of my mind as I recalled them. Like remembering them was summoning them. Leaves like lynched children, roots like mangled bloody wolves, bark like razored sand paper against my face!

My stomach roiled and the faces of my friends skewed to a disproportionate angle.

"Daagana!" I knew Temari's voice, but I was already down on all fours, vomiting on the floor. There were hands all over me for a moment, suffocating to the point where I couldn't breathe, and then...they were all gone; a hot blanket thrown off for the release of an ice cold room.

When my body was finished with it's tantrum, I weakly looked up to the filmy picture of my family as they gaped at me. The only one who wasn't rattled was Baki. He put his hands together in a seal and produced a sand clone, who set to work cleaning up the mess. Then he picked me up like I was as delicate as a doll and placed me in the empty bed. My eyes rolled around in my head like uncontrollable marbles, but I was able to make out Hiniku and Kankurou holding Temari by her arms on the other bed, as if they were trying to keep her back.

They had been her hands all over me; checking my temperature, feeling for my pulse, pounding my back. She was desperate to help, I could see it on her face. She'd come in here yelling, not that she was angry, but that she was hurt. I'd hurt her somehow, yet she was still looking out for me.

"I'm okay." I said weakly and reached for her. She shook off her captors in an instant and was grabbing my hand as hard as she could. "I'm really sorry." I whispered.

"No, I'm the one that's sorry." She shook her head forcefully, her four pigtails bobbing. "I should have protected you."

"Daagana-" Baki put a hand on my leg, but Temari nearly bit it off.

"That's enough. No more. She's done for today." She said as she brushed some hair from my sweaty brow.

"There's no need for her to continue. I understand now what happened."

"Well?" Hiniku demanded.

Baki sat at the end of my bed and took one of my feet in his hands. He started to roll his thumb under the ball of my foot and I felt like I was going to melt. Pressure points.

"This whole time we've been assuming that Giia was the one who did this." He began.

"That's because she was." Hiniku growled, but Baki glanced down at me, as if to ask me if that were true or not. I searched my memory, jumping between the snapshots of shadow demons and getting my teeth kicked in. I remembered Giia pulling my hair out, but I also recalled how she would fade in and out of my vision, like some sort of ghost. There were also those other voices that would take over when she disappeared, voices that argued over me but never made any sense.

"I don't know." I croaked, and Baki took it as a victory regardless.

"If Giia had done this, why was she not seen fleeing the hut with the other accomplices? Also, the larger fact here, there are accomplices. At least three. One to kidnap Daagana from the woods using a Genjutsu, another to report to me (most likely a female by the heavy perfume), and than a third to take Hiniku out of commission."

"Why target Hiniku?" Temari asked.

"Because I'm always around." Hiniku answered for herself. "They knew enough to know that if the sand siblings came back alone, I would tear the village apart looking for Daagana."

"This just became a much bigger issue." Kankurou growled, making the girls jump. "We've been infiltrated."

"Kankurou, please inform the Kazekage." Baki ordered. The puppet master saluted, before hopping out the window.


	19. Of Course, Lord Kazekage

**Of course, Lord Kazekage**

Gaara filled his spoon with broth and then stared at each individual drop as he poured it back into his bowl of ramen. It had gone cold hours ago, and he was on his third flask of sake. He didn't understand what all the hype had been about: it smelled like bad rice, and tasted like tangy pears. It also made the halo around the lights ripple, but that didn't seem like a serious side effect. Ojiisan apparently didn't mind serving the underaged as long as they were going to be the next Kazekage.

Kage...

His father, Rasa, had been promoted to Kage when he was twenty-one years old, already had a loving wife, and a plan for his village. Gaara on the other hand, was stepping into his father's shoes at fifteen with no plan...and no wife.

Rasa had seen the writing on the wall as the Land of Wind's Daimyo slashed Suna's budget and opted for Konoha's less expensive services. The Kazekage saw his own village was in danger of extinction from within. In order to prevent that, he decided to focus on increasing the quality of the ninja in the village. That is why he did what he did. Gaara could honestly say he finally understood the Shikaku's purpose: to save Suna. And to Rasa, the cost of his son's life was of little consequence.

It was these types of things that dripped into Gaara's ramen broth and more. Things like: Rasa had been more prepared but still somehow failed, so how was Gaara supposed to compete? Things like, Rasa had deemed Gaara a monster and tested him as such. Did that mean Daagana, who was equally unstable and powerful, should be tested as well? Was he supposed to evacuate his whole village and trial her as he had been? Was that the Kage thing to do?

Suddenly furious with his own line of thought, Gaara threw his spoon down and slapped the bowl away from him, sending it flying into the wall. The other patrons all jumped collectively, but then waited to watch what would happen next. He was too angry to notice it but, Gaara would have been proud to see that they didn't run in terror at the first sign of trouble.

Ojiisan casually stepped towards him on the other side of the bar, pitying Gaara as he held his head in his hands. He could feel the old man's empathy radiating off him like the flickering lamp lights, and he didn't want any of it.

A Kage had no need for lenity. He needed to be strong like the Raikage, feared for his physical prowess; Sly like the old Tsuchikage, using whatever means necessary to serve his village; and Proficient as the Mizukage, who was promoted at an even younger age than Gaara. He seemed to be lacking in so much that he wasn't sure where to even begin to look for answers. His power only extended as far as the Shukaku was concerned, his slyness was nonexistent, and as proficient as he was in battle, his campaign to utilize verbal manipulation had all but destroyed one of the only things in his life that he'd created for himself.

Even though his eyes were pressed into the palms of his hands, Gaara sensed when Ojiisan quietly took the last bottle of leftover sake away. A preventative measure, probably. Couldn't have him getting so drunk he destroyed the village again. But then Gaara heard the sound of wood flapping and the squeeze of worn out leather, and he looked up to the old ramen man sitting beside him at the bar.

"Usually, I would wait for you to come to me, but I figure there ain't much time left before things can't be undone." Ojiisan stated evenly, twirling a chop stick around his knuckles. His body language seemed to be in conflict with his serene expression, just as Temari's had been in the hospital, and it only served to tire Gaara out before he even started to speak. He was so drained by people misleading him like this. But his words rang in Gaara's ears: 'can't be undone'.

"What do you mean?" He asked, staring at the acrobatic utensil.

"I know Gana may seem like a bit of a handful, but she's smarter than you think. She'll figure out you made it all up one way or another. But you should choose wisely as to whether you're the one who tells her or not." Gone was his usual lilting slur, the old man's speech was clean and sharp, and Gaara felt like he'd gutted him with it.

But before he could even open his mouth to repent, Kankurou came sliding around the corner of the shop, his face a mixture of relief and dismay.

"Gaara!" He cried as he bound up, seizing Gaara's shoulder and then panting heavily.

"What is it?" Gaara asked, annoyed that Kankurou was going to hold out on him just because he needed a breather! How absurd. There were only a handful of things his brother would come running to him for, one of them being that irreparable fate Ojiisan had just jabbed him with.

"It's Gana-" He started but Gaara couldn't help himself. The information just wasn't coming fast enough.

"What about her?" He rushed.

"First of all, she's fine, we found her." Kankurou tried to wave off any worry, but Gaara nearly choked on something similar to uncontrollable rage.

"Found her? You mean you lost her? Again?"

"Uhhh...more on that later." Kankurou gulped, realizing what a huge mistake he'd made, but tried to reign in the fury with the seriousness of the situation. "Right now we have much bigger problems." Gaara seemed to see his gravity, and surrendered his anger for another time.

"Tell me." He ordered.

"Daagana claims that it wasn't Giia who...who did those things to her."

"What?" Ojiisan, who had been quietly watching the boys, suddenly interjected.

"There were other Shinobi there." Kankurou explained, and turned back to his brother. "Gaara, I think Suna has been breached."

There was a moment of pause before Gaara's mind went into overdrive.

"Call a meeting with my advisers, and inform Baki to meet me at the admin building. Send word to the border garrison to double their shifts until further notice, and create a roster for extra patrols." Orders started to flow from Gaara's mouth. Whatever came to his mind came out in constrained rationale.

"Baki is at the hospital right now, you can talk to him when we get there." Kankurou gestured back the way he came, a small sense of solace blooming in his chest. He didn't know why but there was pride now where there used to be fear. Everything that Gaara had just said was exactly what he would have done, and Kankurou was overwhelmingly satisfied to watch it unfold.

"I won't be going to the hospital."

"Wait, what?" Kankurou did a double take, wondering if he'd heard right.

"Call the meeting, now." Gaara stood, pressing his hands firmly to the bar. His knees were a little weak and the characters on the menus seemed to dance, but he felt fine. His head was clear.

"But, Gaara." Kankurou's expression told him he couldn't believe that he was passing up a chance to see her. And the Ojiisan's frown made it apparent that Gaara was sealing his own fate.

So be it.

Gaara had made the decision to become the Kage because he wanted to keep the village safe. He had to decide what was more important: protect everyone, or protect her.

"That's an order."

Kankurou straightened his spine at the sound of the authority in Gaara's voice. It was a timbre he recognized, although he couldn't say he was entirely happy to hear it again: father. There had been moments here and there, in the right light, from the wrong angle, when Gaara looked just like him. There was no doubt that their father had worsened with age, but Kankurou assumed that they would have a little more time to combat that with Gaara. He was young and impressionable after all. But it seemed that his mind was made up, and there wasn't anything Kankurou could think of to change it. He and his sister had vowed to follow him to the ends of the earth. If that meant Daagana would be left behind...those were the consequences Gaara would have to suffer.

"...of course, Lord Kazekage."

* * *

I paced.

Temari lounged on my abandoned hospital bed while Hiniku sat in the window sill, watching the sun sink below the orange walls of the village. None of us could think of something to say after Baki had marched out, mumbling to himself. As far as King of conspiracy theories goes, Sensei took the cake. Nurses came in every once in awhile to draw blood or check my vitals. They'd gotten very good at doing it while I moved, because I refused to sit. They joined me up and down the length of the room, one lady holding her fingers to my wrist and watching the clock, another expertly trotting backwards and using her teeth to tighten the arm cuff for my blood pressure. I supposed I should be glad they got their work out in for the day, although as shinobi nurses, this probably didn't phase them at all.

I paced.

Before descending into another comatose state of connivance, Baki guaranteed that he would submit my statement for me and make it so I wouldn't have to relive that night over again. As assuring as that was, it offered little comfort. My jumbled memories seemed to hold the key to something sinister and yet, everyone kept telling me how 'okay' it was.

'How was any of this okay?', I wanted to snap back at them. Giia had compromised the safety of the village because of me, and I didn't even know how! How and where had she found those other people, who were more than willing to destroy someone else's child? And what could she even have promised them? It wasn't like she had any money. I put that question to rest when I thought of all the things she could have offered in return for my head. Despite a lifetime of excuses, it only stood to reason that she would have given them anything to see me die.

I paced.

But then...had she actually been there? Was she the one who pulled me up by my hair and told me I was still as worthless as the baby she had tried to kill? Was it her, or was it one of those other people? If Giia wasn't there at all, what did that mean? Was it too painful for her to watch? Or too delightful. Did she have something better to do than be there as I died?

The nurse who was taking my blood pressure gave me a sharp look as she gauged her monitor, but said nothing.

Annoyingly, Baki kept coming back to my thoughts, diluting them with the words he'd painted all over my heart: you can change for the ones you love, you don't have to remain a fool. Even though I'd made a bigger deal about being called a fool, it was the thought of change that had really jarred me.

I knew what I had been doing every time I traded a part of myself for Giia's happiness. But I convinced myself that my identity could be found in her, so losing myself to her whims wasn't such a bad thing. But I thought of them now, all those parts of me that had been lost to the universe: I hadn't had a bed since I was seven years old, but I thought Giia would be happy with the extra footage my room would give her closet, so I didn't cry and smiled when she was delighted. For the few weeks that I was a student at the academy, I was at the top of my class, but I couldn't balance Giia's spending habits without a job, and I couldn't have a job while going to school. It didn't matter how much I loved it, mother needed to come first. So I quit and went to work at the ramen shop. I liked to read, and Hiniku let me borrow books from time to time, but Giia told me that I wasn't worth the knowledge and used them as fuel for our furnace on a cold winter night. I ignored her jab at me, it was true that I was useless, but I didn't even stand up for the book that was someone else's property. I lied to Hiniku and said I lost it and promised to buy her a new one, silently knowing that she didn't believe me. Sleeping was my favorite past time, but I was always up at dawn to prepare Giia's breakfast, or hadn't been able to sleep at all due to her all night romps with someone she'd brought home from the bar. I picked up as many extra shifts as I could, morning or night, just so I could make sure she got her coffee everyday.

I had become this sort of hollowed out version of myself that was empty of thought or passion. Anything I wanted was always taken from me with no complaint, and things that I needed were sparse and fretfully given. She hated to provide for me, and even for herself. It was like she hated money she made on her own, she only like to spend mine. So what was she going to do when I was dead? Would she starve, would she freeze? Did she even care? What was she going to do when there was no one to look after her?

I paced.

* * *

"Daagana." Hiniku's voice broke through the fog of the room, making the other two girls look up and signaling for the nurses to leave. She was perched gracefully on the sill, resting her hands on her drawn knees. The rays of the setting sun burned a fire orange against her golden hair, making her look heavenly, masking her grave expression.

When she knew she had the other's attention, she continued. "Do you remember that book of fables I used to have?" She could see the book clearly in her head, a hefty green binding with gold lettering.

"Yes." Daagana answered, trying to hide in her voice what Hiniku knew was shame.

"I'm suddenly reminded of a story from it." Hiniku went on.

"Which?" Daagana asked, pausing her incessant march.

"The fable of the man and the snake. Do you remember it?" Hiniku asked, finally looking over at her friend. Daagana's long brown hair was dull from medicine and patchy from where it had been torn out. Her eyes, although clear and worried, were still puffy from all the crying she'd done earlier. And by the looks of the hospital gown that was supposed to be her size, she'd lost weight between Konoha and now. She was a wreck. Temari rolled onto her stomach, giving Hiniku a suspicious glare. But after what she was about to do, it wouldn't take long before it turned hostile.

Daagana shook her head in response, and Hiniku turned back to the window.

"One winter a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He felt compassion for it, and taking it up, placed it in his pack. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. 'Oh,' cried the Farmer with his last breath, 'I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.'"

The air hung in the room as they each looked at each other, knowing but not wanting to admit that they understood.

"Hiniku..." Temari breathed, taking in the girl with a surprisingly confounded gaze.

"Oh, and another one." Hiniku carried on, giving her best nonchalant wave, hoping no one would see how her teeth were clenched. "It is never too late to be who you might have been. Don't focus on what was taken away. Find something to replace it, and then acknowledge the blessing of being given a second chance."

"That's not a story." Daagana said quietly, hiding her face behind her dull patchy hair. She clenched the front of her gown, and Hiniku knew without looking that those gold eyes were welling up again.

"No, its advice. I figured I should leave you with something profound before you run to her again." Hiniku swung her legs over the side and got up, hoping that standing would hide her shake.

"What are you..." Temari cocked her head at the blonde, scrutinizing her, but not interfering, which was more than Hiniku could ask for at the moment.

This was the complete opposite of the correct approach, but she couldn't stop herself now. She had to build on what Baki had set in motion. If this were another time, another place, she would follow the steps: lay out the facts, use 'I' statements, ask open ended questions, be as sincere as possible. You weren't supposed to ask 'why can't you just leave?', you weren't supposed to make ultimatums. But she was tired of trying so hard! For years she had read the literature, sought help, but there was so little she could do when someone wouldn't help themselves!

So this was her final ditch effort, her last hurrah. If this didn't work, she wasn't sure what would...or if anything would.

"One more for the road? Some dogs famished with hunger saw a number of cowhides steeping in a river. Not being able to reach them, they agreed to drink up the river, but it happened that they burst themselves with drinking long before they reached the hides. Moral of the story? Don't attempt the impossible." She twisted her features into a scowl and Daagana only seemed to shrink into herself even more.

"Does this mean you're leaving?" Her voice was painfully small, and Hiniku wasn't sure she could endure it.

"Don't act like this is on me. You left us no choice." She roped in Temari, who was laying in her bed quietly, needing someone to share the burden with. To her surprise, Temari didn't argue or even try to stop her. Just as Hiniku had hoped, Temari saw what she was trying to do, no matter how misguided. "We can't take it anymore, because we know that despite everything, you are still going to run back to her with your tail tucked between your legs, begging for her to hit you!"

"I'm not going back to her!"

"I refuse to-wait...what?" Hiniku steamed right on through her rebuttal, sure she'd heard every excuse her friend could possibly come up with. Honestly, nothing could be more pitiful than the time Daagana tried to convince her she didn't count as human.

But this answer was so unexpected and everything Hiniku wanted, that she was sure she'd heard wrong.

"I said I'm not going back to her."

"Is this you getting back at me for my passive aggressive fables? Because that would be so not funny."

"I'm serious." Although her posture still portrayed her as a beaten stray, her gaze was steady and bright. Clear from tears maybe, but bright from absolute surety.

"How are you so confident all of the sudden?" Temari sat up on the bed. It was like that phrase, there are some things you can't take lying down.

"It was actually a lot simpler than I realized it would be. I just...found a love I wanted more than hers."

"Kami, Daagana! That would have been great to know before I started in on that horrible monologue!" Hiniku angrily threw herself at her friend, not sure whether she should be the one crying.

It felt too easy somehow. After years of arguing, of bargaining, of begging, of fighting, Daagana had found her way back by herself. It was poignant, and also a little disparaging, but Hiniku swallowed her chagrin. This is what she wanted after all, for her friend to understand her worth. It shouldn't matter that it wasn't her doing. All that mattered was she was there, she'd made it.

* * *

As much as I wanted Hiniku to think that it was her love I craved more than my mother's, we both knew she was too smart to fall for something like that. So when she finally pulled back, she cupped my face in her hands and gave me a good hard look. Was she trying to see the new me? Was there even such thing? And then my feet were telling me that I had been stationary for too long and all I wanted to do was run up and down the hallway. My stomach was a hive of bumblebees, and not the bad kind. She must have noticed because she grabbed my arm and checked my pulse herself.

"Sorry, I just...I'm so nervous that he's going to come here and I don't know what to say." I laughed nervously, unsure if I was going to throw up again.

"Who? Gaara?" Temari peeped, never moving from her chaise lounge of a hospital bed. From where I stood, she was the most stylish thing in the room. A pivotal piece of art that could never be bothered by emotional revelations.

But I also knew that Temari had blown 'Poor Side' to bits because of me. She was as cool as a cucumber, and as spicy as a chili pepper, my sister Temari.

"Why are you so nervous?" Hiniku asked when I pulled my wrist from her grasp, not wanting her to reveal how erratic my heartbeat actually was.

"A lot has happened...Where am I supposed to start?" I mumbled sheepishly, shuffling my feet.

"You start by demanding an apology." Hiniku announced.

"And if you could apologize too, that would help." Temari added.

"What does she have to apologize for?" Hiniku whirled on her.

"Well-" Temari started to explain, but Hiniku held up a finger.

"Could you actually just explain from the beginning? I'm missing a lot of pieces."

I chuckled as my feet trotted towards the window and then back towards the door. Maybe I thought they wouldn't notice if I started pacing again, but that was ignorant of me. Hiniku grabbed me and commanded me to sit on the other bed while Temari bullet pointed the synopsis to my life story.

"Let me break it down for you. Gaara opposed Daagana becoming a ninja for a few reasons: he was afraid she would get hurt, he knew too little about her power, and he thought if people knew about it, they would think she was a monster like him."

"Wait...how did you..." I balked at Temari, and then Hiniku, completely taken aback. They each gave me matching innocent looks, like the mention of my power didn't phase them at all, and that they completely forgot them knowing was news to me.

"Oh, I guess...you didn't know that we knew." Temari scratched her cheek awkwardly. It wasn't like her to be so thoughtless with information. Or maybe that had been her plan all along. Baki once said that Temari was the master of quite a few things, one of them being the subtle yet not subtle hint.

Even though I felt like another part of me was being exposed for how dirty it was, it didn't feel as near of an intrusion as I thought it would. Maybe it was because they weren't the first to know, or maybe it was because they didn't seem disgusted by it. I never considered hiding my powers from them as lying, but I suddenly found myself feeling relieved that the truth was finally out there. A burden I didn't realize I was carrying had been lifted from my shoulders.

"How?" I stumbled over the word, not knowing if I should ask or not.

"Gaara told me." "I've always known." They answered at the same time, as casually as if they were giving me a weather update. My jaw dropped at the sheer audacity of the both of them.

"Seriously!" I shouted.

"Anyway, so I suppose those terrible excuses are all understandable." Hiniku turned back to Temari, putting on her most understanding face. The one she reserved for a challenging lecture at the academy or a particularly long story from a patron at the bar.

"Hey!" I cried as they continued right along with Hiniku's catch up.

"So Gaara figured that the riot would be his excuse to take away her status. Oh, yeah, Daagana started a riot in Konoha." Temari continued scholarly.

"Geez, Gana. Diplomatic much?" Hiniku jeered, laughing behind her hand.

"Hello! Can we get back to what's important here?" I howled, wanting to return to the part about how they always knew, but Temari put on her evil grin.

"Of course! Gaara wanted her to stay in the village because he knew the village was safe, and I suppose he had a plan in place should the Giia problem pop up again."

"He was going to take care of it?" Hiniku asked seriously, and I gave her a sharp look. Up until now, they were being funny and dodgy, but she seemed as if she really wanted to know. What I wanted to know was what she meant by 'take care of it'.

"Even when he was a bloodthirsty maniac, Gaara didn't half-ass things. He had a strategy, I'm sure." Temari shrugged.

"So what do you expect Gana to apologize for?" Hiniku finished, and it was the only part of their comedy routine that I actually wanted to hear.

"For ruining said strategy." Temari listed. "For leaving the camp when she knew something was off. For assuming that since Gaara was upset, that we were all upset. Also for escaping your hospital room yesterday. I had a freaking heart attack, thank you."

"Sorry, Temari."


	20. Bumblebee

Gaara didn't know where he was going.

The meeting regarding village security had been a formality. Everyone showed the proper amount of concern, and most volunteered for extra shifts if needed. They were a squadron to be proud of, he knew. Some of the elders on the other hand...Gaara wished he could do without them. One woman in particular, the matriarch of the Hoki clan, had the gall to attribute every problem to 'Poor Side'; Stating that the people and that side of the village were nothing but trouble. Thankfully, Baki had piped up immediately, asking the woman what she thought should be done about it, since it seemed like such an issue. He had meant to embarrass her, but she charged right on. Drain the swamp, she said! Gaara nearly threw her out, then and there. She was talking about obliterating an entire caste of people for simply being poor! Despite all his short comings, one thing that would make Gaara a good Kage was that he knew what it was to be desperate. The sort of gloom that had its hand firmly around his people was one he was very familiar with. He walked with it most every night like an old friend. And it accompanied him even now, as he trekked a path around his city.

"Are you sure this is how you want to do this?" Kankurou had asked him when the meeting was adjourned. Gaara knew he wasn't referring to the garrison patrols, or the public announcement they were planning. No, his brother wanted to know if Gaara understood the gravity of his decision to not go to the hospital. The answer was yes, he understood what it meant. Whether or not he would survive it was different. This decision was not like the one he made in the woods, fueled out of absolute desperation. There in the dark of the forest, all he wanted was to see her again. She'd shoved every other avenue aside, forced his gaze to only seek her. Because of that, Gaara nearly abandoned his duty as the Kage. He couldn't make that mistake again, not when it mattered like now. This was a real life situation, and he couldn't afford to have her turn his focus.

His only consolation was that in deciding to protect his village, he would be protecting her as well. She was one of his people after all. But what was he supposed to do when he dangerously wanted her to be more than that? Even if she didn't cloud every one of his senses, there was still the matter of her power. He'd played that entire situation by ear, guided on the leash of Baki's trust. But he couldn't get his father out of his head! Gaara wasn't meant to be loved, Rasa had said. Gaara was meant to kill. Wouldn't everyone ridicule her for loving him? Wouldn't the village accuse her of reenacting 'Beauty and the Beast' and then tell her to quit dreaming? Worse yet, what if they found out she had the ability to combat his sand? They would brand her a monster, just like him, and he couldn't decide what was worse.

Monsters...damn-this whole village was a powder keg, and she was the fuse.

'It's not the face that makes someone a monster. It's the choices they make with their life.' The words rang out of nowhere, and Gaara swore it was the annoying blonde in his head. Naruto was technically a monster too, wasn't he? The Shukaku had rattled on for days about seeing an old friend in the boy's blue/red eyes. He had friends, he had love, he had the backing of his village. Surely if he could break through Gaara's shell, Daagana could break through theirs.

Gaara halted in the middle of a deserted street, groaning. He'd been desperately trying not to say her name. Her name was like a gateway. It threw open the floodgates for everything else about her that intoxicated him: her eyes, her scent, her laughter, her company. There were so many things that he wouldn't be able to do or see without thinking of her now: the Oasis festival, the journey to Konoha, miso ramen with extra fish cakes, shuriken practice, the hospital...

When had it gotten like this? When had she captured his heart? Until recently, he was convinced he didn't have one; that he'd killed too many people for the fun of it to be qualified as human. But here she was, somehow enslaving him to her with only her presence. He couldn't think of anything else, she seemed to take up his whole world. Where did she go, why wasn't he with her? Why did he have to care so much about anything else? Should he give up being the Kage? He could probably live on her love alone, so why should it matter if he changed what others thought of him? Surely she was all he needed!

His chest felt like it was caving in on his lungs and his stomach was twisting into knots. He felt every pain and pleasure, and so much more. He didn't think he could stand it. How did people do this!? How did they function with no logic or reason? Despite his body raging at the very inkling of her...he knew it wasn't right. He knew that something was off, that she had possessed him in the same way that the Shukaku screwed with his mind. She tiptoed around his thoughts, shading them a little darker than he wanted.

But she wasn't evil-No. She was just...as haunted as he was. He had to help her. He had to fix it. He had to save her, whether or not she wanted to be saved.

All of the sudden, Gaara sensed an attack coming from behind him! He hadn't been paying attention, too focused on his lack of focus, and didn't have enough time to dodge. Knowing his sand would stop it, he bent his knees and braced as something that felt like a wrecking ball smashed against his back, sending him careening forward. His sand had protected him, but wasn't unmovable. He stumbled clumsily, not used to being pushed, but decided to use the momentum to flip away from the secondary attack he assumed was coming.

Gaara jumped atop one of the buildings on the side of the dark street, searching for his attacker, but found nothing. He might have thought he was going crazy except for the pothole that was just left in the road. He tried to detect a chakra signature, but there were too many people nearby for him to get any sort of tactical reading. The road was deserted, lined with small but tidy sand houses. Fortunately, no one seemed to be home, although they were close enough by to mess with his senses. Perhaps a market party...or someone had told them to leave before hand, knowing that they would make a mess?

This time, he knew the sensation of the attack before it was too late for him to avoid it. The second blow came from the side, but Gaara leapt in the air at the last moment. Despite it being a full moon and a clear sky, he had to squint to make out the blob of darkness that took out a chunk of the building he was just sitting on. Someones roof=gone. Then, faster than he anticipated, the darkness grew back against itself and changed direction, shooting up above him. With no surface to push from, Gaara watched helplessly as the shadow arm came down on him like a hammer to a nail. His sand shielded him yet again, but he was slammed downward, crashing into the ground. A snapshot of memory from the Chuunin exams blinded him for a moment: Rock Lee, that uncontrollable, animal rage pounding through him. He felt it creep up his spine now, spiraling from the beast in his belly.

 _Be furious!_ The Shukaku howled. _Kill them!_ But the blood lust seemed to thicken and slow, shriveling back to where it came from in the depths of his heart. He would not be that monster anymore!

Not giving him a millisecond to counter, a figure appeared in the sky above him. She looked like a star in the night sky, her arms and legs stretched out wide, pale and shining in the moonlight.

It was Daagana.

She landed on top of him with the deafening crunch of earth under her hands and feet. His first thought was to fight her, to throw her off and unleash his demon upon her...just to see what she would do. His next instinct was to grab hold of her and never let go. They could die in each other's arms for all he cared. But in reality, the only thing he found himself capable of doing was to stare at her, jaw slack, eyes wide and suspiciously brimming. How long had it actually been since he'd seen her? A day? Maybe two? So why did she look so different?

Daagana reared back and slammed both her hands on either side of his head again, fingers grinding into the sand, her face leaning inches away from his own. She was practically laying on him, and his body was screaming at him that it was not a bad thing! She crouched over him like a wild animal, snarling and baring her teeth. The whites of her eyes were tinged with shadows and bloodshot as they darted around, like she was looking for his face, but the elation was just too much for her to focus. Gaara laid as still as he could, despite the wind being knocked out of him by her blow. She barely resembled herself, this feral thing on top of him. He felt like he was in one of Hiniku's bedtime stories: he the innocent meal, and Daagana, the wolf.

With a sudden, spastic jerk, she turned her head to the side, popping her neck and rolling her eyes until just the whites showed. So unhinged was the movement that Gaara felt like he was looking at himself from a year ago: in love with the blood, craving the flesh, yearning for the love that it proved. She'd turned into him! She'd given in to the monster he had just only conquered.

It took him twelve years-his whole life-to fight for control of his own thoughts. Was he about to wait as long for her to come back to her senses?

Like she was able to focus a little more, Daagana leered down at him, able to meet his eye now. They still shook in place, as if she was putting all her effort into looking at him, like there was a bee buzzing between them and she was forcing herself _not_ to look at it.

"You look scared." She sneered, moving her head from side to side, trying to see each angle of his face. He refused to acknowledge the movement caused her to rub on him in a way that he couldn't even begin to process.

"You're scary." He returned distractedly. He couldn't think with her on him like this! He'd carried her in his arms more than once, but all those times she had seemed like a broken little bird he was taking home to mend. Now she was a hawk who had sunk her talons into her prey. He was the meal, he was the mouse. And he hated that he was okay with that.

"You're hardly one to speak." She said lightly, teasingly. She pulled her hand from the earth and traced the lines of the tattoo on his forehead. It was a loaded gesture, one that made him suddenly livid.

"You have never seen that side of me." He growled, knowing that she was implying that he was the scary one by the scar he'd given himself. She hadn't seen the shukaku, or what it did to him. He promised himself that she never would, that she was worth sacrificing whatever was necessary to make that reality. But now...he wasn't so sure.

"Just as _you've_ never seen this side of _me_." She made a sweeping gesture with her hands, like she was presenting herself for show. He wanted to tell her she looked rabid, that this was a dangerous path she was going down, but he was just angry.

"Stop this. You have no idea what you're doing." His command was flat and bitter, more so than he would have liked. He knew she could pick up things like that when it came to him. A side effect of spending so much time together. He didn't ever think that it was going to put him at a disadvantage.

"Why should I?" She slammed her hands back down on either side of his head, back into their holes. "This was the only way I could get what I wanted. What right do you have to tell me to stop?"

"Daagana-" He tried, but she mocked him with her best 'Gaara' impersonation.

" _Gaara_." She sat up and fisted her hands on her hips, schooling her face into a jester-like version of him. It was supposed to be funny, but it only served to insult him.

He kept silent for a moment, debating on how to respond. It was like his inner voice had manifested to ridicule him. He'd been dodging these questions all night from himself, and now she was suddenly here, bringing them to life. What other choice did he have but to state his defense and hope it stood up?

"I had to make a decision." He stated.

"I'm well aware of that." Again she bent back down, this time reaching for one of his arms and pushing it out to the side. He didn't resist, figuring nothing could be worse than the position he was already in.

"It was for the good of the village." He tried again, allowing her to move his other arm, so that they were open wide and she pinned him to the ground. His anger was waning at his own uncertainty, but she didn't seem to care. She was going to taunt him no matter his mood it seemed.

"Was it? Because as a villager, I don't feel very served." She leaned down closer to his face, her breath drifting across his cheeks. Her breasts rested on his chest and he tried to press himself further into the ground.

"Giia compromised the safety of the village. When people find out you're her daughter and that she tried to kill you, they'll-" Words rattled out of his mouth, her proximity causing him to panic. Not a little bird! Not a little bird!

"They'll what?" She sat up, giving him enough room to suck in a big breath. She was torturing him. "Try to kill me too? Your logic is flawed, little Kage." Even if the threat of her had not been present, her general closeness was making him wild. His brain and his body were clashing. His blood was thundering through his veins, and he wanted her to lean close to him again. He wanted her to keep moving, swaying up and down like a snake-

No, he wanted her off! He needed space or his head would never clear!

"Little?" He blurted, trying to think of something, anything to derail the conversation. She was so scattered as it was, if he could redirect her insanity, maybe he could end this.

"You know I always thought it and never said anything, but you really are short." Her face was a mixture of phony pity and realization, one Gaara was absolutely sure would never have crossed the real Daagana's face.

Real Daagana? Was this not the real one?

"Who are you?" He asked next, and made a move like he was trying to pull out from under her hands.

"What ever do you mean?" She asked sweetly, and tightened her grip on his arms. He wasn't actively trying to move, but maybe if he could distract her for a moment...

"You look like her, and smell like her. You even speak with her voice, but you are not Daagana."

"That's real funny coming from someone with a demon in their belly!" She released one of his hands and slid hers down his stomach, dangerously low.

"Whatever has possessed you, fight it!" He quickly grabbed her wrist with his free hand, pure panic pounding in his ears, trying to unbalance her.

"Why should I? What good will it do me to go back to how I was?" She resisted.

"Daagana..." Gaara tried to use her struggle to pull himself up, hopefully pushing her backwards, but she flailed unpredictably.

"I waited and waited. I gave up everything just so you would walk through that door. I was willing to give up my mother just so you would love me!"

"I-" He went still at her confession, but her eyes were darting again, and it seemed like whatever hold she'd had on herself was slipping.

"But you never came! You chose the village over me!"

"I had to! I am the Kage! It is my responsibility to protect my people!" He tried to push her back again, but she threw all her body weight forward, putting him back on the ground and laying all over him in the process. His space was gone, his breath was gone, his mind went to war with his body.

"You didn't protect me very well, now did you? Did you not see the pieces of my skull, or the blood? Sands, there was so much blood!" She bleated and the sound scraped against his ears. With his last ounce of free will, he tightened his grip on her arm and jerked, making her look at him.

"I swear to you, I will never let that happen again."

"What good is your word when you haven't spoken to me in days?" She nearly screamed, and Gaara knew that her composure was lost. "What good are you if I can defeat you?!" Letting go of his other arm, she sat up and reared a fist back.

Bending his legs and planting both feet behind her, Gaara was about to put his limited knowledge of grappling to use when, Daagana was suddenly flung to the side nearly a hundred feet. She rolled and rolled like her arms and legs were blades of grass and her head tumbled along behind, coming to rest in a heap of flesh and hair. Even though she didn't weigh much, Gaara sucked in a welcome breath after her sitting on his stomach for so long. A pair of sandals appeared by his head, and he glanced up at three Suna shinobi.

Damn! Extra patrols!

"Lord Kazekage! Are you alright?" One of them asked, helping Gaara to his feet as the other two moved to head off the threat.

"Oh man," the second boy lamented, "this was supposed to be the easy shift!"

"What the hell is that?" The last ninja remarked, and Gaara looked down the road to where he pointed, as Daagana scrambled to her feet. She jolted and skidded, like someone being jerked from every side. She seemed like she could barely stand and her limbs flopped around like they had minds of their own.

"She is one of us." Gaara snapped at his men, frantic. If they tried to face her, there was no telling what kind of damage she could do. He couldn't even protect them! The three of them looked to him with confused faces, not understanding how that _thing_ could be one of them. They wore the standard uniforms and flak jackets of new Chuunin and that unintentional information only served to stress Gaara even more.

"What the hell?" Gaara reeled at the familiar voice as Hiniku seemed to appear behind him. She was wearing a hospital gown somehow fashionably mixed with standard shinobi wear, like she'd just escaped from a triage tent. "What have you done?" She cried when she spotted Daagana's twitching form down the road.

"I..." Gaara tried to find the words to explain, to tell her that he literally hadn't done anything, she'd just come that way but, then realized that there were no words for that.

What had he done? What hadn't he done?

"Who let her out of the hospital?" He thundered instead. He didn't have a response for her, but he needed answers to be able to understand how exactly this was his fault. Because it definitely was...he just wasn't sure how. Hiniku didn't even grace him with a tentative step backwards. He felt like a lion roaring at a lioness who couldn't care less about his fangs. The wind just blew through her hair with an unimpressed breeze. It wasn't the time or place, but Gaara remembered it then, that Hiniku had never been afraid of him. She'd never stared, or cowered, or run. Hell, the first time she'd met him she demanded his assistance and spoke to him like a normal man. If they got out of this alive, and hopefully they would, he figured he should do something to show his gratitude.

But first...

"When she left the hospital, she was calm and levelheaded. She came to find you because Kankurou said you weren't going to show. I don't know what happened between there and here." It was a crisp assessment, and he didn't dodge the jab her words made. It seemed his brother wasn't holding anything back these days, which of course he shouldn't have. But it would have been nice to have a little warning, Gaara thought. He had expected Kankurou to cover for him without being told to do so, but forgot that his brother hadn't agreed with him. And while Kankurou could be counted on in all manners of state, this was a family matter, and the eldest knew best. Or so he liked to think.

This definitely did not seem like the better option to the alternative.

Gaara looked back at Daagana who was stumbling up the road towards them, drunk on darkness. He hadn't seen it before, but now he could make out the tips of her fingers and toes stained black, and her hair seemed wet with shadows that dripped into sizzling pools as she walked. Her eyes were lazer focused on him, but he looked at everything but her face.

 _'Black and Gold do look so good together!'_ The Shukaku twittered and Gaara gritted his teeth. Now was not the time for that fat dog to interfere!

He needed to think tactically. This was a mission now, with Suna Shinobi present, there was no way for him to cover it up. They were going to think that Daagana was the security breech, that's just how juxtaposition worked. First an emergency meeting with no defined intel, and now a threat inside the walls. People were going to accuse her of finishing what her mother started!

What could he do? What advantage could he create for his men? How could he get them all (Daagana included) out of this?

It was standard practice in the academy to host war games with certain situations and criteria, one of which being: fighting a teammate under a genjutsu. Students were taught to incapacitate or immobilize rather than maim or kill. But against an enemy such as Daagana, it would be easier said than done. From her earlier attacks, Gaara estimated that she was a long range opponent, but he didn't know how much taijutsu she had learned at the academy before she dropped out. Surely not enough to take on his Chuunin. But there was also the matter of her shadows, which Gaara figured operated on the same level as his sand: partly sentient. If she could use her darkness to smash through a wall, she could use it to block a kunai or slice through flesh.

"Gaara..." Hiniku drew out the last syllabul of his name, like a warning or a plea. Hurry up and think of a plan, she seemed to glare. Clean up your mess! The four of them stood in a line against a fallen angel, and he couldn't think!

He was frozen on the battlefield. This had never happened to him, in his entire life! He lived here, he was born here! Blood was etched into his sandals and flesh was seared under his fingernails. He was a monster, everyone knew it. So why was it that when he needed that strength the most, it was no where to be found?

What was he going to do to save his people?


	21. Smoke Screen

**Smoke Screen**

Kankurou stood outside the door to Daagana's room for so much longer than he meant to, his hand resting lightly on the handle. Through the window he could see the three girls inside talking about whatever it was that those three talked about. Temari seemed to have forgiven Gana, and Hiniku acted like she'd stopped taunting his sister into a fist fight (although it would have been the fight of a lifetime). Any tension from before seemed to have dissipated, all fear of the dark was gone, yet for some reason he couldn't cross over. Everything in him wanted to move forward, his feet were itching to dash inside and grab Gana. He wanted to hug her as tight as he could, and when she asked what had gotten into him...

When she asked why he looked so sad...

When she saw he was alone and she figured it out for herself...

That was why he idled. It was why he couldn't bring himself to open the door.

"Uhh, Captain?" There was an abrupt tap on his shoulder, and Kankurou gulped. It seemed that the door was about to open whether he was ready for it or not.

"Yes?" He turned to a nurse and doctor giving him confusing looks.

"Is it locked?" The nurse asked. She was young, probably around his age, and fresh out of the medic academy. Kankurou's first instinct was to flash her a charming grin and make some comment about how the door wasn't the only thing she could have the privilege of unlocking for him, but...his quip died on his tongue.

"No." He answered instead.

"Well, it's time for the patient's checkup. Shall we go in together?" The girl stepped around him and slid open the door. To everyone else, it probably seemed like an innocuous gesture, but to Kankurou it looked like she threw it open with gusto. How was she not ashamed to enter? Did she realize that she was probably the last person Gana wanted to see?

And that the only one she did want...wasn't coming?

"Excuse me." Kankurou grabbed the wrist of the doctor who had accompanied the nurse. He was a short older man who looked like he was going prematurely grey. He didn't seem surprised when Kankurou ordered rather than asked, "Speak with me for a moment."

The doctor simply reached and closed that gaping hole in the wall that felt like it was pulling Kankurou in with its own gravity. With the door shut, he felt relieved, but also right back where he started. When the older man turned back to him, his face was a portrait of astounding pity.

Kankurou figured he probably knew; knew why he was alone in the hallway, why he couldn't go inside, knew exactly who this girl was and what she meant to the village. Grandpas have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff, they just understood.

"What can I do for you, Captain?" He asked kindly, lacing his fingers around a manila medical chart.

"Tell me-" Kankurou scrambled for a title, and saw a name stitched into the man's breast pocket, "Dr. Iryo, straight up-is she really going to be okay?"

Dr. Iryo seemed to think for a moment on how he should answer before turning and looking through the peephole Kankurou had been leering through for an hour.

"The short answer would be, yes. In truth, Captain, she got the hell beat out of her, and by the looks of her charts, it wasn't the first time." He flipped open the folder in his hands and took out an x-ray for Kankurou to see. With just the light of the hallway, he could make out a full skeletal system, from nose to toes. Everything seemed to be in its proper place, but the old man pointed out several bright white lines on the long bones and joints.

"What are those?" Kankurou asked.

"Breaks, healed ones." The doctor answered, taking the x-ray back. "Usually we see this type of trauma from high level Taijutsu experts, Shinobi who use their body as shields. But I take it that's not the case here." He gestured through the door to where Gana was waiting.

Shinobi who use their body as a shield? It was an accurate enough description, but saying shield usually implied that she was protecting something, and honestly, what did Daagana have left to protect?

"No, it's not." He mumbled, feeling suddenly idiotic for standing outside the door for so long.

"To be straight with you, sir," The old man went on, "While the study from Konohagakure was invaluable in healing her...it's my medical opinion that anyone else would have died."

"What do you mean?"

"I have lived through things you have yet to see, Captain. I understand what it means to be beaten again and again with no hope of rescue…and so does she. That girl in there...she should have died, but she didn't. Probably because she was used to it."

Kankurou's first thought was that he was talking to a ninja who had lived through the last great war, and he had so many questions. But his next was that the old man said his friend was supposed to be dead, and he was busy standing outside like a coward. She seriously went through hell and back, and he couldn't deliver a little bad news? Granted, this bad news was most of the reason she took the trip.

"Shall we go in now, though? You can't stay out here forever. Visiting hours will be over soon."

"But it's only-" Kankurou glanced to the window only to find that the sun was nearly set. Seriously? "Come on, son. Doctor's orders." Dr. Iryo clapped a hand on Kankurou's shoulder and slid the door open. Before he could protest, the old man pulled him into the room.

Nothing seemed different like he thought it would. The air around him didn't crackle with unspoken suspense, there was no cloud of doom hovering over the four women as they chatted.

"You're finally back! Took you long enough." Temari said lazily, lounging on one of the hospital beds like it was an exotic Tsuki rug; feet wagging in the air, her fan shoved off in the corner. She played perfectly comfortable perfectly, but Kankurou could tell she was galled. She still despised hospitals. Ever since mom died, his sister loathed the sterile walls and unhappy staff. She'd never said it aloud, but he guessed she hated the fact that it reminded her of everything she lost, or the death of everything she could have had. She wasn't the only one who wondered how life would have turned out had Gaara never been born...

He chided himself for thinking of that now, it was hardly going to help. It used to be an easy daily thought, back when Gaara was nothing more than a looming shadow on his back. But now it didn't seem appropriate. His brother was about to be the Kage after all. His brother was about to make the biggest mistake of his young life as well, so perhaps Kankurou was putting too much stock in titles.

Hiniku had her feet propped up on the bed frame as she leaned back in a chair, a posture that mimicked his own hospital pose to a T. She was clicking through the channels on the small black and white TV that came in every room, her expression the picture of boredom. Nothing was ever on, and Kankurou actually couldn't remember a time when he'd sat down and watched something all the way through. And lastly, Daagana wasn't so much pacing as she was prancing up and down the length of the wall, hands wringing in front of her, dancing on the balls of her feet. Her steps were uneven, long strides hiccupped with baby shuffles. It looked like she was thinking back and forth between two options and each had a foot pattern to match. It reminded Kankurou of Temari's tick, ripping the petals off flowers, or tearing a leaf to shreds, 'He loves me, he loves me not'.

All the while, in the background, the young medic woman was systematically checking Daagana's monitors and vitals, under the watchful eye of Dr. Iryo. The girl seemed to like the hustle and bustle of the room, but Kankurou caught the old man's look once again and grimaced. Perhaps if he just went along like nothing was wrong, nobody would ask about it. Nobody would wonder where he was or why he wasn't coming to see the presumed love of his life.

Kankurou stood awkwardly by that once forbidding door, not sure what to do now that he was in the room. Temari had announced him, but they seemed to see through him, almost like...exactly like they were waiting for someone else. He avoided looking at Gana's sashays up the wall only to catch Temari giving him her analytical stare. One eyebrow shot up in a question, he knew exactly which one, and he shook his head with the answer:

Gaara wasn't coming.

Temari was suddenly a furious silent sandstorm. If it was physically possible, smoke would have shot out of her ears, she was so mad. She jumped up from where she had been laying (subtly) and jutted her chin out at Daagana.

'Tell her!' she was saying, but Kankurou shook his head fervently, like a child throwing a tantrum. He couldn't. He didn't want to. He wasn't supposed to be the one who brought bad news, he was supposed to be the one who cheered everyone up after. He couldn't be the harbinger, he didn't know how!

But Temari's eyebrows contended, threatening violence. Still he resisted, until she forcibly sighed and turned away from him in disgust. It wasn't an unusual expression for her. She seemed disappointed with him most days, but it was one of the first times when he felt like he deserved it.

Dr. Iryo and the medic finished their exams and reminded everyone visiting hours would end soon, before leaving. The old man didn't even bother to give Kankurou any sort of reassuring nod or anything. Did he not realize he was supposed to be the supportive grandfather figure in this scenario? Or maybe it was his way of saying he disagreed with Kankurou's actions too.

But it wasn't until they were out the door and Temari was gearing herself up, that he realized his mistake. His sister got up from the bed and stood at attention in the middle of the room. Her back was ramrod straight and she cleared her throat. She looked like a very angry academy teacher who didn't take any crap from anybody. He would have absolutely hated her. He would have had no problem skipping her class.

His sister, who didn't have a subtle bone in her body, was about to destroy Daagana with a few words, words she had literally risked her life for. Words that could be avoided if he would just man up!

"Daagana," She started and sent Kankurou into a panic, "about Gaara."

"What about him?" Daagana halted her strutting, her hands frozen in a perpetual death grip. She was hanging on those words, everyone could tell.

"He-"

"He got tied up!...with work...very very busy. Kage things, you know. So he can't be here...right now. But-but, he said he's relieved to hear you're better."

A rather stunned silence fell over the room as all eyes scanned over Kankurou's sweating face, searching for the source of whatever the hell it was that just came out of his mouth.

"He's busy?" Temari slowly turned in his direction, hissing through her teeth. Kankurou only managed to meet her glare for a moment, but he was absolutely sure that she was going to tear his arms off.

"I guess that makes sense, although I gotta say, I'm pretty disappointed." Hiniku yawned from her chair, where she hadn't moved a muscle. She wasn't fazed by his bullshit or by the horrible anxiety filling up the room like passed gas.

"Baki seemed worried too." Daagana muttered, and Kankurou found that to his complete and utter horror...

She believed him.

He and Temari exchanged a shocked look before jumping on the bandwagon.

"Things were always going to be different when he took over." She encouraged, shooting glances at Kankurou to add on.

"Right, some adjustments were bound to happen. But you don't have to worry because-" He tossed back.

"Because Gaara knows what's important." She finished, and the pair seemed far too proud of themselves.

"Meh," Hiniku said again, tossing the remote control on the bed, finally bored with the TV, "still a letdown."

"Maybe I should..." Daagana glided away from the wall, leaving the safety of her imaginary line, just like he left the security of the door. "Maybe I should go to him?" She offered the option tentatively, and frantic glances were exchanged by the other three.

"I mean-" Kankurou stuttered out the first excuse that popped into his head, "that may not be the best idea. He said he's busy right? He may not be at the office. For all we know he could be half way to Konoha by now." Still trying to remain inconspicuous, Temari slapped his arm with much more force than he thought possible for such a small swing.

'Half way to Konoha?' Her eyebrows asked, 'Are you a moron?'

"But I should still try." Daagana offered.

"You should stay here and get some rest. I'm sure he will be here the moment he is able." Temari soothed, gliding forward and offering her arms to Daagana as a sort of anchor.

Kankurou's heart ached at the sight of his once bright friend looking so feeble. Her eyes somehow still held their fire, but she seemed so small, in so much need of saving. Why wouldn't Gaara come? When she needed so little to be sustained? She wasn't asking for the world, just a little love. Love never killed anybody...right?

"Knock, knock." Dr. Iryo slid open the door again (Kankurou figured he was showing off). "Visiting hours are over for today, I'll have to escort you all to the lobby. But don't worry, you can always come back in the morning." Obediently, Temari and Kankurou said their goodbyes and headed for the door, but not Hiniku. She just flopped down on the other bed and kicked off her sandals like she owned the place.

"Hello, come on." Temari jeered, but Hiniku flashed her an impish grin.

"I'm still a patient. I was never discharged."

"That's because you left against doctor's orders." Dr. Iryo grunted.

"So sue me." She shrugged and closed her eyes like she was going to sleep. The doctor didn't seem like it was worth his time to argue and continued to lead the other two out.

"Half way to Konoha? Blazing Sands, I didn't realize you could be any more of an idiot, but here we are!" Temari's hiss was worse than her scream as they stalled safely out of earshot in the lobby.

"Give me a break. It was the first thing that came to mind." Kankurou shrunk, not wanting to listen to the lecture that was coming. Didn't she know that he was berating himself plenty already? He didn't need her added fuel for his pyre of self-loathing.

"The first thing that should have come to your mind was the truth, you cretin." She nearly spit on him, her face such an image of disgust. He had never minded his sister's opinion. She was too cold and calculating for her own good, after all. But, the way she was looking at him now...

It bothered him. Really really bothered him.

"Who the hell are you to talk?" He retorted. "I didn't see you contradicting me."

"That's because it wouldn't have done any good." Temari turned away from him, letting out a frustrated sigh. "All you did was buy us time, and all I did was implicate myself in your lie." She turned back to him, and he saw that some of the revulsion had eased from her face. "Now, when Gana is still alone this time next week, she'll blame us both."

* * *

"Please don't go." Hiniku's voice pushed my pause as I stood already frozen, my fingers poised over the door handle, as they had been for the past twenty minutes. The darkness of the new night clung to the corners of the room, only broken by the lights from Suna coming alive out the window.

"I have to." I whispered, mostly for my own benefit. She was still in her bed by the wall as far as I could tell, where as I had been perched by the door since my mattress felt more like a bed of needles than anything restful. "You heard them."

"What I heard was an astounding stream of bullshit." Even in the darkness, I knew her eyes were rolling. Somehow, Temari and Kankurou thought their performance had been convincing enough to put aside our worries. Almost immediately after they left though, I started to shuffle around the room again, Hiniku following after me with the same expression she'd worn all night. But there was a new wrinkle between her eyes, a sign she didn't believe them anymore than I had.

"Exactly. Something must be wrong. What if Giia—" I glanced over my shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of her in the dark. Even the curve of her little nose would have given me a boost of confidence.

"So what if Giia? If Giia's dead, wonderful. If Gaara killed her, even better. But either way, it is none of your concern." I could see the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, tucked under the blanket, her hands resting behind her head. No one else would have known, but after countless sleepless nights beside her, I knew that this posture was Hiniku's thinking pose. She almost always slept on her stomach, so her idling on her back staring at the ceiling, told me that she'd been with me the whole twenty minutes I'd been standing at the door debating on whether or not to go.

"But Gaara..." I said next, walking through the formality of my usual concerns.

"Your mother cannot hurt Gaara." Hiniku scoffed at the very notion. It was true at least, _that_ fear of mine was ridiculous. Gaara was the Kazekage, the most powerful Shinobi in all of Suna. There was no way my mother, who had never fought anyone but me and maybe a rowdy John, could even lay a finger on him. But it wasn't necessarily my mother that I was all that worried about.

"But Suna." I said lastly, and to this, Hiniku didn't reply. The streetlamps along the road outside the hospital cast a glow against her outline. She seemed unreal, even though I could feel her in the room just as I always had. She always made me feel better. It wasn't about the medical jutsu or healing my cuts and scrapes. It was her presence. Her very existence continually gave me such relief. When I would stumble to her home or to the ramen bar after a fight or rough morning, her bouncy golden curls never failed to bring me back. It was Hiniku who had been my life line for so long. She was my salvation. If Hiniku had not been there, if she had left like everyone else had…I would be long gone.

But now, I needed to be someone's life line.

The wheels of the door slid easily in their tracks without so much as a squeal.

"Just…" Hiniku's voice stopped me once again as my toes inched over the threshold, "be careful. This isn't over yet." I nodded to the hallway, knowing she couldn't see, but understanding that she wasn't looking at me anyway.

We were at the edge of something, everyone knew it. Suna, breached? Gaara, missing? Me, in the middle. There was no time to be careful. All I could afford to be was a Shinobi, and pray that whatever was inside of me was willing to fight for my life.

* * *

The night was cold on the street. A misconception about the desert is that it is always hot, but that's not true. Sand that usually warmed my steps was cold between my toes as I trudged towards the admin building. There wasn't a trace of sunlight left in the sky, and the stars shone brightly against the blackness of space. The city was still alive, despite the new frigidity of the air, we were used to it after all. Suna was still Suna, even though I wasn't the same girl I had been yesterday. The brown and orange walls of the village were a welcome sight, and walking on the same streets that I grew up on bolstered my steps. This was still my home. I still had every right and responsibility to protect it…even if I was technically the one endangered in the first place.

My path took me into a busy night market that was just beginning to set up. Stalls lined the street on either side, sporting colorful arrays of exotic fruits, silks, perfumes, knick-knacks, and other oddities that one couldn't find during the day time. The shroud of night was always when the strangers came out. They would leak from between the alleyways, unreliable faces that wouldn't have any business at the morning fair. Giia always found plenty of customers here, and likewise, it was a place that I skipped through often. Some spices or books that I wanted could not always be obtained…evenhandedly, as they say. So I was no foreigner to the fuzzy lights and smoke screens that blocked out the moon. I mean, why did they need the sky when they could make you see anything you wanted, for the right price?

I pressed through the crowd of people, bodies bouncing off bodies, arms slinking around looking for a loose pocket. It was hectic and exciting. Old women barked from behind their tables, holding up fake gold jewelry that caught the light of their lamps. It was definitely a place where one could be blinded by just about anything. And as I drifted along in the sea of blank faces, I caught the eyes of the boy next to me. He was beside me one moment, much closer than I realized, but then he ducked between two stalls, pulling me along behind him. I didn't even noticed he'd hooked his arm through mine until we were squished between the tables, safely out of the stream of people. I must have looked shocked, because he smiled apologetically and held his hands up by his face, probably to block in case I went to hit him.

"Sorry, there was just no way you were going to be able to hear me out there." He had dark green hair that was buzzed close to his scalp, although the lights of the stalls could have thrown off the hue. He seemed young enough to be an academy student, but his calmness made me think he was older than that.

"What do you want?" I managed to ask, not quite as polite as I could have been, but he'd interrupted a very important self-assigned mission. I didn't have time to deal with whatever it was he was about to say. His clothes were plain, tan and beige, something you could buy on any corner, and he didn't have a forehead protector or anything identifying about him. As far as I could see, he was just a normal kid.

But…there was just something off about how he held himself as he tentatively took a step forward, leaning his lips close to my ear.

"Where are you headed, little Ramen Rat?" The hiss that glided over my face was sharp, and I recoiled as if struck, but his hands were on me again without my recognizing them. One arm was looped around my back and the other hand was squeezing my wrist so hard I thought it might break. It would be such a shame, since I had just had it fixed! But it kept me contained and still, close enough that our cheeks touched. Anyone passing by would think we were lovers, sneaking away to catch our feelings in a dark corner. The thought alone made me scramble, and I tried to shove away from him, but my body was still weak, and my mind never considered using my powers. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not safe to wander the streets alone?" His breath on my ear again sent shivers down my spine, and I turned my head away. It wasn't the best plan, seeing as the market was loud and busy as it was, but yelling was possibly my only option. Although, my screaming wasn't going to draw that much attention when we were this close to the underbelly of Suna life.

"Haven't you heard that _Mother knows best?_ "

Suddenly, I felt my body go slack. Every fiber of my being that had been trying to resist him abruptly gave in. His arms that had been keeping me still were now keeping me up, and I realized that the voice I thought so disgustingly dangerous before, was now sweet on my neck. "Seems you do remember me after all." I felt his lips spread into a grin against my face.

My arms and legs buzzed as if all the blood had been allowed to flow back into them, and there was an urgency in my bones, but I couldn't remember ever wanting to run away. Why was a scream poised on the tip of my tongue? Surely it was out of joy, because there was nowhere else I wanted to be, zero else I had to do. There was nothing in the world that was as important as his next words, and I knew this absolutely, with every cell in my body.

"Terminate the Kazekage. Destroy the village. Return to your master." He whispered, and then I felt him drag his tongue over my ear. It was cold where he licked me, but I neither flinched nor wanted to move.

"Where?" I heard myself ask. My own voice sounded deadpan, but my heart was thumping in my chest. I was thrilled to death, despite my tone. He released me then, apparently sure that I was his to mold, and stepped back, letting me see his face. There was a sly smirk on his lips, like he was playing some sort of game, and he liked the fact that I didn't know the rules, but knew I desperately wanted to play.

"He is all about you, but cannot be seen. He can be captured, but cannot be held. You will find him in the answer." He reached up and booped me on the nose.

"As you command." I answered, and the night took a turn towards the dark.


End file.
